Best of Detroit 2023 (2024)

Best New Restaurant — Upscale
Café Via
310 E. Maple Rd., Birmingham; 248-644-8800

The menu at Café Via is eclectic, and all details are well attended to, from the excellent sharp yellow olive oil that starts the meal to the look of each dish on the plate. The menu ranges from the hearty, such as lamb chops or tenderloin with green peppercorn cognac sauce, through lighter seafood and pasta dishes. Goat cheese ravioli, for example, remind the diner playfully of a fried egg while expertly combining the tart cheese with sweet squash and pine nuts. Shrimp and mussels are paired with house-made sausage and brought together with a simple sauce. Tiny rooms give an intimate feel, or there's a fine patio.

Best Discount Splurge
Atlas Global Bistro
3111 Woodward Ave., Detroit; 313-831-2241

This should come as no surprise to our readers: They once voted it the best affordable (but expensive) restaurant (meaning you can get out for less than $50 per diner). Why? Because Atlas has the vibe of a hip city eatery, thanks to its striking interiors, knowledgeable service and international cuisine. What's more, in Atlas' quirky kitchen, ingredients don't necessarily remain with their cuisine-of-origin, and the fusion fare can be at once exotic and down-home, mixing it up with lemongrass, cactus, Gorgonzola, caviar and black-eyed peas. And Atlas simply oozes hip urban cachet, nestled in the Addison Building — a 1905 beaux arts structure that once flirted with the wrecking ball — where it sports high ceilings, polished floors and street views of Detroit's historic Brush Park.

Best Fine-Dining Value
Bistro 222
22266 Michigan Ave., Dearborn; 313-792-7500

Veteran chef Michael Chamas (LA Express, La Dolce Vita), who trained with Wolfgang Puck and Keith Famie, has put together a near-perfect bistro. Such a romantic setting and colorful and creative dishes usually come at a price. But not here where you can feast on risotto with diver scallops and shrimp or sautéed lake perch in a creamy caper sauce among entrées that hover around the $16 mark. The bistro became even more attractive after Chamas finally obtained a liquor license and filled his list with affordable interesting bottles.

Best Pre-Theater — Moderate
The Majestic Cafe
4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; 313-833-9700

The Majestic recently changed its menu, shifting to mostly small plates, expanding to a global perspective, and lowering the cost of a pre-theater outing. The Zaineas, good citizens long committed to the development of the Woodward corridor, have retained only a few of their Middle Eastern dishes, such as tabbouleh. But you now can enjoy Greek pizza loaded with feta, Korean short ribs and a handful of mains that average around $13. With the big windows looking out on Woodward, changing art on the walls and a diversified urban clientele, the Majestic is an ideal perch to while away the time before a play, symphony or concert.

Best Service
Due Venti
220 S. Main St., Clawson; 248-288-0220

Complementing the inventive fare and reasonable prices at this cozy trattoria are a splendid group of intelligent and graceful servers. Knowledgeable about the nature of such dishes as the pistachio-encrusted sea bass, Tuscan spare ribs, and complex and unique appetizers, they offer recommendations to suit each diner's tastes — if asked. Moreover, they are quite attentive to empty wine and water glasses, and are sensitive to individual patrons' approach to that tricky problem of plate clearing. It helps that the venue is so small that no one is ever a few feet away from the nearest server.

Best Return to Roots
Cinco Lagos
424 N. Main St., Milford; 248-684-7455

Acclaimed chef Brian Polcyn needs no introduction around these parts. He's cooked at many of Detroit's most notable restaurants including the Golden Mushroom, the Lark and Pike Street to name a few. His Five Lakes Grill drew folks from all over to Milford, becoming a catalyst for many of the other dining venues in town. His latest venture, Cinco Lagos — Five Lakes — has taken him back to his Mexican heritage, thus honoring his Mexican mother. Most of the dishes will be familiar, but the fresh, quality ingredients are taken to a level well above much of our gringo-ized Mexican fare.

Best Recession Makeover
Big Beaver Tavern
645 E. Big Beaver Rd., Troy; 248-680-0066

When the Larcos decided they could no longer sustain their venerable white-tablecloth ristorante, they briefly closed and then reopened last summer as the Big Beaver Tavern. Their extensive menu now offers what one would expect in a sports bar, but they retained Peter, their CIA-trained chef and son, in the kitchen, where he continues to turn out several old favorites such as baked penne palmina, calamari in a peppery sauce, and a chopped Italian salad, all of which transcend, by far, the genre. Among the new items is the huge burger whose $12.99 price tag comes with a T-shirt proclaiming that "I Ate the Big Beaver."

Best New Spinoff
Shangri-La
4710-12 Cass Ave., Detroit; 313-974-7669

After Chinatown in the Cass Corridor finally faded away more than a decade ago, there were few places there or anywhere in the city that featured decent Chinese food. Last year, however, Shangri-La opened a branch of its Farmington Hills restaurant in the old Twingo's near Wayne State with a less expensive and less extensive menu to meet the needs of its student clientele — including around 300 from China. Fortunately, it offers the dim sum that made the original famous, and it is served not just at lunch but during dinner hours, as well as Chinese tapas. An added attraction is legendary restaurateur Raymond Wong out front.

Best New Dining Destination
Grosse Pointe

It was only a matter of time that the Pointes, once a legendary culinary wasteland, would become a destination suburb for foodies. As their demographic and class structures became increasingly diversified, so too did the restaurants. Thus, one now can eat well at the Dirty Dog Jazz Café, Jumps, The Hill, Dylan's Raw Bar, City Kitchen and Café Nini, not to mention branches of solid local chains, Salvatore Scallopini, Da Eduoardo and Andiamo. If they only opened a multiplex theatre or two, the Pointes could become a more complete entertainment center.

Best Reason to Dine in Tec*mseh

Evans St. Station

110 S. Evans St., Tec*mseh; 517-424-5555
Sixty-three miles from downtown Detroit, small-town Tec*mseh can hold its own, culinarily. Chef and co-owner Alan Merhar, a veteran of Tribute and Forté and a slow food devotee, works with local farmers to create a sophisticated and seasonally changing menu that includes such gems as butternut squash bisque with parsnips, duck breast with risotto and Brussels sprouts, and miso- and sesame-crusted pork tenderloin. Both the service and Evans Street’s big-windowed space are calm and relaxed, and there’s a patio. Bottles of wine are half off on Wednesdays — so it could be a destination even midweek.

Best Al Fresco in the Vicinity of Downtown Detroit
Le Petit Zinc Creperie & Café
1055 Trumbull St., Corktown; 313-963-2805

An oasis of calm just a block from the main P.O., Le Petit Zinc is already serving outside, among raised beds of herbs, hanging plants, and a few fanciful items that include a tin rooster and a child-sized picnic table. You can almost imagine the sun is Mediterranean as you slurp latte from a great big bowl and eat salade Niçoise or ratatouille. When it's reliably warm, hours will be 10 to 10. All that's lacking now is the beer and wine license owner Charles Sorel is seeking.

Best Ann Arbor Restaurant
Eve: The Restaurant
415 N. Fifth Ave., Ann Arbor; 734-222-0711

When Eve Aronoff opened her namesake restaurant in Ann Arbor, it immediately joined the ranks of establishments that are known for truly fine dining. Eve's cuisine reflects her classic French training, using the finest ingredients from sustainable sources, cooking everything from scratch, bringing out the natural flavors of the food, hallmarks of the Slow Food movement. Wines by the glass are 20 percent off and there are seasonal appetizers and co*cktail specials during happy hour on Tuesday through Friday. On Thursdays from 9:30 to 11 p.m., complimentary appetizers are served along with live music.

Best Seafood
SaltWater
Inside MGM Detroit Grand, 1777 Third St., Detroit; 313-465-1646

The menu was designed by San Francisco chef Michael Mina, and Frisco favorite cioppino — a shellfish stew in tomato broth — is one of the standouts on a menu that runs from fish and chips to an over-the-top lobster pot pie. High-quality fish are simply grilled; raw shellfish are as fresh as we can get them here. Preparation styles range from Maine to Baja to Vietnam and the U.S. South. The setting is elegant too — once you get past the slots. Management claims half the diners aren't gamblers, making a beeline directly to Saltwater.

Best Barbecue
Union Woodshop
18 S. Main St., Clarkston; 248-625-5660

Located on Main Street in downtown Clarkston, the upscale Union Woodshop has a look that is the antithesis of barbecue joints found on the dirt roads hidden from rural highways in the Carolinas and in Texas. The joint's food, however, shares the flavors that can usually only be derived from low-and-slow wood-smoking, which creates the pink smoke ring that is a sign of authentic country 'cue. From tender brisket and pulled pork to ribs and chicken, there are no disappointments here. The pizzas, cooked in a wood-burning oven, are as good as the barbecued meats. Do not miss the mac and cheese!

Best Sandwich Shop
Famous Izzy's Restaurant and Bakery
20733 13 Mile Rd., Roseville; 586-294-6750

This east side sandwich shop has earned a loyal following based on the size of its portions. It's the home of the 25-inch, half-pound hot dog, the 7-pound steak burger (which the menu describes as "not for wimps"), and sandwiches that aren't just double-deckers or triple-deckers — but four-deckers so tall they have to be served on skewers. In such an environment, you might expect the focus to be on quantity while the quality slides. Thankfully, Izzy's pays attention to the details. Their policy prohibits sharing sandwiches, but that's no problem, as we can confirm that the doggie bag from one of their $10 "Ex-Wife Specials" can last you three lunches at work. See also their "Mile High" cakes — cakes so big they are decorated with little cakes of their own. Truly, Izzy's is a land of the giants.

Best Sandwich Shop — Downtown Detroit
Lunchtime Global
660 Woodward, First National Building, Detroit; 313-963-4871

The house rules — everything from scratch and made in-house — have created loyal customers for this spot's six soups a day plus salads, quiche, panini and regular sandwiches. The in-house baking operation produces focaccia, whole wheat and regular baguettes, rye and sourdough, plus scones, cookies and pain au chocolat. The breads enfold such inventive sandwiches as roasted sweet potato with pesto cream cheese and roasted red peppers, or "wild Reuben," with whole grain mustard and horseradish, or more pedestrian choices such as "Mom's Tuna." Nearly as quick as fast food but, as the owner says, you don't hate yourself afterward.

Best Sushi Lounge
Inyo
22871 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; 248-543-9500

Only in this era of globalization can the sushi lounge thrive in the Midwest. Iron your most stylish black outfit and head to Inyo for a night of downbeat and nu-disco tunes while sipping such co*cktails as the Bonsai — an invigorating combination of gin, lemongrass syrup and cucumber. The raw fish is fresh and the plates look as good as they taste. Try a specialty makimono such as the Inyo roll, a marriage of king crab, strawberry, Japanese cucumber and mango sauce all topped with caviar.

Best Small Plates
Cliff Bell's
2030 Park Ave., Detroit; 313-961-2543

Frankly, any food served at the recently restored Art Deco live jazz bar Cliff Bell's will taste a little finer in that atmosphere. But the fact is, they do small plates better than most restaurants that claim the title. With everything from simple oysters on-the-half-shell to coq au vin, the French-inspired, seasonally adjusted, utterly eclectic food menu is perfect for selecting a variety of dishes and sharing among a group of friends sipping on well-made classic co*cktails.

Best Thin-Crust Pizza
Supino Pizzeria
2457 Russell St., Detroit; 313-567-7879

Ask Dave Mancini if his pizza is New Haven or New York or Napoletana style. He'll tell that he calls it "thin crust," adding that the designations are subjective. Whatever the style, it's good. Damn good. Calling it "destination dining" might be gilding the lily, but people are heading to Eastern Market just for the 'za long after the daily market bustle has ended. And that's a good sign. All of the components are the result of research and trial and error. Dave even went to Phoenix to talk to Chris Bianco, who is considered the pizza guru. Experiment. Try two or three different slices, served only at lunch.

Best New Haven Pizza
Tomatoes Apizza
29275 14 Mile Rd., Farmington Hills; 248-855-5355
24369 Halsted Rd., Farmington; 248-888-4888

Tomatoes Apizza — Sopranos-style pronunciation is ah-BEETZ — had one of the first wood-fired pizza ovens in the metroplex, and became a pioneer with the first charcoal-fired oven at the Farmlington Hills location. The pizzaiolo pazzo, that is, "crazy pizza maker," Mike Weinstein, is so fanatical about pizza pie that after graduating from the Culinary Institute of America, he went to New Haven, Conn., to learn art of pizza Napoletana — the ultra-thin, light on the toppings and cheese version — that is served at the legendary Sally's, Pepe's and Lou Abate's. The guy is obsessed and the resultant pie is the best.

Best Pizza and Wine
Crust
2595 Rochester Rd., Rochester Hills; 248-844-8899
8622 Telegraph Rd., Bloomfield Twp.; 248-855-5855

Crust's Neopolitan-style, thin, crisp and chewy individual pies with their fresh and creative fillings (try the obviously inauthentic but well-conceived barbecued chicken or the peanut-enhanced Thai) are the main attraction here. But the owners also care about providing wine at reasonable prices with a changing list of sometimes-obscure varietals, including a crisp vino verde from Portugal at only $22. The Telegraph Road location, catering to patrons who frequent the nearby Maple Theatre, has a slightly more expensive list than its Rochester Road cousin.

Best Soups

Modern Food & Spirits

1535 Cass Lake Rd., Keego Harbor; 248-681-4231

Co-owners and creative co-chefs Kim and Francis Stanton have created a neighborhood spot that puts out creative, reasonably priced food, in a comfortable, friendly environment. The menu reflects the years of experience that the Stantons have garnered in a number of diverse kitchens. Kim, who concocts them, should be known as the Soup Lady. Try the sampler: all three soups for only $3 bucks with an entrée, $5 without. Choices on any given day might include tom yum broth with Asian vegetable, Cuban black bean, sweet potato corn chowder with collards, and the real customer favorite: red lentil with apricots. Modern is an upscale neighborhood restaurant with affordable prices, and a nice, again reasonable wine selection.

Best Upscale Burger

Motor Burger

888 Erie St. E., Windsor, Ontario; 519-252-8004

Formerly the well-heeled Noi, newcomer Motor Burger is now serving "the masses" — but it’s still aspirational in its reach. Burgers range from the classic, which can be gussied up with bacon, Gruyère or caramelized onions, to a $27 Kobe brisket double, adorned with a grilled portobello and truffle oil. The term "burger" is used loosely: there’s ground turkey with a hoisin glaze; ground shrimp with coconut milk, avocado and mango salsa; and an ahi tuna burger, spiced up with chile and chipotle and topped with sesame oil and arugula. Hand-cut fries and sweet onion rings are done just right. Though family-friendly in the early hours, with a kids’ menu, the place attracts a more sophisticated clientele later on for the "Lubricants": mixed drinks, mostly Canadian beers, and milkshakes spiked with liqueurs.

Best Falafel

Yossi’s

7325 Orchard Lake Rd., West Bloomfield; 248-626-0160

As far as we can tell, Yossi’s is the only Israeli restaurant in the area. Israelis are said to make the best falafel anywhere (although, perhaps by Israelis). Yossi’s falafel stands above the rest. It’s fried to perfection — crisp on the outside, warm and soft on the inside. The seasonings include abundant fresh herbs that make the difference. The Pita Pocket is filled with falafel, tahina, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, and, by request, hummus and shug, a hot sauce they make in-house. Try it with the works: make sure that you have plenty of napkins.

