House Shark (SRS Cinema LLC Novelization Book 2) (2024)

So I’d like to apologize to Brian Berry. He made a comment to me recently and it didn’t all come full circle until I saw the cover to this book. I didn’t realize that some of his books were direct literary adaptations of actual horror films. Totally my error. I’m only 38, but can I claim to have had a series of senior moments? So this story was absolute rubbish. But in a good way. A shark that lives inside the house…eats some people…experts are brought in to kill it…there was a Native American…people named after US presidents…a big showdown…a hot babysitter…gore and guts…the end. Pretty awesome, right? Now it didn’t occur to me how similar the shark was to our 18-month old tuxedo kitten, Sir Didymos. He jumps out of random locations (Sinks, closets, hampers, showers) to attack his victims, he bites and scratches nonstop, has the ‘crazy eyes,’ and basically has my family in a constant state of fear. Even our older cat, who is twice his size, just tries to steer clear of him. He also has confirmed kills in a mouse and several crickets. So this story rung so true to me. The struggle is real, my friends. And I am here to tell my story…jumpscares, love, redemption, action galore, and just trying to adjust to living with a vicious little bastard animal. Cats and sharks are too similar for comfort and neither can be trusted. Thank you for your time. - Peter Topside.

If you don’t like House Shark you’re an asshole. Maybe a little harsh, but I stand by it I guess. I remember when I first laid eyes upon the house shark. It was at WalMart for $9.99. A friend and I had travelled to Chicago for the biggest independent wrestling show of all time. None of that mattered, we found a DVD called House Shark. We both put out general calls for people to bring a DVD player to our room so we could see this thing. No one answered the call. Because assholes exist. All of that aside, Brian Berry’s books always find me when I’m in bubble bath mood and I’m glad for it. This was the level of pure camp, fun dialogue, insane characters, and ooey gooey I needed to calm down after a couple stressful days. It was like watching the movie in the bubble bath without the risk of ⚡️electrocution⚡️and honestly what more could I ask for? If you’re looking at this review you’ve either seen the movie, thought the title and cover were I N S A N E, or you’re a Berry fan. I can answer all of the thoughts you’re having; yes the book is as good as the movie, yeah it’s I N S A N E, and this remains 100% totally still a Brian Berry book. Don’t be an asshole. K thx.

The sounds of a boat on a lake coming from the ceiling, in the walls, under the bed. A mention of Guy N Smith (awesome). A sexy naked woman sitting on the porcelain, her arse gripped like hot molten daggers yank her down the toilet snapping her legs, a f*cking goddamn shark ferociously attacking. Something bad was in this house, something that didn't belong here, something that belonged in the sea haunted this house. The shark was now a predator, a machine of death, a meat incinerator. A body exploded 50 gallons of blood, the head flying through the air, caught by reflexes, great catch mate. A group will decide to kill this mother truckin house shark. The shark chomps down cutting a man in half, the legs walking like a drunken teen until collapsing gushing entrails. Do you know that more people die per year from house sharks than vending machines? Physics doesn't mean sh*t to this mutant shark. The movie is bonkers, the novel is bonkers multipled by bonkers. Brian has now cornered the market of independent crazy movies that desperately need novelizations and I will continue to lap and read it up.

was this a work or art? no. did i have a cracking time reading it? yes.

I’m gonna just come straight out and say it: House Shark was not my literary cup of tea. And while I’m all for dumb and humorous quick reads that aren’t to be taken too seriously, this one wasn’t it.

It went beyond the point of “so bad it’s good” to just plain “bad”. I disliked the plot (which is saying a lot since I enjoy terrible movies), every character, the awful attempts with humor…basically all of it, even though I know that the film this book was based on was never meant to be taken as a literal attempt at horror.

Let it be known that the low rating has absolutely nothing to do with the author himself. In fact, it’s because of Berry’s writing that I think the prose version of this mindlessly dumb film was actually palatable, readable, and saved this story from a dreaded one star review.

Berry’s writing talent is unquestionable and past works have demonstrated his fantastic storytelling ability. His ordinal work and skill far outweighs the source material he was working with here.

As a fan of what he has showcased in the past, I’m still looking forward to his next book.

The Brian G Berry Sharkfest continues! First of all if you haven't seen the movie read this then watch it. If you have already seen it then fintastic, you have great taste in B movies! Now read the novelization! At the time of this post it is on Kindle Unlimited.

This was just a complete blast to read! Keeping it true to the movie on all accounts yet still throwing in his own quirky writing! The characters were so fun and makes you want to laugh at them not with them 😆. As always the author brought his amazing talent of gore while keeping the storyline as plausible as possible with something so bizarre as a house shark. If you are looking for a absolutely entertaining, gore infused and comical read then grab this one!

Fun story while reading this. I have a bobblehead shark that I keep on the window sil in my kitchen. When the first entrance of Abe in the book occurs, my shark just fell off the sil and into my sink. 😆😆

Berry writes this adaptation of the insane low budget feature film from Ron Bonk like a creep on crank leering at you from a dark alley with one hand down his pants, narrating the story with drool on his chin and butt stuff in his eyes.

I would have liked to "read" the original ending with a discombobulated Abe but as it stands, this is the fastest and funniest novelization you'll read this side of the Syracuse Parade of Houses.

On to The Barn novelization next. Berry is a gacked out machine of a genre scribe!

I edited, loved it, laughed my ass off! If a campy-B-movie-comedy-horror is what you're in the mood for ... look no further! BUY NOW!

This was pretty good, lots of gross out comedy.

A shark invades a home and almost everything that crosses its pass is a meal of blood and gore. Plus the cover is cool!