Best Pommes Frites

Bastone

419 S. Main St., Royal Oak; 248-544-6250

In one of the more competitive categories, Bastone continues to score well, even considering the growing number of kitchens turning out sweet-potato fries. Twice-fried, the Bastone’s thin treats, which are accompanied by mayonnaise-based sauces enlivened with garlic, basil, horseradish or other flavors, transport one virtually to Brussels’ magnificent Grand Place. Needless to say, no such trip would be complete without onion soup, mussels, and brewed-in-house Belgian-style beer, all of which are handled well by the folks at Bastone.

Best Pho
Thang Long
27641 John R Rd., Madison Heights; 248-547-6763

What's not to like about a huge bowl of rich, slowly developed meat broth flavored with spices and filled with rice vermicelli noodles and beef? Add the garnishes of basil leaf, cilantro, bean sprouts, fresh hot peppers and lime and what you have is a restorative beyond measure. Thang Long's menu has all the variations: beef slices, beef tendon, beef meatballs, beef tripe, combinations of all the previous varieties of beef and finally chicken. And if you ever tire of soup, the menu is filled with fresh and tasty Vietnamese dishes.

Best Duck
Sabidee
1449 W. 14 Mile Rd., Madison Heights; 248-597-0800

With so many restaurants that previously served whole and half roasted duck retrogressing to duck breast and confit only, it is comforting to find a few that stick to the older tradition. And here we are talking about a really old Asian tradition with the bronzed crispy-skinned yet moist and tender duck, marinated in tamarind sauce, presented at Sabidee, a tiny family-run dining spot that specializes in Laotian home cooking. There are other items of interest on the menu, including larb, Laotian stew, papaya salad and basil steak, but the duck is one of the best reasons to trek to Madison Heights, which has become a center for modest Asian fare.

Best Place to Order a Calamari Appetizer and Bottle of Wine
El Barzón
3710 Junction St., Detroit; 313-894-2070

Just about every restaurant with a deep fryer offers a calamari appetizer. Most of them are good, though some are merely edible. What sets fritto misto El Barzón apart, besides its delicate tenderness, large size and the generous addition of hot peppers, is the accompanying wine list. Though there are several wines capable of pairing with it, we particularly enjoy a bottle of rustic, natural Gavi, which tastes something like plump cider and flowers and almost turns sweet in contrast.

Best Corned Beef Hash
Farmer's Restaurant
2542 Market St., Detroit; 313-259-8230

When Eastern Market is full of local bounty it's a good idea that you fill your belly before shopping or chances are you're going to buy more than you can eat. A massive plate of Farmer's Restaurant corned beef hash should more than suffice. Hash browns, grilled onions and thinly sliced corned beef are piled high beneath two eggs cooked to order. It's fuel for the day. Not a fan of corned beef? Try their fat, juicy and finely ground breakfast sausage, reminiscent of a good German weisswurst.

Best Tacos al Pastor
Los Altos
7056 W. Vernor Hwy., Detroit; 313-841-3109

A cousin to gyros, pork cooked al pastor is marinated in an adobo mixture, then slowly cooked on a vertical spit, then thinly shaved. Owner Adan Lopez won't reveal any of the secrets that make his meat so succulent, so porky, so intense, other than guajillo chilies, but he does brag that Los Altos' founder is from the town in Jalisco where tacos al pastor were invented. They're topped, as tradition demands, with heaps of chopped onion and cilantro, and stuffed very, very full — don't plan on carrying out and eating while you drive. Cost? One thin dollar.

Best Sweet Potato Fries
Seva
314 E. Liberty, Ann Arbor; 734-662-1111

Proof that frozen can be fabulous! Seva buys its gluten-free "yam fries" frozen — which, according to owner Maren Jackson, makes for consistent quality — then dunks them in hot canola oil. The result is a crowd-pleasing combination of the crunch and fat of French fries with the rich sweetness (but not too much) of sweet potatoes. What's not to like? The sweet-plus-hot dipping sauce, mayo mixed with Clancy's Fancy hot sauce, is surprisingly popular too. "If only we had trademarked it," Jackson says.

Best Crêpes
What Crêpe?
317 S. Washington Ave., Royal Oak; 248-629-9391

The cute 22-seat crêperie is all angles and nooks, mismatched china and chairs. It serves substantial, well-stuffed crêpes, though not paper-thin; two are more than enough for a meal. The innards are fancy — real whipped cream, truffle oil — but well-thought-out: shiitakes with Gruyère; prosciutto, arugula and Parmesan; smoked salmon with red onion, avocado and crème fraiche. You can build your own from the long ingredients list. The best sweet crêpe is the simplest: just butter, sugar and lemon, so you can taste the delicate crêpe itself. Try anything with "truffle zip sauce."

Best Hot & Sour Soup
Dong Sing
40816 Ryan Rd., Sterling Heights; 586-939-6323

Hot & sour soup is the new wonton, now included on every Chinese menu and considered a measure of a restaurant's kitchen by those who love it. Dong Sing leads the pack with a spicy, viscous broth laden with strips of chicken, chunks of tofu, tiger lily buds, wood ears and bamboo shoots. The heat comes from chili oil. The sweet comes from vinegar. A spoonful of sesame oil weaves through it all, leaving a subtle aftertaste, making you wish you'd either picked up more or lived closer to this inconspicuous little storefront carryout. Medium is hot. Hot is really hot. Buyer beware!

Best Soul Food Restaurant
Beans & Cornbread: A Soulful Bistro
29508 Northwestern Hwy., Southfield; 248-208-1680

The vibe at Beans & Cornbread hits you when you walk in the door, which is frequently held open by a host or a waitress who notices your approach, a hint of the friendly service that awaits. Think of it as gentrified soul food served in a setting that celebrates African-American history. The dining room exudes cosmopolitan comfort: Jazz wafts through a room highlighted by photos of such historic luminaries as Billie Holiday, Paul Robeson and our own Aretha Franklin. The food is comforting, including fried chicken, "Baby Sister's Backyard Ribs," killer salmon croquettes, pork chops, chicken (smothered or fried), catfish and the expected multitude of sides: greens, black-eyed peas, red beans and rice, mac and cheese, hoppin' john, candied sweet potatoes and many more of the usual suspects.

Best Italian Restaurant — Non-Chain
Bacco
29410 Northwestern Hwy., Southfield; 248-356-6600

Chef Luciano Del Signore has established an extraordinary restaurant: make that a dining experience. The professional, gracious waiters are attentive without becoming intrusive, knowledgeable enough to describe every detail about the menu and to discuss the specials without referring to a note card. The outdoor patio is perfect for summertime dining. The prices are surprisingly reasonable. The insalata di rucola e finocchi — arugula and fennel with toasted walnuts and orange sections coated with lemon oil — is a perfect prelude to Strozzapreti Norcina: hand-rolled pasta, Italian sausage, black truffles, tomatoes and cream.

Best Greek Restaurant
Cyprus Taverna
579 Monroe St., Detroit; 313-961-1550

Over the years, Greektown has become a little .... less Greek? It may have suffered due to the ceaseless casino construction, which removed some parking and built a tubeway over the street, changing the flow of pedestrians. But all through it, the Avgoustis family held on, remaining the consummate hosts, greeting you warmly and suggesting dishes that will bring you back. Let them put together a mezza platter with perhaps a dozen or more preludes to a great meal. Don't miss the salmon stuffed with shrimp, feta and herbs all awash in a lemon sauce.

Best Middle Eastern Restaurant
Anita's Kitchen
22651 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; 248-548-0680

Jennifer, Anita's daughter, and Joe Wegrzyn are the consummate hosts, the warmest, friendliest folks you'll find anywhere. One or both of them are always present, assuring an experience that must be similar to eating in their home. Start with an appetizer combo of hummous, tabbouleh, baba ghanoush and fattoush and a glass of Lebanese wine. Try a braised lamb shank or a piece of char-grilled swordfish. If you can't decide, go for the mixed mezza; for $30 you'll sample the shawarma — meat and chicken — tawook, grape leaves, salads, falafel. There's so much more that even four of you will leave with your next meal in a bag.

Best Authentic Mediterranean Restaurant
Lebanese Grill
1600 Rochester Rd., Troy; 248-526-1444

OK, the kitsch-laden walls and the desert murals are not especially authentic, but the kitchen is, as well as the Lebanese (only) wine list and the tabloid-style menu, which, along with the lengthy roster of selections, provides an accurate history and geography lesson about that tiny country. Go for the earthy traditional dishes that need to be italicized in a review such as ghallaba, borghul and mjadara. The gracious Charaf family also operates a Lebanese Grill in Shelby Township.

Best Local Innovation in Middle Eastern Cuisine
La Saj Lebanese Grill
13776 Southcove Drive, Sterling Heights; 586-566-6600

La Saj takes its name from the inverted wok oven in the kitchen on which dishes are prepared without an open flame. Rare in these parts, this ancient Syrian technique results in especially moist versions of the classic Middle Eastern kitchen. Somewhat more upscale than many of its competitors in terms of decorations, linens and tableware, the restaurant on the outer edge of Lakeside Mall does a bang-up job with its appetizer or mezze sampler, served in separate small plates rather than a large unwieldy platter. The garlic sauce that comes with the warm pita is also special.

Best Cheap Middle Eastern Restaurant
Beirut Kabob
5827 W. Vernor Hwy., Detroit; 313-841-2100

The Ahmad brothers serve fine versions of familiar favorites at prices well below Dearborn's, in a Mexicantown location that's been spruced up with care. The highest-priced entrée is $12, for three skewers of meat plus rice, pickles and salad. Most entrées are $6 or $7 — say kafta kabob, shish kabob or shish tawook, served with a perfect, sharp and creamy garlic sauce. Best bets are kibbi, mujadarah covered with fried onions, chicken lime rice soup and smoky, garlicky baba ghanoush, topped with pine nuts.

Best Ethnic Restaurant on a Budget
Aladdin Sweets & Café
11945 Conant St., Hamtramck; 313-891-8050

If one measure of good ethnic cuisine is the percentage of fellow diners that speak with an accent, Aladdin easily passes that test. A steady stream of eat-in, carry-out and catering customers flow through this tiny Bangladeshi joint that serves slow-braised goat and other authentic-tasting meats and sweets. With the food being served on paper plates and the utensils plastic, the ambience isn't the best, but apparently this is enough to keep the prices on this quality fare low enough to compete with fast food franchises.

Best Ethiopian Restaurant
Taste of Ethiopia
29702F Southfield Rd., Southfield; 248-905-5560
2453 Russell St., Eastern Market, Detroit; 313-567-6000 (lunch only)

The all-you-can-eat, some-of-everything tradition is the way to go, because each serving of collards, lentils, peas, carrots, cabbage, lamb, beef and chicken is so intensely delicious that you wouldn't want to be limited. It's also worth considering the three-course dinner, though, to try the lentil-carrot-scallion soup, plantains or fresh fruit for dessert, and justly famous Ethiopian coffee. Omnivores and vegetarians are all happy here, where legumes and vegetables are far from an afterthought.

Best Indian Restaurant
Rangoli Indian Cuisine
3055 E. Walton Blvd., Auburn Hills; 248-377-3800

Numerous Indian friends have confirmed this year's choice of Rangoli. The space is attractive, not distracting. The service is efficient, performed by a knowledgeable, pleasant staff. But we're here to eat. Indian food is gaining in popularity all over the Detroit metropolitan area. Rangoli's extensive menu, though intimidating to anyone not familiar with the food, is a great place to start. Let your server be your guide. Just do not miss the tadka dal: split lentils, turmeric, ginger and tomatoes "tempered with mustard seed, garlic and onions, etc."

Best Indian Buffet
Royal Indian Cuisine
3877 Rochester Rd., Troy; 248-743-0223

We chose Royal Indian Cuisine in part due to the spice level of many of the dishes, frequently geared to timid Americanized tastes. But it takes more than heat to sway us. The array of appetizers, lamb, chicken, rice, dals, chutneys, salads ands dessert includes a daily changing selection of numerous fragrant, delicious vegetable choices, a delight for noncarnivores. Naan, a puffy flatbread, is served at each table, hot, just out of the tandoor, a wood-burning clay oven. A tariff of $7.95 launches an exploration into this complex cuisine.

Best Indian Street Food
Neehee's Indian Vegetarian Street Food
45490 Ford Rd., Canton; 734-737-9777
35203 Grand River Ave., Farmington; 248-471-0604

Not familiar with Indian street food? Most of the customers are, and they're packing the place. The choices are from all over India, and if the immigrants miss the fun of buying from a street vendor, at least they're conveniently brought together under one (small) roof. The uninitiated can read the big posters that explain what's what: besides the familiar samosas and pakoras, there are stuffed and plain dosas, Indo-Chinese selections, stuffed pancakes, sandwiches that put potatoes in a garlic bun, 25 different chaats — snacks that mix potatoes, onions, peas, chickpeas, yogurt, chilies and a host of spices and chutneys in a myriad of combinations — and house-made ice cream.

Best Vietnamese Restaurant
Da Nang
1 S. Main St., Clawson; 248-577-5130

Replacing last year's winner in this category, the admirable Thang Long, Da Nang offers a more elegant setting and some new culinary twists, albeit from a significantly smaller repertoire. For example, a curried chicken stew with a baguette reflects Vietnam's tragic colonial heritage. Translucent bahn beo rice cakes with shrimp bits are another interesting treat, as are the shredded cabbage with chicken and spongy pork meatballs with lemongrass, while Da Nang's take on increasingly ubiquitous pho is first-rate.

Best Thai Restaurant
Sawasdee
6175 Haggerty Rd., West Bloomfield; 248-926-1012

Sawasdee, which means hello in Thai, does a fine job with the standard fare and has some dishes that veer from the pack. Pad thai curry adds a sauce that transforms this popular dish. The never-changing daily specials are listed under the glass tabletop. An extensive lunch menu offers diners a choice of vegetarian, pork, seafood or chicken in each dish, most at a reasonable $7.95. Spice levels range from no spice to XX HOT, which is two levels above hot. Sounds dangerous!

Best Chinese Take-Out
Gim Ling
31402 Harper Ave., St. Clair Shores; 586-296-0070

St. Clair Shores' Chinese restaurant Gim Ling has as robust a carry-out business as we've witnessed. On any given Saturday night you might find a half dozen hungry east siders waiting on their orders, mainly because this is not the typical, starchy Chinese. The fantastic hot and sour soup is made to order and tastes like it. The gravies pack plenty of flavor without getting too heavy. And there is hardly any difference in price compared to lesser joints. Peruse their beautiful collection of Asian art while you wait.

Best Retro Experience
Mr. Paul's Chop House
29850 Groesbeck Hwy, Roseville; 586-777-7770

More than 40 years old, Mr. Paul's is stuck in time somewhere back in the early postwar era, when small towns like Roseville boasted one special roadhouse or supper club to which celebrants came on their birthdays or anniversaries. Here you can have one of the area's best Caesar salads, prepared with a theatrical flare at tableside, often by the owner himself. The chateaubriand steak for two and the cherries jubilee for dessert also involve a tableside show. The skilled, liveried waitstaff and the impressive French red-dominated wine list complete the picture of where adults went to play during the legendary Happy Days.

Best Irish Pub Food
Dick O'Dow's
160 W. Maple Rd., Birmingham; 248-642-1135

With its artifacts from the Ould Sod including faded reproductions from the Book of Kells on the walls, Dick O'Dow's looks authentic. The dishes in the small Irish section of the menu are as well. The arterty-clogging, generally potatoey (what else?) fare includes bangers and mash, fish and chips and Irish stew, buttressed by soda bread, and all washed down with a Guinness is a close as one can get here to a local in Kilkenny. It seems even more atmospheric in the dimly lit rear room away from the boisterous crowds and TVs, with its huge fireplace and rustic wooden tables.

Best Friendly Neighborhood Bar and Grill
Motor City Brewing Works
470 W. Canfield St., Detroit; 313-832-2700

Tucked away deep in the parking lot of the Traffic Jam, the Motor City Brewery's cozy taproom is a neighborhood hangout where everyone seems to know everyone's name. Along with its famous Ghettoblaster beer, they have expanded their limited food options a bit to now include a top-notch crusty and creamy pot of mac 'n' cheese and several thick and zesty Southwestern soups that could just as well be called variations on chili — if standard chili weren't offered in its traditional guise. Along with crisp individual pizzas and the company of Cass Corridor characters and Wayne State students and employees, it is a perfect place to toss back a few most any time of the day.

Best Diner
Northside Grill
1015 Broadway, Ann Arbor; 734-995-0965

Long revered as the top contender for best diner, especially for breakfast, the Northside diner is a simple room, filled every morning with patrons who seem to enjoy the bustle nearly as much as the food. Egg dishes come in every possible style: from "Make It Your Way" omelets to specialty breakfast sandwiches and on to corned beef hash, biscuits and gravy and huevos rancheros. The real draw is the skillets, which are one-plate "eggstravaganzas" served in a skillet over hash browns. "The Big Easy" is a mix of vegetables and andouille and Cajun spice topped with cheese and eggs served with toast or biscuit. Top that!

Best Slow Food
Mind Body & Spirits
301 S. Main St., Rochester; 248-651-3663

Mind Body & Spirits proves that you can run an environmentally conscious restaurant without sacrificing quality. All the food is organic and local if possible. MBS has built relationships with local farmers to ensure a steady supply of seasonal produce — and they even help out, providing seedlings for the luxuriant greenhouse that faces Third Street. As the days grow warmer, follow the crowd to the rooftop patio above the greenhouse and dine among the potted tomatoes, herbs and hot peppers while the sweet perfume of smoldering hardwood from the flatbread oven fills the air.

Best 'Blunch'
The Fly Trap
22950 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; 248-399-5150

Ask anyone waiting in line for a table on a Saturday afternoon why the Fly Trap consistently makes the Best Of issue. For a couple more bucks per plate, they give you diner food taken to glorious heights — macaroni and cheese goes gourmet with cheddar, smoked Gouda and blue cheeses; an over-the-top patty melt includes North African spiced chicken breast and garlic, lemon aioli; even mere hash gets the treatment with hot spiced beef brisket, beets and smashed-garlic fried potatoes.

Best Street Food Destination
Eastern Market

Detroit is hardly the best city to find street food, but you wouldn't know it walking around Eastern Market on a Saturday. Follow the enticing aroma of Bert's outdoor grills, which send wafts of mouthwatering smoke into the market. Inside the market you can find baked goods, soups, sandwiches, sometimes even crêpes being made. Explore the shops around the market for quick eats. Gabriel Import Co. always has a table full of spinach-and-cheese pastries. Order a pita sandwich stuffed with your choice of sausages at Eastern Market Seafood Co.

Best Restaurant for co*cktail Hour
Roast
1128 Washington Blvd., Detroit; 313-961-2500

Weekdays between 4:30 and 6:30, for a mere $3 you can purchase one of a half-dozen plates. And these aren't little portions. Try a regular-sized grilled hamburger on an English muffin and topped with cheese, bacon, pickled onions and a fried egg. If that doesn't fill you up, fried chicken livers with mushrooms and polenta or spicy hot peppers stuffed with sausage might. Pair this with a few bargain drink specials and an eclectic downtown crowd for a couple truly happy hours.

Best Takeout
Lazybones Smokehouse
27475 Groesbeck Hwy., Roseville; 586-775-7427 (RIBS)

From his family's diner to an education in culinary arts and stints at the likes of the Golden Mushroom, chef Deni Smiljanovski has plenty of kitchen chops. Thankfully, somehow barbecue came into the mix. He traveled through the South, researching the best of Southern barbecue. Deni traveled throughout the nation's barbecue-rich regions, picking up pointers from the unheralded pit masters from the Carolinas to Texas, studying the art of smoked pork butt, tender brisket, spare ribs and chicken. This joint is a find for 'cue lovers, who can take a barbecue tour without leaving town. Save your bones by hitting Wednesday's all-you-can-carry-out lunch buffet, a bargain at less than $8.

Best Restaurant to Spot Anthony Bourdain
Polonia
2934 Yemans St., Hamtramck; 313-873-8432

When food celebrity Anthony Bourdain of Food Network's No Reservations did his Rust Belt tour a while back, the Detroit stop was Hamtramck's Polonia, where he dined on "the heavy but wonderful, vodka-soaked charms of Detroit Polish food." He and the program's producers understood that these Eastern European, meat-and-potatoes dishes will fill the hungriest of diners for little cash. They serve the classics from duck blood soup to city chicken. It doesn't hurt that they stock a full bar either.

Best Restaurant to Mourn

Annam Restaurant Vietnamien

A victim of the Great Recession, Annam was a perennial winner in both Vietnamese and design categories. By far the most elegant (but affordable) of Vietnamese restaurants in the area, its owner, Phuong Nguyen, served sophisticated and delicate dishes with Far Eastern grace, in both the presentation and the surroundings. The serenity relaxed the loyal fans, but their numbers dwindled. Where will they now find lime dipping sauce, lotus stem salad topped with fresh mint, or soups made with tamarind or quail eggs — ingredients that made the diner feel virtuous as well as delighted?

Best Hospital Food

Hummous, Oakwood Hospital, Dearborn

Gone are the days of identical trays featuring Jell-O delivered off carts wheeled throughout the hospital at pre-determined times. Now, nourishment for the bed-ridden — assuming it’s not just intravenous — is more like hotel room service: Pick up the menu and then the phone and it comes fresh and hot throughout the day. At Oakwood, it’s actually good. Especially the hummous, served with fresh pita. Finish with the chocolate cheesecake and some coffee. Just don’t order too much for your guests.

Best Rationale for Naming a Restaurant

Parrot Cove Yacht Club

33475 Dequindre Ave., Troy; 248-585-6080

The Craigs, owners of this raffish Key West-themed bar and grill far away from the water in a deindustrialized section of Troy, planned to name their establishment Parrot Head. Their sign painter had finished the word "parrot" when they were informed that the term Parrot Head is exclusively owned by Jimmy Buffet. With space for four letters on the sign, Head was transformed into Cove. They have encountered no problem serving exemplary burgers and ribs without the Buffet connotation.

Best Mexican Sit-Down Lunch Counter
La Mexicana #4
2524 Dixie Hwy., Waterford; 248-673-9723

Don't be confused when you walk into a small market full of shelves stocked with bottled salsas, dried chiles, fresh tortillas and fresh produce. All the way at the end sits a lunch counter and a handful of booths, mostly filled with Latinos. The kitchen is a griddle behind the counter providing a cook with just enough space to prepare some serious grub — on the cheap. Tacos are filled generously with beef, pork, tongue, chicken or house-made chorizo sprinkled with onions and cilantro for just shy of $1.50. There: It's not a secret anymore.

Best Urban Poolside Dining
Lefty's Lounge
5440 Cass Ave., Detroit; 313-831-5338

The Belcrest, that handsome art deco apartment building on Wayne State University's campus, boasts a lovely pool fronting on Cass. Denizens of Lefty's Lounge, which was founded by two southpaws who made it to the high minors, can enjoy their fine burgers and pizza on the patio outside the watering hole overlooking the pool. Alas, you'll need more than a pitcher to use the gated pool itself, which is off-limits except to residents and those who make arrangements for special parties. But on a warm day, the Lounge's poolside dining is still is a surprising oasis of calm amid the bustle of Midtown.

Best Restaurant Where You Can't Find a Seat
Slows
2138 Michigan Ave., Detroit; 313-962-9828

When Yogi Berra quipped "Nobody goes there anymore; it's too crowded," he could have been talking about Slows. But when most folks dig into a plate of perfectly slow-smoked barbecue accompanied by one of several house-made sauces, they realize it's worth the wait. Though all the delicious meat and side dishes are reminiscent of Southern food culture, Slows has one of the best wine and beer selections around. Barbecue lovers may soon have less of a wait, as Slows Express & Catering is slated to offer carry-out service in Midtown.

Best Food Recommendation from an Olympic Gold Medalist
Buffalo Empañada at the Prickly Pear
328 S. Main St., Ann Arbor; 734-930-0047

In his autobiography, the 14-time gold medalist Michael Phelps reported that he was fond of the buffalo empañadas at Ann Arbor's Prickly Pear. Phelps, who trained in the city, enjoyed that hearty and marginally healthy dish as part of his 12,000-calories-a-day training diet when he wasn't on his bong. This is not a bad recommendation. The Prickly Pear, which bills itself as a Southwestern bistro, is really Tex-Mex plus. The sweet and tender buffalo meat empañada, the sweet-potato enchiladas and the jicama cole slaw are among the reasons the restaurant has been thriving in a tough market since 1991.

Best Ice Cream
Guernsey Farms Dairy
21300 Novi Rd., Northville; 248-349-1466

Owned and operated since 1940 by the McGuire family, Guernsey Farms Dairy is a fixture in the area. The family is proud of their use high-quality ingredients, none of which have added hormones. They love to let you sample the ice cream, knowing that a taste will make you want more. A tour of the dairy reveals a pristine, sanitary environment, reassuring in an era of concern over food contamination. An on-site restaurant and an ice cream parlor sell the 48 flavors, something to please every palate. Visit guernseyfarmsdairy.com to find numerous locations throughout the area where Guernsey products are sold.

Best Unusual Dairy
Erma's Original Frozen Custard
6451 Auburn Rd., Shelby Twp.; 586-254-7280

Travel back in time with a visit to Erma's, a roadside stand (established 1942), where they sell premium soft-serve ice cream that differs from plain old ice cream in its high butterfat content and plenty of egg yolks. A dirt-covered parking lot surrounds the flat-roofed shack and the patio, where you can slurp the frozen custard concoctions – sundaes, floats, malts and shakes and custard puffs. One suggestion is the "Coconut Cream Pie Cone" dipped in dark chocolate and pecans. Erma's list of weekly flavors is online to help you plan your summer visits: ermacustard.com/specials.html.

Best Neighborhood Bakery
Mexicantown Bakery
4330 W. Vernor Hwy., Detroit; 313-554-0001

You only need a small amount of cash to walk away with a big bag full of Mexicantown Bakery's sweet breads, pastries and cookies. You really can buy dessert for the whole family for the price of one plate of flan from most nearby restaurants. They also offer more refined cakes and tarts, tamales, freshly baked buns and loaves of bread sometimes still steaming from the oven. A small, well-stocked grocery with Central and South American, Mexican and Caribbean specialties packs the other half of the store.

Best Desserts
Rattlesnake Club
300 River Place Dr., Detroit; 313-567-4400

When you think of the Rattlesnake Club, you often think of the rich interior, the padded tables, the water views, the fine-dining kitchen that turns out delectable entrées. But what about Rattlesnake's decadent house-made desserts? Perhaps our favorite is their artisan sorbet, three small scoops of flavor-packed sorbet, with flavors that rotate on a seasonal basis between passion fruit-cilantro, grapefruit-vanilla, wildberry and Amazonian rainforest-sourced cherry that's high in antioxidants. The scoops are perched atop a maple-leaf shaped tuille cookie, crisp and buttery, spiced with sesame seeds, poppy seeds and paprika and laid down atop a wildberry syrup. The whole thing gets sweetened with a dose of clear anise syrup. Then it's garnished with a mint leaf and adorned with a latticework of colorful spun sugar. Chef Jeffrey Lanctot says the $10 dessert has been on the menu since owner Jimmy Schmidt opened the club. It's that popular.

Best Local Music Festival
Movement
paxahau.com/movement

Last year's festival was a testament to the electronic vein that has run through Detroit for decades now. It was a return to form, a catapult for this May's throwdown. No other atmosphere is as authentic as Detroit for an international celebration of beats-per-minute, sound-wave tweaking and subsonic pounding. Not Berlin, not Ibiza, not New York. And if the official three-day beat bash on the Detroit River weren't already enough to make Movement Detroit's favorite music fest, the legendary afterparties that stretch well into the morning certainly are. Martha and the Vandellas sang "Dancing in the Street" in 1964. But watch as that old tune comes to life this and (hopefully) every Memorial Day weekend at Movement, Detroit's (and the world's!) premier electronic music party.

Best Place to See Local Theater
Ringwald/Who Wants Cake? Theatre
22742 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; 248-545-5545; whowantscaketheatre.com

Right now, at the Ringwald, the Who Wants Cake? Theater company is getting set to close Hurlyburly, a drama that looks at intersecting lives of B-rate Hollywood players of the '80s. It's all about the "decadent, perverted, cocaine culture as they pursue a sex-crazed, drug-addled vision of the American Dream." Coming next, Die! Mommie! Die! A dark comedy from the author of Vampire Lesbians of Sodom that features WWC's own Joe Bailey as the faded pop singer Angela Andrews. What an awesome gear change, eh? Hurlyburly was top-notch, affordable and zany; Vampire Lesbians promises to be the same. And if you missed either, you've yet to learn why the Ringwald is Detroit's favorite joint for locally produced theater.

Best Place Other Than a Bar to Meet Someone
Coffee shops

Innumerable respondents in this category obviously have a knack for gab, the easy come-on that means they can get a phone number after a conversation about root vegetables at Kroger's or in the 612.6s of libraries organized on the Dewey Decimal system (check it out). But a certain number of you gravitate to java huts as the preferred place to strike up a conversation. Other entries span the gamut from catholicmatch.com to salsa socials to Wings games. So it's all about your attitude.

Best website for hooking up
Facebook
facebook.com

The second-most popular website in the universe, and it's being used for hook-ups. We're shocked! Shocked!

Best Gamer Hangout
Pinball Pete's
1214 S. University Ave., Ann Arbor; 734-213-2502

A perennial winner, which beats out not only the similar physical hangouts, but all the votes for "some lonely basem*nt" and variations thereof. The latest games are one thing — the old-school, hands-on-flippers pinball machines anchor the place in tradition.

Best Way to Improve Belle Isle
Clean it up
fobi.org

A strong showing for charging a fee, for bringing back the aquarium or zoo, and scattered votes for everything from getting rid of tourists (now that's radical) to art installations. But for all of you who voted for a cleaner Belle Isle, you can put your gloves where your votes were: The Friends of Belle Isle have their annual spring cleanup effort 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. this Saturday, April 24. Bring boots, gloves and friends and meet at the casino. Snacks and refreshments are provided to finish your experience. (The Friends also sponsor regular events through the year to root out invasive plant species and preserve the island's diverse flora — and the fauna that eats it.)

Best Place for a Picnic
Belle Isle

Especially on the afternoon of April 24 when it's at its cleanest. See above. (By the way, Belle Isle so consistently and so completely smashes all competitors that we stopped asking for the best park.)

Best Bowling Alley
Garden Bowl
4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; 313-833-9700

Our bowling friends tell us Detroit is one of the great bowling cities in America, in fact, the bowling capital of the world, with a wealth of lanes. But the favorite or MT readers, again, is the place where the thump of a kick drum and howl of a guitar complement the clatter of pins being knocked down in the unique Majestic complex. Like the rest of the complex it has history: built in 1913, it's America's oldest active bowling center.

Best Beach
Metro Beach Metropark
31300 Metropolitan Parkway., Harrison Twp.; 586-463-4332

Located just east of I-94 in Harrison Township, this much-loved park is a 750-acre peninsula that juts into Lake St. Clair. Featuring more than seven miles of shoreline, 1,600 feet of boardwalk along the lake, and nature trails, there's a swimming pool as well as a beach. There are also sporting opportunities aplenty, with everything from volleyball and basketball to horseshoes, tennis, miniature golf and a par-3 golf course.

Best Eastern Market Vendor
R Hirt Jr.
2468 Market St., Detroit; 313-567-1173

From $300 wind chimes to oddball gewgaw toys, there's a lot to browse through on the third floor. The main attractions are the enormous collection of wicker baskets, etc., and the foodstuffs on the first, especially the cheeses galore, 300 or so varieties. You can ask for something obvious, but be ready to be asked, which of a myriad cheddars-bries-goat cheeses you want. We tend to try at least one item from the rotating weekly specials with each visit. We've never been disappointed.

Best Farmers' Market Other than Eastern
Royal Oak Farmers' Market
316 E. 11 Mile Rd., Royal Oak; 248-246-3276

For all you locavores, the locally grown fare comes by the bushel not far from the intersection of 11 Mile Road and Troy Street. An added bonus is that Superior Seafood is right across the street.

Best Hot Newscaster
Deena Centofanti

It's the eyes, isn't it? Centofanti, the 13-year veteran FOX2 weekend anchor and health reporter, just may have the best pair of large, dark limpid pools anywhere on the small screen. Her gleaming, celebrity-straight grill, cheerful yet smoky vocal tones and lyrical, '60s-foreign-film-star name don't hurt the total package either. A trim, enthusiastic, happily married mother of three, Centofanti has perfected the process of making local news health segments, well ... hot.

Best TV News
WDIV/Channel 4

Anchored by the well-respected duo of Carmen Harlan and Devin Scillian, and featuring seasoned crew of investigative reporters known as the "Local 4 Defenders," the newshounds at WDIV deliver the goods night after night.

Best Golf Course
Oakland Hills Country Club
3951 W. Maple Rd., Bloomfield Hills; 248-644-2500; oaklandhillscc.com

Founded in 1916, the Oakland Hills Country Club features two courses: the North and the South. Known as "The Monster," the South Course has been the site of 16 major championships. The prestigious U.S. Open has been held here six times. Among the famed players who have faced "The Monster" are Ben Hogan, Jack Nicklaus and Gary Player. It is regularly lauded as one of the best courses in the country.

Best Radio Music Show
Ann Delisi's Essential Music

Last year, the longtime local radio personality had barely gone on air at WDET-FM before running away with the category. Since then she's developed her Saturday-Sunday show into a new sort of radio, trading heavily on listener involvement (is there ever a between-songs break that doesn't mention Facebook or listeners' lists of "essential songs"?) and the local scene. She's clearly the franchise player in WDET's bid to rebuild its tattered rep as a music station — at least on the weekends.

Best Radio Morning Show
Dave & Chuck "The Freak"

Did they get fired or didn't they? 89X (CIMX-FM) alt-rock Windsor wildmen Dave Hunter and Chuck "The Freak" (must be French-Canadian) and their female foil Lisa Way generated headlines last summer when their on-air prank "Operation Dark Stall," revealing the bathroom habits of station co-workers, caused them to be yanked off the air. Whether they were fired then rehired, suspended and reinstated, or masterminds of a classic promotional stunt, l'affaire toilettes combined with their outrageous freeway billboard promos ("It's Friday, B!#¢hes!" being the most recent) have helped catapult their guys-look-at-life rants into the upper tier of "Did you hear what they said today?" morning shows. Congratulations, B!#¢hes.

Best Radio Personality
Dick Purtan

Long after the rise of the shock jocks, Dick Purtan stayed in the top rungs of the morning radio game. He and his crew were all about cracking wise, but they were more about the tickle than the hook 'n' jab. And then there was the comfort thing — the guy sounded like he was born in a cardigan. After 45 years on Detroit airwaves, he called it quits last month with a great farewell show that can heard at tinyurl.com/y8y6zwd.

Best Radio News
WWJ-AM

Another year in a row for the team that includes Joe Donovan, he of the glib segue, and his longtime morning foil, the delightful Roberta Jacina. The likes of Vicki Thomas, Jeff Gilbert, Murray Feldman, Tim Skubick and Sonny Eliot round out the team. If Sonny Eliot were writing this, he'd finish off with a grating but ingratiating portmanteau. But we won't even try to match his knack.

Best Local Activist
Grace Lee Boggs

Superlatives fail when it comes to describing the venerable Grace Lee Boggs. At the age of 94, the progressive writer, activist and political philosopher has taken part in virtually every major American social movement that occurred during the 20th century, from civil rights and the labor movement to women's rights and environmental justice. The daughter of Chinese immigrants, she and her late husband, James Boggs, founded the nonprofit Boggs Center in 1995 to "help grassroots activists develop themselves into visionary leaders and critical thinkers who can devise proactive strategies for rebuilding and respiriting our cities and rural communities from the ground up. ..." More than Detroit's premier local activist, she is a national treasure.

Best Newcomer to Detroit City Council
Charles Pugh

It didn't matter that the city's two daily newspapers withdrew their endorsem*nts of Pugh before last November's election after learning the depths of his financial problems. And it didn't matter that he was the first openly gay man seeking public office in Detroit. Voters embraced him, easily giving him enough votes to become the council's president. Since taking the gavel, he has been credited with helping lay to rest the embarrassment of the previous council by working with the other members to usher in a new era of civility and professionalism.

Best Dem for Governor
Andy Dillon

A 1980 grad of Detroit Catholic Central High School, Andy Dillon went on to earn degrees in law and accounting from the University of Notre Dame. After pursuing a career in law and then business, he entered politics in 2004, when he won election to the Michigan House. Elevated to the position of House speaker by his peers, the Redford resident is seen as an intellectual centrist. Handsome and charismatic, he bills himself as a candidate who can bridge the partisan divide.

Best Republican for Governor
Rick Snyder

Building the foundation of his campaign on the claim that he's "one tough nerd," the former president and chief operating officer of Gateway computers has all the credentials of a certified geek, including three degrees from the University of Michigan. A wealthy venture capitalist, he kicked off his campaign by spending more than $1 million of his own money on a 60-second Super Bowl commercial that served as his introduction to voters. Along with banking on the hope voters will embrace the whole nerd thing, Snyder is also portraying himself as the candidate best prepared to create jobs in a state wracked by unemployment.

Best Issue for Detroit's Leaders to Focus On
EDUCATION

Our readers nailed this one. With 10,000 people a year continuing to flee Detroit, one sure way to help reverse that trend and attract people with families — or want to start families — is to establish a world-class school system. To paraphrase a line from the movie Field of Dreams: Make it better, and they will come. Beyond that, as cliché as it may sound, our kids really are the future, and for it to have any chance of being a bright one, a good education is key.

Best Way to Improve Detroit Public Schools
KEEP ROBERT BOBB

He may be making lots of enemies as he tries to bring financial stability and sound academics to the struggling district, but our readers gave a thumbs up to Emergency Financial Manager Robert Bobb and his efforts to root out the corruption that has long plagued DPS and put the schools on a sound footing.

Best City Neighborhood to Find a Housing Deal
Woodbridge

According to one online site, the median sale price for a home in this lovely historic district not far from the city's cultural center is about $85,000. Featuring a number of stately brick Victorian homes, the triangle-shaped Woodbridge neighborhood has largely avoided the blight and abandonment that have plagued many other parts of the city. If you are looking to be a part of Detroit's (hoped-for) resurgence, our readers say this is a neighborhood that's definitely worth checking out.

Best Suburban Neighborhood to Find a Housing Deal
Ferndale

After reaching a high of nearly $140,000 in early 2006, the median sales price for a home in this inner-ring suburb dropped to nearly $60,000 last year. Prices have been climbing in recent months, but they are still below what they were a decade ago. With a lively downtown, a relatively young population, and an open attitude towards gays and lesbians (a gay mayor was elected in 2007), Ferndale has become hip and affordable.

Best Reason to Move to Detroit
AFFORDABLE HOUSIING

Our guess is that no other major city in America has as much affordable housing as Detroit. Having been hit hard by the foreclosure crisis, there are some neighborhoods where banks are practically giving places away. At one point last year, 1,800 homes in the city ere on the market with an asking price below $10,000. Hell, a new car will set you back more than that. Some money and even more time might need to be invested to fix the places up, but as far as housing deals go, we've never seen a market like this.

Best New Industry for Southeastern Michigan
FILM INDUSTRY

The overall economic benefits associated with the significant tax breaks the Michigan Legislature gave filmmakers in 2008 may be debatable, but our readers appear to have made up their minds: They'd like to see this region become the new Hollywood. Other top ideas included capitalizing on the legalization of medical marijuana and tapping into the growing need for environmentally friendly technologies. Or maybe somebody combines all three and comes here to start filming Harold & Kumar Open A Cass Corridor Wind Farm.

Best Local Athlete & Best Tiger
Justin Verlander

Winning 19 games last year, Verlander had the league's fastest pitch, averaging an intense 95.5 mph. Oh, yeah, he's also the only pitcher in baseball history to toss a no-hitter, start a World Series game, be a Rookie of the Year and an All-Star in his first two full seasons. And Detroit has him.

Best Red Wing
Pavel DatsyUk

So the Frank J. Selke Trophy is awarded annually to the National Hockey League forward who "demonstrates the most skill in the defensive component of the game." Last year, as the year before, that man was none other than Red Wings all-star wunderkind Pavel Datsyuk. Ridiculous on a pair of skates, he's everything a complete forward should be — fast, tough, smart. Perhaps even more telling, Datsyuk has also been the recipient of the Lady Byng Memorial Trophy — "awarded to the player adjudged to have exhibited the best type of sportsmanship and gentlemanly conduct combined with a high standard of playing ability" — four years running, equaling the league record.

Best Piston
Richard "Rip" Hamilton

He's the masked avenger, the veteran guard, the three-time all-star team captain, a player regarded as the most conditioned player in the league. When healthy, he's one of the most reliable players the Pistons have. And he's your favorite Piston for 2010 (Sorry, Jerebko, maybe next year). Many think he'll be traded this off-season, but Detroit will never forget the tenacity, consistency and champion spirit that Rip brought to the team, including the 2004 national championship squad. No matter what, he'll always be a Piston.

Best Lion
Matthew Stafford

It isn't just that Matt Stafford beat out his teammates. What's most significant is that he edged out last year's winner, which would be variations on "LOL" and "none of them" and "you've got to be kidding me." Could it be a sign that better days are ahead? The 22-year-old stud rookie quarterback from Georgia was the first overall pick in the 2009 NFL draft, and though his touchdown-to-interception ratio his first year in the league was 13-20, though he only threw for 2,267 yards and posted a QB rating of 61, he showed promise of what's to come. On Nov. 22, 2009, Stafford threw five touchdowns in a 38-37 win over the Cleveland Browns, becoming the youngest quarterback ever to do so, being more than a year younger than the former record holder Dan Marino. Throwing a rookie record 422 yards, Stafford's most memorable throw to date, the one he stole our hearts with, came when Stafford threw a touchdown pass as time expired with a shoulder he had separated on the previous play. That's badass.

Best Local Comic
Tim Allen

Not sure how "local" Tim can be considered these days, but the former Home Improvement star (grew up largely in Birmingham; WMU graduate) did first make his mark doing standup in the Detroit comedy clubs back in the day. True, he's been the voice of Michigan tourism in the Midwest. Maybe the new film-making incentives will get him back here for a hot minute. (See Best New Industry for Southeastern Michigan.)

Best Local Rock Artist or Group & Artist from Detroit Who Best Represents Us to the World
Kid Rock

He fills stadiums. Sells tons of records. But, really?

Best Local Hip-Hop Artist or Group
United States of Mind
usmdetroit.com

New York has Wu-Tang Clan. Detroit has United States of Mind. The 10-man collective of serious hip-hop heads boasts some premier microphone maniacs, such as D. Allie, Metasyons and Asylum 7, as well as some of the city's more interesting underground producers, like Crate Digga and Sleepy Biggs. On May 7 USM leaves for its first North American tour to promote what Detroit hip-hop is all about. The group's homecoming show is June 18, and you'll be there, right? Right.

Best Local Jazz Artist or Group
Kem

A smooth jazz, old-school jazz R&B man to most of the straight-up jazz fans who voted for Hot Club of Detroit, Faruq Z. Bey and others, Kem outpolled 'em all. Upfront about his back story — overcoming homeless and addiction, making it against long odds — Kem's motivational speaking makes him more than just a musician.

Best Local country Artist or Group
Whitey Morgan & the 78's

At the forefront of the D-Town country-rock renaissance, MT has said that Whitey and his crew — who released an album on the mostly metal Small Stone last year — and their modern take on country are "as emotion-stirring and wildly exciting as anything heard in rock 'n' roll lately."

Best Local Folk Artist or Group
Blackthorn

This traditional Irish quartet performs everything from sea shanties and lively jigs to some of Ireland's best contemporary songs. For years, they were a fixture on J.P. McCarthy's annual St. Patrick's Day show on WJR radio — and they continue that tradition these days on The Paul W. Smith Show.

Local Artist or Group with Best Chance of Going National
Odayin

Although the name sounds like metal all the way, this Harper Woods band — which takes its name from the Ojibwe name for "heart" — describes its music as both "progressive" and "alternative" ... an interesting combination.

Best Local College
Wayne State University

Apropos this well-deserved award, we're renewing our contest of last year. A Grizzly, a Titan, a Warrior and Wolverine walk into a bar. The best punch line sent to [emailprotected] by Thursday at 5 p.m. gets a pair of tickets to the Best of Detroit party. Put "local college punch line" in the subject field. And remember, this year, the Warrior has to come out on top.

Best Abandoned Building to save
MICHIGAN CENTRAL TRAIN STATION

Actually, the place hasn't been abvandoned. It may be a vacant eyesore, but it still has an owner. His name is Manuel "Matty" Moroun, one of the richest men in the world. So here's the message Matty: Our readers want you to put some of your billions to good use and fix up the property that you own.

Best abandoned building to demolish
MICHIGAN CENTRAL STATION

And if you aren't going to fix it up (like we hope) then at least have the decency to tear it down so that we don't have this empty hulk standing as a monument to urban decay.

Best Film Shot in Detroit
Gran Torino

Ostensibly set in Detroit, most of this movie that Clint Eastwood produced, directed and starred in was actually filmed in Highland Park. We say that's close enough. Other area locales included Center Line, Warren, Grosse Pointe Park, Royal Oak — and the D itself. Eastwood plays Walt Kowalski, a retired Ford assembly line worker who is recently widowed. He's having a hard time adjusting to the influx of Hmong immigrants that has changed the nature of his neighborhood, formerly a white enclave. The New York Times called it a "a sleek, muscle car of a movie made in the U.S.A., in that industrial graveyard called Detroit." Thanks for the boost there, NYT.

Best book about Detroit
Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

There's a burgeoning shelf of quality history, sociology and all about the city, plenty of poetry, and a tsunami of music. But novels? Outside of our powerful genre fiction — Donald Goines to Elmore Leonard — not an awful lot. Maybe that's part of our problem, we haven't sufficiently imagined ourselves yet. Which brings us to Jeffrey Eugenides' two imaginistic gems, The Virgin Suicides (1993) and, moreover, Middlesex (2002). A multi-generational, gender-bending comic epic, with the D as a main backdrop, Middlesex has been been hailed as one of the novels of the decade by critics, book clubbed by Oprah, and now endorsed by a landslide in the MT readers poll.

Best Source of Under-the-Table Cash While Unemployed
BABYSITTING

Apparently, with the way things are in this economy, watching other people's kids isn't just for teenage girls anymore. Other popular ideas floated by our readers included: selling weed (just don't combine that with the babysitting, please), and selling anything of value you still have on e-bay or Craigslist. You can also get yourself a mower and start cutting lawns, or keep a sharp eye out for pop cans and bottles alongside the road. And that extra blood flowing through your veins — sell it now.

Best Theme Song for Detroit
"Hello, Detroit," Sammy Davis Jr.

Motown met the Rat Packer in 1984 and gave us our answer to "New York, New York." Everybody sing along: "On a stroll through Belle Isle Park / Greektown after dark / You instill in the young, the will to become / stars and champions." Sing it, Sammy!

Best place to see the beauty of pre-Detroit Detroit
Elmwood Cemetery
1200 Elmwood, Detroit
313-567-3453

What did Detroit’s hilly landscape look like when Cadillac arrived in 1701? The closest glimpse remaining of pre-colonial Detroit is Elmwood Cemetery, where burial plots and roads have largely observed the original topography (such as the cemetery pond, where Chief Pontiac and the redcoats got it on in 1763 for the Battle of Bloody Run). Those burial plots, of course, are also a major reason for visiting the cemetery even if you have no relatives in residence. Canfields, Joys, Lodges, Woodbridges, Buhls and other names out of city history dot the landscape. Some 29 former mayors are there — beyond applause and recall petitions — including Coleman A. Young.

Best place in the city to get away
Behind the Lighthouse at Belle Isle
Detroit

In the Motor City, it’s just about impossible to get away from the relentless heartbeat of the internal combustion engine. Belle Isle, as readers have told us year after year in Best of Detroit polls, is as good as it gets when it comes to getting away. (Not that the roadways of the island itself aren’t gridlocked on some summer weekends.) But after many hours surveying the island, we’re sure we’ve found the best get-away spot on the get-away island park, the spot of secret solace for those in search of tranquility. A path behind the abandoned hot dog stand on the island’s eastern end winds out past the lighthouse. There, by a spit of wooded land, you can sit on chunks of broken concrete and pretend you’re somewhere far away.

Best place to see that politics ain’t pretty
Detroit City Council
Coleman A. Young Municipal Center
Detroit

Former Detroit City Council member Clyde Cleveland used to greet visitors to council chambers by citing the late German leader Otto von Bismark: To enjoy laws or sausages, don’t watch them being made. The attribution to Bismark may be apocryphal, but the council regularly lives up to the aphorism. On more than one occasion, Council members Kay Everett and Sharon McPhail have threatened to pummel each other. Council members Sheila co*ckrel regularly opposes everything Council President Maryann Mahaffey proposes. And JoAnn Watson apparently has no regard for the separation of church and state as she regularly hails, “Amen!” Sessions begin weekdays at 10 a.m. on the 11th Floor of the municipal center. Who knows, you may drop by to hear members challenging one another to duke it out, accusations the mayor is trying to electrocute them — or maybe even a serious discussion of issues.

Best political slogan to adopt
“Do you know who the f*ck I am?”

Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick’s chief of staff and longtime chum Christine Beatty allegedly greeted two Detroit police officers with this warm query when they pulled her over for speeding earlier this year. Considering the enormous amount of publicity the question brought Beatty and her boss, it would be wise for the mayor to adopt it as his own political slogan. It’s succinct, unforgettable and sure to make headlines. As they say, there is no such thing as bad press.

Best morning spot to spot Detroit’s movers and shakers
Atlas Global Bistro
3111 Woodward Ave., Detroit
313-831-2241

The Bistro not only serves a fabulous breakfast for a steal, but provides a quiet, elegant space for muck-a-mucks to powwow. Detroit Medical Center CEO Michael Duggan (formerly Wayne County prosecutor) was seen with a couple cohorts this past summer. The sharply dressed Detroit Police Commissioner Arthur Blackwell II had a corner table a month or so ago. Around that same time, midtown developer Bob Slattery ate with a hip-looking woman. Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick appeared relaxed in a T-shirt and baseball cap on a Saturday morning this past spring. If you want to rub elbows with big city cheeses, get here early.

Best place for good deeds and doughnuts
Dutch Girl Donuts
19000 Woodward Ave., Detroit

Was former Dem Party mover-and-shaker Melvin Butch Hollowell helping a woman in distress (his version)? Or was he engaged in a cash-and-carry dalliance with a hooker (version of said hooker as relayed by Wayne County Sheriff’s deputies who pulled them over)? We don’t know. But we feel obliged to note that Dutch Girl Donuts, where the couple-in-the-news apparently hooked up, is toughing it out on a stretch of Woodward Avenue just below Seven Mile Road that needs good deeds indeed. We especially recommend the old-fashioned glazed doughnuts — and the experience peering through bulletproof glass in the morning’s wee hours to watch the delectables being made.

Best 50¢ amusem*nt ride/urban tragedy
The People Mover
Downtown Detroit

Once upon a time, in the age of Coleman Young, it was prophesied that southeast Michigan would have mass transit, a light-rail system from Pontiac to downtown Detroit. And on arrival at the city on the river, riders would traverse the downtown on a little loop of rail. But it did not come to pass, and, lo, that promise would be dashed — and only the tiny loop would be built as a taunting reminder of what might have been. And parents would discover it as a convenient entertainment for small children, who are quite content to go round and round in circles — by ruins and mighty buildings, through a tunnel and along the river — without being saddened by the promise failed.

Best way to revitalize Southeast Michigan
Light rail

Not that the mass transit story needs to end with the People Mover. There are still good arguments for building light-rail lines running out from Detroit to Washtenaw, Oakland and Macomb counties. It would take great political will, but it would cut the time we spend sitting in traffic jams, reduce air pollution and produce huge savings by curtailing highway construction and expansion. It is way past time for Detroit to join the rest of America’s major metropolitan areas and produce a public transportation system that is suitable for the 21st century.

Best custom to eliminate
Cruises

We know that we’ll be pilloried for suggesting this — car culture is southeast Michigan’s lifeblood, after all — but it needs to be said nonetheless: Stop the damn cruises. It may have escaped your attention, but American soldiers are dying daily as they fight to keep (relatively) cheap oil flowing from the Middle East, and what do we do? And is anyone paying attention to the glacial meltdown being caused by global warming? Instead of conserving — remember World War II and rationing? — we guzzle away, burning up countless gallons, preening in our muscle cars, those big V-8s chugging down gas faster than you can say energy crisis.

Best reason to swell with pride
Pistons

Coach Larry Brown and crew won it all, making it look easy as they crushed Los Angeles to take the NBA championship and revive Detroit’s b-ball glory days. The Lakers — stuffed with future Hall of Famers — were no match for a team that, well, played as a team and not a collection of all-stars. Now, let’s do it again.

Best way to spend a leisurely Saturday outdoors in early fall
Franklin Cider Mill
7450 Franklin Road, Franklin
248-626-2968

A national historic site built in 1832, Franklin Cider Mill is a fall tradition to many Detroiters. Weekends, in particular, draw everything from college-football-jersey-wearing types to dog-walkers to scenesters out for a stroll to the dentures crowd. Fresh apple cider — warm or cold — is the main attraction, but the mill also offers tasty baked cinnamon donuts, beef snack sausage, caramel apples and jarred, homemade spreads. Plus, the old apple press gives regular demonstrations of how cider is made. Open late August through November.

Best place for a bookworm to enjoy spring
The Burton Collection
Main Branch — Detroit Public Library
5201 Woodward Ave., Detroit

With the trees on the grounds of the library coming into blossom, you can sit in heated comfort before the tall windows of the Burton Collection’s reading room. While reading your book of choice, you can take breaks from the lines of text to rest your eyes outside on an inviting greensward within the city. Watch the trees fluttering with their first green, their limbs reaching out with unfolding petals against a backdrop of soft, cloudy skies — and thank God that you’re a nerd.

Best outdoor gathering for Christmas carols and hot chocolate
Noel Night at the Detroit Cultural Center
Approximately 6 to 10 p.m., traditionally held on the first Saturday in December

Detroit’s last regularly scheduled outdoor festival of every year, “Noel Night” began in 1975 and became one of the city’s most treasured holiday traditions. A sort of pre-Christmas celebration organized by the University Cultural Center Association, the event also incorporates elements of Kwanzaa and Hanukkah for all ages and ethnicities to learn about and appreciate. The Detroit Library’s Main Branch, the Detroit Institute of Arts, the Charles H. Wright Museum of African American History and many other surrounding cultural institutions, churches and businesses keep their doors open after hours, as participants wander between storytelling, music, dance, food and gift vendors. The highlight is a sing-along of Christmas favorites, led by the Salvation Army on Woodward Avenue near Warren Avenue.

Best artistic representation of Motown’s productive id
“Detroit Industry” by Diego Rivera
Detroit Institute of Arts
5200 Woodward Ave., Detroit
313-833-7900

Arguably the single most important artwork in or about Detroit, Rivera’s epic mural cycle, installed in what was once the Garden Court of the Detroit Institute of Arts, depicts Henry Ford’s moving assembly line as a colossal machine for harvesting surplus value from mass labor power. Executed between 1932 and 1933 at the height of the Great Depression, the murals speak directly to the city’s collective unconscious, encapsulating the social, political and economic conditions of the age of mechanical reproduction in which Detroit figures prominently. The definitive take on Rivera’s masterpiece has yet to be written, but Terry Smith’s reading in Making the Modern: Industry, Art and Design in America (University of Chicago) is a damn good start.

Best public artwork the public can actually use
“Hip and Spine (Stone Chair Setting)” by Richard Nonas
Kirby Street (between Woodward Avenue and John R), Detroit

This 1997 work by the noted New York sculptor is an arrangement of massive rough-hewn granite blocks, formed into a seating and table area that evokes the primal circles of tribal gatherings. Installed outside the Kirby entrance of the Detroit Institute of Arts, “Hip and Spine” makes the idea of human community a reality, rendering viewers simultaneously as audience and functional users. The piece really comes alive during events like the Detroit Festival of the Arts. That’s when you’ll see people meeting, eating and greeting against a backdrop of musical performances on the stage nearby.

Best public-art reminder of a public that’s no longer there
“Victory and Progress” by John Massey Rhind
Old Wayne County Building, 600 Randolph (Cadillac Square, corner of Congress), Detroit

Perched atop the Beaux-Arts-style Wayne County Building on Randolph St. at Cadillac Square, these two bronze statue groups feature youthful male figures leading horse-drawn chariots, which in turn carry female allegorical figures dressed in flowing robes. They are among the oldest public sculptures on view in Detroit and they exhibit the sumptuous jade patina of more than a century’s passing. Created between 1898 and 1902, the sculptures represent a time of visionary expansion in Detroit, when the city was emerging as ground zero for the utopia of modern industrial production. Rhind, a Paris-educated, New York-based sculptor, was a leading figure in public art during the Progressive Era; his “Victory and Progress” embodies the period’s civic ideals which these days have been largely forgotten.

Best contemporary curator of Detroit art
Dick Goody
Meadow Brook Art Gallery
Oakland University, 208 Wilson Hall, Rochester
248-370-3005
www.oakland.edu/mbag

Very quietly over the past few years Dick Goody has worked diligently to document some of the best art and artists that Detroit has to offer with a series of outstanding exhibitions and accompanying catalogs. The catalogs are especially important. Profusely illustrated and featuring critical essays and artist interviews, they constitute an archive that will be invaluable for collectors and historians in times to come. Goody, a British-expat painter and director of Meadow Brook Gallery on the campus of Oakland University, was the prime mover in 2003’s “Detroit Now” exhibit of talented city artists; he’s also offered insightful surveys of artists like Ted Lee Hadfield, Wendy MacGaw, Stephen Magsig and Peter Williams. Last year’s show and catalog of work by sculptor Sharon Que was exemplary. The current exhibition of paintings by Deborah Sukenic keeps the winning streak going. Cheers to this “outsider” coming in, boning up fast and doing the dirty work that has long been needed in this town.

Best place to synergize your tastes for art and food
Cass Cafe
4620 Cass Ave., Detroit
313-831-1400

Real bohemians hang out downtown. Some artists go to Cass Cafe to break bread and others to make a little by working the joint. The food is good enough and reasonably priced, but the real reason to come is to catch up on the local art scene. As opposed to Starbuck’s, Cass Cafe serves alcohol, and there’s always someone around to argue aesthetics with. Or, you could simply kick back and check out the latest work on the walls, often done by well-known names from the Detroit art world.

Best place to hear jazz by the river for free
Mt. Elliott Park
Foot of Mt. Elliott, south of Jefferson, Detroit

Located exactly where Mt. Elliott would fall into the river if it stretched that far, Mt. Elliott Park is a relatively new park (not much more than three years old) that offers one of the coolest venues to hear live blues and jazz outdoors throughout the summer months every Thursday evening. Sponsored by the City of Detroit’s Parks and Recreation Department, these free shows have drawn a loyal, and regular, following of music lovers who faithfully bring along their lawn chairs, blankets, coolers, and appreciative cheers. The sound system leaves something to be desired, but with the river serving as a beautiful backdrop, this is still a great time and makes for a nice after-work hang. And with the future of the Ford Detroit Jazz Festival in doubt — at least as it’s been known on Hart Plaza — this may be the best opportunity for free swinging on the riverside come 2005.

Best place to hear live music by the Detroit River
Chene Park auditorium
2600 E. Atwater, Detroit

From the Concert of Colors to the UniverSoul Circus, Detroit’s Chene Park is home to Detroit’s biggest annual entertainment events. There’s just nothing like watching a concert on the steps of the outdoor theater — the backdrop to the stage is the beautiful Detroit River, and visitors sit along the river under trees. Performers ranging from adult contemporary vocalist Will Downing to R&B heartthrob D’Angelo have drawn boaters who sail out behind the outdoor stage, hoping to catch a tune floating up toward the night sky. Those unable to get tickets for chair or lawn seating will even camp out in their vehicles on the street or in nearby parking lots. And recent upgrades to the sound system have made a marked difference.

Best one-stop date for dinner and a movie
Uptown Palladium theater’s Premiere Entertainment Auditorium
250 N. Old Woodward, Birmingham
248-723-6240

While known for its extravagant facade, spacious multi-level screening rooms and plush theater seats, the Uptown Palladium 12 has a weekly highlight for the most dedicated meal-and-movie fan. The Premiere Entertainment Auditorium hosts patrons who seek a little more than candy and hot dogs. The special dinner package includes a gourmet buffet meal (with a menu that changes weekly), coat check, designated seating and unlimited servings of popcorn and soda, along with the special featured film. The Premiere Entertainment Auditorium experience makes for a convenient, comfortable afternoon or night out.

Best same-day marriages
“I Do” Weddings
Bloomfield Hills
800-964-0303 • [emailprotected]

Can’t wait to get hitched? The Rev. Wayne Anderoos, a nondemoninational minister, says if you call him in the morning, he’ll meet you in the afternoon — pick a place: a beach, a park, your mom’s backyard — and perform a civil or religious wedding ceremony for you and your betrothed. This officiating service, based in Bloomfield Hills, promises to help you to say “I Do” in any Detroit-area location.

Best time for self-indulgence
National Masturbation Month
May

Just as charity begins at home, surely indulgence begins with the self. We suspect the 10th anniversary of this event will finally put it on the map, making slogans like “Come for a cause” as popular as they deserve to be. The whole thing started at the San Francisco company Good Vibrations (you can guess what they sell), where folks were taken aback by the sacking of former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders for saying that masturbation should be discussed as part of young people’s sex education. “It’s safe, it’s healthy, it’s free, it’s pleasurable and it helps people get to know their bodies and their sexual responses,” as the GV folks put it on their Web site. Doesn’t metro Detroit need a masturbat*-a-thon, or maybe a parade with Elders waving from an appropriate float?

Best gay youth outreach program
The Ruth Ellis Center Drop-In Center
16501 Woodward Ave., Highland Park
313-867-6936

By one estimate, there are about 5,000 homeless LGBTQ (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgendered and Questioning) youth roaming the harsh streets of Detroit, and this is their haven. Headed by Executive Director Grace McClelland, the center feeds, clothes, educates, nurtures and provides shelter for kids who have been discarded by their families and mainstream social service agencies. This nonprofit runs both a drop-off center, where kids can come in to get off the streets — if just for a few hours — and a residential program that gears youth to become independent, productive members of society.

Best entertainment train
Michigan Star Clipper Dinner Train
840 N. Pontiac Trail, Walled Lake
248-960-9440

Got a party, luncheon or just a get-together of some old friends coming up? Try the Clipper. The 3-hour journey offers some mighty fine grubbing, fine wines and some great entertainment, which includes hilarious murder mysteries, comedy weddings, smooth jazz stylings and music revues from the 1950s and 1960s. This creative concept offers an elegant atmosphere. The Clipper operates on the Coe railroad, located on Pontiac Trail, and reservations are a must.

Best hood getaway
Le Cafethé House of Gifts and Restaurant/Les Soeurs Maison Inc. Bed & Breakfast
Le Cafethé House of Gifts and Restaurant
2445 and 2449 W. Grand Blvd.
313-897-7813 and 313-895-7814

Heaven’s in the hood now. Lorna Page created it, along with her mother Allene, and sisters Lenice Okey and Bonita Brown. The group purchased two neighboring Victorian homes near Northwestern High School three years ago, converted them, and gave each a very long name, Les Soeurs Maison Inc. Bed & Breakfast, and the quaint Le Cafethe’ House of Gifts and Restaurant. But “heaven” works for us. The five-room bed & breakfast is a great place for Detroiters seeking an overnight respite from the workforce, or the family. You get a room without a telephone, your own robe and slippers, a Jacuzzi in your room, and a home-cooked meal delivered to your room, or served community-style in the dining quarters. For a full menu, walk next door and enjoy a selection of salads, entrées and appetizers. Good food, good service, good sleep.

Best garden with a view
Grosse Pointe War Memorial
32 Lake Shore Road, Grosse Pointe

If you have a green thumb or appreciate those who do, take a stroll through the War Memorial gardens, with their sweeping view of Lake St. Clair. The flower pots and patches of soil, packed with coralbells, purple fennel, rosebushes, cosmos, pansies, impatiens, and other assorted blooms, are set off by the rippling blue water. A morning visit will calm and sustain you for the day.

Best retro hangout on the east side
1417 The Village
1417 Van Dyke
313-579-1009

What feels like a sugar shack, smells like fresh coffee and dresses customers with more flava than licorice? Answer: 1417 The Village. We’re not exactly sure what kind of place it is, but it feels good just being there. A converted house nestled in Detroit’s West Village (an East Side neighborhood), many patrons stop by to visit, and happen to shop while there. Owners Kizzi Martin, Nuah Stanley and Najiyyah Sharpe provide coffee and smoothies free of charge while folks relax, listen to music and make conversation. Meanwhile, Martin operates Kizzi’s Kloset, a vintage clothing store, in a back bedroom-turned-boutique. Occasional entertainment is provided on the back patio, but good vibes are served up consistently.

Best place to recite your poetry for the first time
Camillian Café
300 Monroe St., Detroit
313-964-4185

You wanna “spit” your most cherished written work, but you’re afraid of rejection. Bring it to the Camillian Café, where everybody welcomes you with a smile, a handshake and an invitation to share. Cassie Poe hosts the intimate gathering of bards and bardwatchers at this small, intimate space on the edge of Greektown every Thursday. There are great sandwiches and tea assortments to enjoy, and some of the city’s most exciting spoken word artists consider the place their creative home.

Best place to hear poets at the top of their game
The Unopen Mic
25849 Lahser Road, Southfield
248-945-9464

The poets who come through the Unopen Mic are so polished they can only be invited. Started in 2003 by Ben Jones and Metro Times freelancer Kahn Davison, it’s one of the few poetry venues that goes so far as to fly poets in from out of town, put them up and pay them. This effort should be applauded by anyone remotely familiar with how broke poets can be. Faces on the stage have included Brooklynite Talaam Acey, Def Poetry alum Michael Ellison and Funk Brother Joe Hunter. Upstarts like Versiz, who also recently released his first rap album, Organic Weapon, have also brought their fiery prose to the stage.

Best place to have your poetry publicly critiqued
Broadside Poets Theater at Le Cafethé
2445 W. Grand Blvd., Detroit
313-897-7813

On the third Sunday of each month, Le Cafethé is the place to be for poets and poet wannabes looking to get the hard line on their work. Hosted by longtime Broadside member Willie Williams, this workshop will slice, dice and chop up what you thought was a masterpiece, and piece it back together according to the official rules of the scribes. You, then, can stick around for the open mic, which follows, or go home and decide whether or not you want to write according to their rules. Or your own. Keep in mind, some of your critics are published by Broadside Press, so they might know what they’re talking about.

Best way to know the rhyme scheme of things
Springfed Arts-Metro Detroit Writers
detroitpoetrynow.org

With M.L. Liebler and Mary Ann Wehler at the helm — director and assistant director respectively — this group takes up where the old Writers Voice office of the Detroit YMCA left off. This is a center of gravity, creative vortex and central clearinghouse for poetic doings in metro Detroit and beyond. Whether you’re looking for classes and workshops or you’re wondering who’s looking for manuscripts or you want to know where the readings are happening — these are the folks to be in touch with.

Best way to relive (and maybe revive) the ’60s
The 40th anniversary of the Detroit Artists Workshop
Various locations
detroitartistsworkshop.org

Think of the the Detroit Artists Workshop as ground zero for the Detroit counterculture, with its shock wave radiating from the Cass Corridor and through the region, and its echoes being heard down the years. Jazz and rock, poetry and visual arts, politics and lifestyles were all rattled by the collective of artists who signed onto a 1964 manifesto written by (of course) John Sinclair. With concerts, art gallery shows, talks and poetry readings, the survivors of the era will return to the area beginning at the end of October and continuing through November. Poster artists Mark Arminski, Gary Grimshaw and Carl Lundgren will show their works; national poets Ed Sanders and Amiri Baraka will hook up with their Detroit counterparts. The events kick off Saturday, Oct. 30, with the opening of an exhibition of photography (by Leni Sinclair and Emil Bacilla) at Book Beat in Oak Park.

Best place to get in touch with the city’s past
Detroit Historical Museum
5401 Woodward Ave., Detroit
313-833-1805

Ever wonder what it would be like to walk down Woodward 100 years before Comerica Park was built? Or what the heck a cobblestone street looks like? The Detroit Historical Museum answers these questions and many more. Offering free guided tours on weekends and many permanent exhibits for public viewing during all hours of operation, at least one visit to the museum should be a mandatory requirement for Detroit residents. Exhibits include 19th century store and auto assembly line replicas. There’s also a pilot house from a Great Lakes freighter and a 1700s fur trading post. Photographs help tell the city’s story. The book and souvenir shop lets visitors take home memories of yesteryear. Open Tuesday through Friday, 9:30 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Saturday, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Sunday, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Best piece of the city’s past to tear down
The Eight Mile and Woodward Underpass/Bridge
Detroit-Ferndale

Impatient, horn-pounding motorists will shriek that we need this monstrosity to facilitate nonstop traffic, but is ensuring that motorists never stop for a red light worth the price of obstructing pedestrian and bicycle traffic at what could be a vital intersection? This obstacle may save time for a leadfoot in a pickup, but makes a walk from pedestrian-friendly Ferndale to the State Fairgrounds dangerous and dispiriting. It emphasizes the divide of city and suburbs, the triumph of concrete over citizens. Long a shelter for purse-twirling hookers and the homeless, it’s time this decaying abomination were leveled. Of course, the Michigan Department of Transportation is moving ahead to spend millions to upgrade the overpass rather than toppling it. We’re still rooting for common sense and the project’s opponents.

Best place to see Bauhaus housing
Lafayette Park
Detroit

Lafayette Park, initially built between 1955 and 1963, has the world’s largest collection of buildings designed by Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, architectural giant and the last director of the famed German design school before the Nazis shut it down in 1933. The 26 Mies van der Rohes include the Pavillion and Lafayette Towers apartments and the park’s townhouses. After a fight by residents and preservationists, plans underway to refurbish the mall shopping center and add new townhouses have to comply with a historic district review and preserve the district’s character.

Best place for aquatic adventure without getting wet
Belle Isle Aquarium
Belle Isle Park, Detroit
313-852-4141

Built in 1904, the aquarium on Belle Isle is the oldest public aquarium in North America, featuring 1,500 individual animals and 146 species. Many of the water dwellers are endangered, threatened or extinct in the wild. Some, however, are more common local fish, including trout, bass, pike, perch and walleye. There are also freshwater stingrays, Bambu Sharks and any number of goldfish. The electric eel is a crowd favorite. The place is a little dingy and hardly the innovative show-and-tell palace that wowed the nation a century ago. In fact, the city has slated it for closing because of low attendance. So go before the aquarium itself is extinct. It’s oh-so-Detroit. Open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily.

Best alternative to corporate health clubs
Punk Fitness
punkfitnessdetroit.com

Sick of gym memberships that break your bank? Tired of the tanned and shallow masses that populate them? Fed up with that awful Top 40 sh*t they play? Then Punk Fitness is your salvation! Instructor Julie Hecker is a certified full-time aerobics instructor and an old-school Detroit punk rock gal. Her Punk Fitness class melds cardio and resistance training with the likes of the Sex Pistols, AC/DC, the Clash, and Iggy. Plus, it’s interactive: Hecker creates the set list from her Ipod, so show up early and pick the songs yourself. Hecker is also a devoted fan and supporter of local music, and you’ll find selections from the Hentchmen, Broadzilla, KO and the Knockouts, Nice Device, Haf/life, and the Mydols (who occasionally show up at class!) on her music list. Each hour-and-a-half class is a mere $5, and happens every Tuesday, alternating between the Belmont and Small’s in Hamtramck. Swearing is encouraged! And so is sticking around and having a beer after class! How cool is that?

Best place to confront dentophobia
Sindecuse Museum of Dentistry
Within the Kellogg Building of the University of Michigan School of Dentistry
1011 N. University, Ann Arbor
734-763-0767

Creeped out by the thought of that little drill whirring away at your teeth, and the image of your dentist leaning over you, his protective goggles flecked with tooth chips? Well, be thankful for modern technology. If you want to see the lower-tech alternatives, check out the Sindecuse Museum of Dentistry at the University of Michigan. That’s where you can contemplate, for instance, the good ol’ days of the 1800s when tin foil was used for fillings and when dental instruments – by today’s standards — looked like they should have been used for woodworking. Closed Sundays.

Best news for indie film buffs’ butts
New seats for the Detroit Film Theatre
Inside the DIA, 5200 Woodward Ave.
313-833-7900 •dia.org/dft

This expansive, lush auditorium attached to the DIA first opened its doors in 1927, playing host to all manner of lectures, film series, and performances. The Detroit Film Theatre program is now 30 years and counting, making it the oldest fSend comments to [emailprotected]

Best café pizza — Windsor
Terra Cotta
318 Pelissier St., Windsor
519-971-0223

As the glorious smell of roasting pizza wafts out the door and into the street, pizza chefs behind a window flip dough and select from fresh toppings and veggies — often organic and grown by the owner — to throw onto a thin crust made from semolina flour, olive oil and water. The dough and sauce are homemade, the recipes handed down from the establishment’s previous Italian owners; the sauce is a rare and perfect mix of sweet and savory necessary for fine pizza sauce. The pies indeed are wholesome, but carry the flavor and texture — crispy crust, hot gooey cheese and toppings with a bite — of the Old-World pizza you’ll find in Europe and in some spots in New York City and New Haven, Conn. The place is small and very charming with little tables covered with tacky plastic tablecloths and candles. The joint is run by a brother-sister team Greg and Dina Gnyp who are as sweet as their pizza sauce. They wait on the tables — quite a challenging job on Tuesdays when Terra Cotta packs up for a two-for-one pizza deal (at $7-$12 Canadian for a pie, what a steal!). You might have to wait 20 minutes but it’s worth it. Try the Quattro Stagioni, divided into four sections, each with a different topping. The salads are great and you can drink wine and beer and specialty sodas. Don’t miss the homemade hot-sauce-for-pizza. To die for.

Best pizza — Detroit area
Tomatoes Apizza
29275 W. 14 Mile Road, Farmington Hills
248-855-3555
24369 Halstead Road, Farmington Hills
248-888-4888

Add a Culinary Institute of America graduate who apprenticed at a legendary New Haven, Conn., pizzeria to the secret recipe and you get the best pizza in town. Thin crust, garlicky, well-seasoned tomato sauce, a sprinkling of Pecorino Romano and some fresh basil is what you’ll get in the classic Margarita — Naples’ simplest and finest. They call it red pie here. Order half red, half white (sauceless), with fresh tomatoes and lots of garlic and basil. Pizza heaven.

Best restaurant pizza — Windsor
La Zingara Pizzeria
555 Erie St. E., Windsor
519-258-7555

The pizza at La Zingara’s is the real deal: thin-crusted beauties simply topped with a delectable sauce and delicate toppings. Choices include a pizza of olive oil, black pepper and rosemary; another is the Maremonte, topped with garlic, parsley, shrimp and mushrooms. Though the pizza is divine, some come to La Zingara’s for the quail or trout that roasts in the wood-burning pizza oven sitting at the back of the dining room, filling the restaurant with mouthwatering smells. The charming storefront trattoria offers such a large selection one could eat here every day.

Best alternative to brunch
Shangri-La
6407 Orchard Lake Road, West Bloomfield
248-626-8585

On Sundays around noon there is usually a long line threading out the door of this spacious Chinese restaurant. The preponderance of Asian patrons attests to the authenticity of the fare, which in this case is dim sum, a meal of small portions of Chinese delicacies — “delights of the heart.” The dishes include dumplings, steamed or baked buns with different fillings, pork ribs, stuffed peppers, shrimp and any number of other dishes. There are as many as 75 different offerings each day, with something to excite every palate. Each small plate or steamer has three or four pieces to share. Skip the omelette this Sunday and explore the Orient.

Best bread
Avalon International Breads
422 W. Willis St., Detroit
313-832-0008

Famous for its hard-crust sourdoughs such as chunky Leelanau Cherry Walnut or old-fashioned Poletown Rye, 7-year-old Avalon has branched out to bake softer, yeast-raised breads. The 313 line, new this summer, includes hamburger buns and a $4 sandwich loaf. The buttery brioche is ever-popular, but Avalon’s biggest seller is Motown Multigrain, perhaps because of the carb craze. The multigrain mixes whole wheat berries, rye berries, sesame seeds, sunflower and flax. Equally scrumptious are all the bread fixin’s, such as organic triple-cream cheese from Cowgirl Creamery in California. October is Italian month, with bargains on focaccia, cheeses, and pesto. (Avalon is also the best place to network with socialists, urban experts, professors, entrepreneurs, artists, DJs, the homeless and other people who can change your life.)

Best Mexican bakery
Mexicantown Bakery
4300 W. Vernor Highway, Detroit
313-554-0001

This bakery is always busy, as neighborhood folks line up for their fresh daily bolillos — a simple crusty roll with a rich (and addictive) taste. The wall of bins filled with cookies and flaky pastries attracts children and adults struggling to choose between puercos (a pastry that translates as “molasses pigs”); sugar-dusted empanadas filled with pineapple, apple or strawberry; sweet cornbread; and more. The bakery makes wedding and birthday cakes and sells flan and bread pudding. A little grocery offers Mexican sausage and other cooking ingredients, such as bars of cinnamon-infused chocolate for making Mexican hot chocolate. Watch the bakers through the street-side window.

Best French bakery
Le Petite Prince
124 W. 14 Mile Road, Birmingham
248-644-7114

Marcel and Yvette Didierjean moved here from southern France and opened a bakery on a Birmingham corner. Twenty-five years later, their baked goods are a taste of perfection — and they look as good as they taste. Their baguette is a perfect blend of flour, water, yeast and salt; there is none better — crisp crust on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside. While a baguette normally begs for sweet butter, here it’s so good eaten plain that you’ll need to clean the crumbs out of your car when you get home.

Best Italian bakery
Cantoro Italian Market & Bakery
19710 Middlebelt Road, Livonia
248-478-2345

Mario Fallone opened his Cantoro market in Detroit in 1965. About 10 years later the market moved to its present location between Seven and Eight Mile roads. The Fallone family has been baking Italian breads for more than 30 years. They now supply markets and restaurant in the area. The best prices and the freshest bread are available at the fine little market, which sells a variety of Italian specialties. The ciabatta is the best. Fill the flat loaf with meatballs simmered in tomato sauce and sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. Yum.

Best breakfast
Club Bart
22726 Woodward Ave., Ferndale
248-548-8746

There are more reasons to eat breakfast at Club Bart than reasons to stay home, and good prices are only No. 3 on the list — terrific food and a liquor license are Nos. 1 and 2. Most omelettes are $5 to $6, and you can get eggs Benedict for $6.50. Order a mimosa or a Bloody Mary with your over-easies and life is sweet. Whoever decided to turn the fabulous house-made cinnamon rolls into French toast was inspired. Eggs Florentine sports a terrific lemony Hollandaise, and the poached eggs are just firm enough. Sugar addicts will love the Black Forest chocolate waffle with brandied cherries and whipped cream.

Best breakfast-- north burbs
Beverly Hills Grill
31471 Southfield Road, Beverly Hills
248-642-2355

We think it’s hard to beat ham, eggs and hash browns in the morning. Biscuits and sausage-gravy ain’t bad either. But the “grill,” as it’s known, brings in the crowds every day for offerings such as Bananas Foster French Toast, Lobster Cobb Omelette, killer corned beef hash and poached eggs, and smoked salmon scramble. Does a mimosa counteract the health benefits of oatmeal with fresh fruit? Probably not. After all, the orange juice is loaded with vitamin C.

Best healthy sandwiches and desserts
Avalon International Breads
422 W. Willis St., Detroit
313-832-0008

Though Avalon is known for bread, you just can’t beat its sandwiches and desserts. For sandwiches, there are always vegetarian and vegan options; a beloved favorite is avocado pesto with crunchy sprouts and other veggies on multigrain bread, or fresh mozzarella, basil and tomato on baguette. The sandwiches are compact but each bite is an experience of texture and flavor and they fill you up, not out. As for desserts, don’t miss Avalon’s Thanksgiving pies (sign up early to order yours). And the bakery’s homemade toasted granola and fruit bars are famous throughout town. It’s probably the most decadent offering ever for the crunchy granola crowd.

Best meal in Eastern Market
Russell Street Deli
2465 Russell St., Detroit
313-567-2900

Before Saturday shopping, fuel up on Bob Cerrito’s huge omelettes or scrambled eggs specials, which become more inventive every week. Ingredients change, but think bacon, fontina cheese, roasted red peppers and oregano; or shrimp, scallops, crab and Bechamel sauce. Prices go from $4.50 to $6 for regular omelettes to around $7.50 for specials. Hashed browns are made from scratch. Fluffy pancakes and French toast are served with lots of fresh fruit and real maple syrup. The buzz is happy: there’s something about sharing tables with who-knows-whom that seems to bring out the best in folks.

Best alfresco — downtown
Hunter House at Hilton Garden Inn
351 Gratiot Ave. (Harmonie Park), Detroit
313-967-0900

Surrounded by red, purple and magenta flowers, diners are taking advantage of the umbrella tables on the hotel patio and the view of a park across the street. Prices are not picnic-level, but neither is the food: The $9 Caesar salad has a creamy dressing and hearty croutons; the New York strip is tender and sizable; the snapper-and-scallops dish is rich and buttery. Go for a drink and dessert by the on-site pastry chef, whose chocolate mille feuille displays mastery with fudge, orange and hazelnuts.

Best alfresco dining — non-downtown
La Dolce Vita
17546 Woodward, Detroit
313-865-0331

The courtyard at LDV is as welcome as an oasis. Squeezed between two buildings with a high wrought iron fence, it’s very secluded and feels very European. What’s fun about LDV is the incongruity: a lovely spot on a downright seedy section of Woodward just north of 6 Mile, with Jaguars in the valet-guarded lot in the back. The management has a sense of humor: Second Sunday of the month is the pajama brunch. “Very Victoria’s Secret,” says manager Dean Cicala. There’s also live music Thursdays through Sundays.

Best Asian fusion
Eurasian Grille
4771 Haggerty Road, West Bloomfield
248-624-6109

David Lum steered locals away from chicken chow mein at least 25 years ago at the Rickshaw Inn, instead introducing dishes we’d never heard of. Now he holds court in a strip mall bistro and continues to fuse ingredients from countries and cuisines the world over, such as Crispy Duck Macao served with crispy bok choy and citrus fruit sauce. From South Indian-style Alaskan halibut to ribeye au poivre, from Thai style Chilean sea bass to Singapore noodles, Lum makes his dishes with care. Don’t miss the famous Black Russian brownies. Now that’s fusion.

Best big splurge
Lark
6430 Farmington Road, West Bloomfield
248-661-4466

Jim and Mary Lark opened this fabulous country inn-style restaurant 23 years ago and have stayed busy ever since. The Larks provide consistently excellent food and service. Their signature rack of lamb Genghis Khan is an Asian treat; the cataplana of shrimp, scallops, clams, mussels and chorizo has been a favorite for years. The fixed-price, four-course dinners run in the $70-$80 range. You can easily double the bill if you sample wines offered on what some say is one of the country’s best wine lists. Eating at Lark is like dining at a food spa — your palate is pampered. Try this for your next big occasion, but make sure your credit card is not maxed out. It will be when you leave, but you won’t be sorry.

Best Cajun carryout
Andre’s Louisiana Seafood Sandwich Shop
752 W. Huron, Pontiac
248-858-8208

Andre and Dorothy Williams are the hardest-working team in town. They recently moved from Louisiana to turn Motown on to Cajun food. Their po’ boys are off-the-hook. The catfish, oysters, and shrimp are salty, peppery and crunchy, the way they should be. They’re served on French bread and dressed with lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, mayo and mustard, if you like. If Andre’s is serving crawfish étouffée — usually on Fridays — do not pass it up. Try a praline for a sugar jolt.

Best Cajun — East Side
M’Dear’s Creole Cooking
15102 Kercheval, Grosse Pointe Park
313-821-1881

The family recipes, handed down through generations — everything with a degree of fire — make this one of the most authentic sources of Cajun food in the area. The gumbo is loaded with so much rice, shrimp, oysters, crab, ham and sausage that there’s scarcely room for broth. “Sizzlers” of chicken, steak or shrimp are cooked with blackened spices in a mellow Kentucky bourbon. Order your po’boy by the inch, stuffed with a choice of fried shrimp, oysters, catfish or andouille sausage.

Best Cajun — West Side
Tenny Street Roadhouse
22361 West Village Dr., Dearborn
313-278-3677

The specialty of the house is music — blues, R&B, jazz and of course Zydeco — but the food is no afterthought. It’s spicy but doesn’t rely on heat to make a splash — each flavor holds its own. A $4.50 bowl of smoky gumbo is enough for a meal and too thick to call stew. Jambalaya is thick with shrimp, andouille sausage, chicken and tasso (Cajun cured, spiced and smoked pork). Crawfish is served in étouffée, spiced and breaded as an appetizer, or “creole” cooked with vegetables and red wine. Tenny Street also serves Southern-style dishes such as ribs, cornmeal-breaded catfish bites, pecan-crusted pork chops, red beans and rice and po’ boys.

Best spot for Creole on-the-go
Louisiana Creole Gumbo
2053 Gratiot Ave., Detroit
313-446-9639

For New Orleans-style soups, snacks and suppers, one need not travel farther than Detroit’s near East Side. For years, Louisiana Creole has specialized in spicy, bayou-influenced cuisine, including such offerings as beans and rice, seafood gumbo and shrimp Creole. Primarily functioning as a carryout, Louisiana Creole caters to downtown area office lunch crowds, as well as late-night-craving customers. Dishes feature spicy or mild seasonings, chicken, fish, or beef and vegetarian-friendly preparations. The menu is an enticing reminder that fast food doesn’t end at the line for fries and burgers.

Best chain — new
Noodles & Co.
32621 Northwestern Highway, Farmington Hills
248-626-8886
17931 Haggerty Road (at Six Mile Road), Northville
248-380-7777
470 S. Main (at Fifth Street), Royal Oak
248-548-7700
3119 Crooks Road (at Big Beaver Road), Troy
248-280-4300

These stylish stores look great and the super-friendly, well-trained staff is eager to please. Each restaurant offers a dozen noodle bowls, a few salads and soups. The noodle bowls are all vegetarian, from $3.95 for buttered noodles and Parmesan to $5.95 for pesto cavatappi — a winner. Add tofu for $1.45, chicken breast or beef tenderloin for $1.75 or six shrimp for $1.95. Everything is made to order. The Indonesian peanut sauté has a sauce that will make you lick the bowl, and the creamy Wisconsin mac and cheese is one of the top sellers. This is fast food at its best.

Best chain — UPSCALE
Unique Restaurant Corp.
Various locations
uniquerestaurants.com

Upscale indeed — Unique Restaurant Corp.'s latest venture, Coach Insignia, sits at the top of the Ren Cen, with stratospheric prices to match its location. Whoever thought of the name Coach Insignia ought to be called on the carpet — it sounds more like a brand of dorky polo shirts for the GM exec crowd. URC President Matt Prentice says the new car-themed chophouse is the second-highest restaurant in the United States — so mabye they shoulda named it Lofty Grub. Anyway, the re-opening of the sky-high restaurant has been highly anticipated for the past few years since GM has been re-doing the Ren Cen. Go to Coach Insignia for lobster and foie gras. Prentice's dozen Detroit-area restaurants include Shiraz, a top-of-the line prime steakhouse; Northern Lakes Seafood Company, which serves the likes of Stilton-crusted sea bass and soft shell crabs; and Morels, a Michigan-themed perennial favorite (visit in the spring to find morels served many ways). Further down the food chain are the less expensive but equally crowd-pleasing Flying Fish Tavern, Portabella and the new Thunder Bay Brewing Co. URC is not ashamed to offer a Frequent Diner Program for its high rollers— track your points on the Web site and get free champagne on your anniversary.

Best cheap eats — burbs
Falafel King
32748 Woodward Ave., Royal Oak
248-554-9881

When in Rome … The first thing to try at the Falafel King is the signature sandwich — falafel patties in a wrap with hummus, tabbouleh, lettuce, pickled turnips, peppers and tahini sauce. At $3.75, the sandwich can’t be beat. Everything is cooked to order, mostly grilled — or, in the case of the chicken shawarma, cooked on a griddle, a departure from the traditional method of cooking the meat on a vertical broiler. And try a cup of the lentil soup. There are lots of good Middle Eastern eateries in town, but none are better than this at any price.

Best cheap eats — Detroit
Kingdom Men’s Café
12400 E. Jefferson, Detroit
313-821-2671

If you’re free for lunch, and it’s a Wednesday, Thursday or Friday, and you like soul food, have we got a deal for you: for $12, you’ll get fresh flowers on the tables and all you can eat at The Kingdom Men’s Café, a project of the East Lake Baptist Church. The restaurant in the church serves food equal to many soul food restaurants, but it costs less, your plate sits on a linen tablecloth and the service is fastidious. Try catfish, fried chicken, smothered pork chops and baked herb chicken. One of the church mothers makes the lemon pound cake, dense in texture, coated with a lemon glaze, which turns brittle when it cools. The café is also open Friday for dinner from 7-9.

Best chicken dinner
Al-Ameer
29222 Orchard Lake Road, Farmington Hills
248-851-1122

Let’s cut to the chase: The boneless chicken at Al-Ameer’s is the bomb. It should be called, “Succulent Charbroiled Chicken with Lemon and Garlic Sauce.” The meal is served with soup or salad and rice or potatoes and pita fresh out of the oven, too hot to touch, and a plate of pickled vegetables, all for $14.95, or a half order for $9.95. Incidentally, the half order is more than enough for two people for lunch.

Best contemporary North American
Beverly Hills Grille
31471 Southfield Road, Beverly Hills
248-642-2355

Midafternoon each day the chef creates dinner specials from fresh ingredients that arrive that day: yellow-fin tuna with a spicy peanut sauce served with bok choy and a scallion-basmati rice; grilled beef tenderloin medallions in wild mushroom beef sauce served with garlic mashed potatoes and grilled yellow squash; mustard-seed-crusted swordfish in a lemon garlic broth plated with tomatoes, spinach and fingerling potatoes. Finish your meal with a fresh fruit cobbler, which also changes daily.

Best contemporary American — north burbs
Jeremy Restaurant and Bar
1978 Cass Lake Road, Keego Harbor
248-681-2124

The frequently changing, seasonal menu has only a handful of entrées, but you’re not likely to be disappointed with anything. Even the most ordinary foods — chicken, steak, salmon — are transformed in extraordinary ways. Flavors are intensified, and ingredients are brought together in ways that will surprise and delight; you might find paper-thin slices of peaches in your salad and a red wine reduction in your dessert. Chef and owner Jeremy Grandon is an artist who takes pleasure in both the creativity and complexity of cooking.

Best contemporary American — northwest burbs
Loving Spoonful
27925 Golf Pointe Blvd., Farmington Hills
248-489-9400

Chef Shawn Loving describes his menu as “upscale comfort food.” He says that he cooks what he likes to eat, “and then I twist things to make them more elegant.” You’ll notice this as soon as the food begins to arrive. The butter might be blended with a sweet red wine and studded with dried cranberries; salads sparkle with condiments like crunchy jicama, orange segments, chunks of papaya, and prosciutto. If you like ribs, these are slow-smoked and basted with honey and pineapple. Located on the Copper Creek Golf Course, you don’t have to be a member or even a golfer to enjoy lunch or dinner here.

Best contemporary American — East Side
Jumps
63 Kercheval, Grosse Pointe
313-882-9555

Chef Chad Steward is the equal of many celebrated chefs on the west side, but he’s not as well- known. Perhaps it’s the cutesy coffee shop setting in the basem*nt of an office building. Lots of locals know that Jumps is a great spot for lunch, and that it’s terrific for a weekend breakfast, but the eatery is also open for weeknight dinners (except Monday). Check out the specials on the chalkboard. One night featured pecan-crusted scallops topped with dried cherry compote, served with acorn squash puree and a little tower of couscous studded with green peas and scallions. Imagine the colors!

Best French
Zinc Brasserie and Wine Bar
6745 Orchard Lake Road, West Bloomfield
248-865-0500

An immediate hit since its Valentine’s Day opening, Zinc draws visitors from as far as Toledo. The dining room design, with its overhead mirrors, magnifies the excitement of closely packed diners who’ve found the latest “Big Thing.” Diners like the rustic French menu with daily specials such as coq au vin, cassoulet, bouillabaisse and sea bass Basque-style, and they love the European beers and French wines — available in $3 to $4 half-glass “tastes.” If you are put off by the notion that all French food is about cream and butter, prepare for Zinc to dispel the myth. A brasserie by definition is an informal restaurant that serves simple, hearty food. Zinc’s Salade Rustique is exceptional. The pan-roasted whitefish with pommes frites and vegetables goes for $10 at lunch and $13 at dinner.

Best hot and sour soup
Dong Sing
40816 Ryan Road, Sterling Heights
586-939-6323

The delicate balance between hot and sour is deftly achieved in Dong Sing’s masterful soup. The Szechuan classic is done so perfectly that it might have originated here. The flavors, textures and aromas launch an assault on your taste buds. The slight crunch of the wood ear mushrooms, the chewy texture of the pork strips, the tenderness of the tofu, the spice of the chilies, the smokiness of the sesame oil: all combine to make this hot and sour the unrivaled best.

Best Italian
Giovanni’s Ristorante
330 S. Oakwood, Detroit
313-841-0122

It’s the last thing you’d expect in this forgotten corner of Detroit. Giovanni’s is an urbane and celebrated restaurant, beloved by Ford execs and European visitors alike. Ask for a table in the fireplace room, with its old-fashioned chandeliers and wine cellar. Pasta is made fresh every day by an Italian nonna who’s been doing it for 60 years. All the classics are here: gnocchi, scampi in white wine, and five versions of veal, including Veal di Granchio, served with sun-dried tomatoes, asparagus and crab in a brandy glaze. Best bet: scallops, shrimp and artichokes in pesto pomodoro over linguine.

Best Old-World Italian experience
Roma Café
3401 Riopelle St.
313-831-5940

Said to be Detroit’s oldest restaurant, Roma deserves its excellent reputation. The famous house salad, dressed with salt and pepper, vinegar, oil and Parmesan cheese, and featuring chopped eggs and chick peas, makes a great lunch on its own, but few pass up the pastas — spaghetti with meat sauce is a favorite — and the veal is as good as it gets. This is no nouveau cuisine; it’s heavy old Italian food and it might give you heartburn. But the wood-paneled bar is romantic and the waiters in tuxedos give the place an Old-World feel; the Eastern Market setting adds to the charm.

Best Italian — Nouveau
Da Francesco Italian Cuisine
49624 Van Dyke Ave., Shelby Township
586-731-7544

Located in a nondescript strip mall, Da Francesco is a place you’d never stumble into. But the food is terrific and the prices are surprisingly low. The pasta marinara is a platter of fettuccine topped with shrimp, mussels, clams and calamari; the plentiful dish comes with soup and a salad for $15.95. The pollo foresta is-ah da best-a — medallions of chicken with sun-dried tomatoes, artichokes and lots of wild mushrooms in a Madeira sauce. All of the stuffed pastas and the gnocchi are handmade daily. Even if you live on the West Side, this place is well worth the drive.

Best cheap eats — Italian
Giorgio’s Restaurant
25920 Greenfield, Oak Park
248-968-4060

It looks like a retro lunch counter, but choose from the “Counterside Gourmet” section of the menu, and you might as well be in a little Italian trattoria. When you order cherries jubilee, they set it on fire right in front of you, as if you were in the most sophisticated of restaurants. This is a tiny eatery, so takeout is very popular — dinner at Giorgio’s is a deal, and plenty of loyal customers know it.

Best Italian — East Side
Bucci (Formerly Maxine’s Italian Cuisine)
20217 Mack, Grosse Pointe
313-882-1044

You can watch Chef Bucci Mamushlari make your dinner in the open kitchen. Start with artichoke tosca; the hearts are halved, dipped in egg batter, sautéed, and served with a lemon sauce dotted with capers. Specify white sauce with the linguine con vongole, so you can really taste the sweet clams, which are plentiful. Chicken bella is a house specialty featuring dried cherries, walnuts and hazelnuts in a lovely Marsala sauce. When he purchased the restaurant, Chef Bucci did not have enough money to change the name. Now he does. Same place, same great food.

Best Middle Eastern — north burbs
Lebanese Garden
43259 Woodward Ave., Bloomfield Hills
248-253-9300

This newcomer to the Middle Eastern scene emphasizes healthy cuisine. The Lebanese maza (combination appetizer dish) features hummous, baba ghannoush, tabbouleh, fatoush, grape leaves, falafel, fried kibbee, mixed vegetables and pickles — enough to fill three or four people — for $20. The whole lentil soup is only a bit better than the chicken rice soup. The crushed lentil is creamy without cream. Check the daily specials like stuffed leg of lamb for about $8.

Best Middle Eastern — East Side
Steve’s Backroom
24935 Jefferson, St. Clair Shores
586-774-4545

Steve’s is a back room no more, but the name is intact and the food is largely unchanged — and that’s a good thing. The sprightly flavors of lemon, garlic, parsley and olive oil are found in most dishes. Vegetables are used in inventive ways and meat is a minor player. Save room for dessert standouts like the fig tart, or apricots baked in liqueur, stuffed with pistachio nut butter and topped with yogurt, whipped cream, and sugared almonds.

Best new downtown restaurant
Oslo
1456 Woodward Ave., Detroit
313-963-0300

Word spread fast. Oslo was opening downtown with “nouveau” sushi in a beautiful, modern design setting. The restaurant/ late-night bar /club was immediately adopted by those with a stake in reviving downtown. Groups migrate after work to pop sushi and edamame or to share a combination plate or a drink. Surprisingly, the sushi bar is also visited by post-theater and Tigers patrons; the dance floor downstairs plays electronic music for yet another crowd. Everybody’s smiling, and an enthusiastic staff lets you know you’ve come to the right place.

Best pad Thai
Pad Thai Cafe
6601 Orchard Lake Road, West Bloomfield
248-737-5941

Predictably, the Pad Thai served at its namesake is excellent. The fish sauce, which doesn’t taste like fish, lends a slightly sour taste to the classic noodle dish. Cooked with chunks of meat or seafood (your choice) and garnished with shredded lettuce, carrots and ground peanuts, it’s a simple yet tasty and filling treat. If you like more ingredients, ask Sue, the waitress and part-owner, to add an order of vegetables to the dish.

Best place to eat and listen to world-class jazz
Baker’s Keyboard Lounge
20510 Livernois, Detroit
313-345-6300

With Juanita Jackson, Detroit’s “wing queen,” at the helm in the kitchen, the fried chicken better be good. The greens, yams and black-eyed peas are mouthwatering sides. The catfish is crisp on the outside and sweet and moist on the inside. What a way to enjoy Detroit’s finest jazz scene. The jam sessions during the week attract some of the best musicians around — many are the best anywhere. The food is reason enough to come. There isn’t even a cover charge. Beat that.

Best Seafood — Detroit
Doña Lola
1312 Springwells, Detroit
313-843-4129

Some of the best seafood restaurants rely on fresh fish prepared simply. Fish that is lightly seasoned and served with perhaps a sauce of butter and slivered almonds is a fine treat. Joe Muer’s was proof of this for several decades. But at this little Ecuadorian seafood spot in southwest Detroit, Lola Suttles offers several seafood soups and delicate ceviche. Shrimp or lobster tails in garlic sauce are delectable. Dona Lola’s seafood rice, similar to paella, is not to be missed.

Best Seafood — northwest burbs
Steve and Rocky’s
43150 Grand River, Novi
248-374-0688

Two of the area’s most respected chefs — Steve Allen from the Golden Mushroom and Rocky Rachwitz from the Chuck Muer group — teamed up to open this appealing seafood restaurant in 1998. Their approach emphasizes freshness and creativity. Elaborate glazes, sauces and side dishes create a harmonious theme for each entrée. Yellow fin tuna is glazed with hoisin sauce, and presented with an Asian rice cake, grilled pineapple and sweet onions. This is one restaurant where non-fish-lovers will find interesting alternatives, such as roast duckling with wild rice, lentils and bacon.

Best Seafood — northeast burbs
Third Wave Seafood and Chop House
19 S. Washington, Oxford
248-969-3600

There’s a retail fish store in the back and a sushi bar in the middle, but most folks come for dinners like the Malibu shrimp fettuccine, with a lively tomato-wine sauce and sun-dried tomatoes, mushrooms, spinach, artichokes and shrimp. Asian-style sesame ahi tuna is just barely seared, leaving it red but warm in the center. Dinners come with a very good house salad, a vegetable and your choice of wild rice pilaf, redskin potatoes or chophouse fries. Weeknight specials include oysters, a fish fry, shrimp, and crab.

Best Tandoori Chicken
House of India
28841 Orchard Lake Road, Farmington Hills
248-553-7391

A tandoor is a clay oven used to cook delicious Indian bread – naan – and seasoned meats and seafood at searing temperatures. One of the most popular tandoori dishes is chicken that’s been skinned and rubbed with salt and lemon, then soaked in a marinade of yogurt and coriander, cumin, garlic and other spices. The meat is cooked in minutes, surrounded by intense heat in the tandoor. When it comes out of the oven, the chicken is lightly charred on the exterior and moist on the inside.

Best wacked-out sandwiches
Woody’s
117 S. Main Street, Rochester
248-601-3200

This is an easy category to win, because there are no sandwiches as bizarre and delicious as the ones served at Woody’s. Do not let that diminish the winners. Don’t miss the “Taste of India Cajun Grinder,” the tandoori chicken grinder, the kebob grinder, the Cajun veggie curry or the samosa grinders. Each is worth the drive to Rochester just for bragging rights.

Best Calamari
George & Harry’s Blues Café
22048 Michigan Ave., Dearborn
313-359-2799

Calamari is easy to ruin with too much breading or too much grease. Cook the squid too long and it’s rubbery. At George & Harry’s, chef Nico Dimopoulos makes “flash-fried calamari” that’s airy and crisp. He uses Rhode Island “t & t’s” (tubes and tentacles) rather than the cheaper, tougher Chinese product, and marinates them in buttermilk for two days to tenderize. He coats the morsels minimally with two kinds of flour and sautés them quickly in clean canola oil. Add limes and cilantro sauce and the diner’s evening is made.

Best carryout
Dish
18441 Mack Ave., Detroit
313-886-2444

“We keep our little corner of the universe happy,” says chef Paul Sulek. Loyal regulars come in once or twice a week for creative entrées like herb-roasted pork tenderloin and potato-crusted salmon, or a side of aioli asparagus. Biggest sellers are entrée salads like grilled asparagus; steak and Gorgonzola (with rare roast tenderloin, walnuts and Dijon vinaigrette); marinated mozzarella (fresh mozzarella balls, croutons, pine nuts, parmesan, and red onions); or the Maurice (inspired by the old Hudson’s famous version, featuring iceberg lettuce with chicken, ham, Swiss cheese, tomatoes, red onions, chopped eggs and gherkins).

Best carryout — Middle Eastern
New Yasmeen Bakery
13900 W. Warren, Dearborn
313-582-6035

Although it boasts dozens of Lebanese sweets and baked goods, New Yasmeen is far more than a bakery. It features traditional dishes from southern Lebanon that you won’t find anywhere else in the area. Check out the display case and ask. Many selections are vegetarian and the non-meat eater can feast on protein-rich combos with olive oil, cracked wheat, chickpeas and garlic. Ask for the eggplant-chickpea combination. Or try fateh, a tangy, nutty mix of chickpeas, yogurt, mint and pine nuts, served warm. Three Lebanese breakfasts are available, including a foul (pronounced “fool”) made of fava beans and chickpeas marinated in garlic and lemon. Very cheap sandwiches and the usual lamb dishes are also on hand, and you may dine with plastic forks in a lovely tile-covered dining room. Don’t miss the olives, imported chocolates and other grocery items on stock.

Best chain
Buca di Beppo
38888 Six Mile Road, Livonia
734-462-6442
270 North Old Woodard Ave., Birmingham
248-540-9463
12575 Hall Road, Utica
586-803-9463

Headquarters calls it “a collection of neighborhood restaurants” — 97 of them nationwide, at last count. The corporate mission is to take diners back to the ’50s, when families were large and the meatballs were too. The idea is to pretend you’re in the basem*nt (buca) of a guy (Beppo) who’s emigrated from southern Italy. The family-style platters are bargains: A small pasta feeds three as a main dish, and most run from $12-$15. The array of choices is huge and the quality is high. Sauces feature recognizable tomatoes, not tomato paste. Local favorites are margherita pizza, chicken with lemon and quattro al forno — a sampling of baked pasta specialties. Mangia!

Best contemporary cuisine
MamO Bistro
5880 Wyandotte E., Windsor
519-948-0693

The menu is short and inventive. Thirty-year-old chef-owner Ryan Odette unites familiar ingredients in inspired combinations that enable all components to star at once. He combines the richness of duck with the bite of arugula, the acridity of parsnips and the sweetness of apricots and figs. He builds a salad with Gorgonzola, cashews and bacon. Sweet potatoes are mashed with bourbon; barely cooked spinach is served with asparagus; goat cheese is matched with prosciutto cotto and stewed sour cherries. More typical but equally sumptuous: cremini mushrooms with asiago and white truffle oil over fettuccine. This bistro is not to be missed.

Best corned beef hash
Sheila Teas
115 E. Fourth St., Rochester
248-601-0648

Traditionalists, look elsewhere. Corned beef hash, the most plebian of breakfasts, gets a makeover at Sheila Teas. The beef is still brine-cured and salty as the sea, but it’s chopped up with sweet potatoes instead of regular spuds. The salt of the beef sets off perfectly the richness of the potatoes, and the generous portion turns out more rich than sweet. Eat this before work and you won’t need lunch.

Best crab cakes
Brandon’s
20000 Harper, Harper Woods
313-343-9677

What’s the secret of feathery crab cakes, crunchy outside but light as a cloud within? At Brandon’s, it may be the very thin coating of panko (Japanese bread crumbs, both coarser and lighter than others). The homemade white-wine mayo that’s mixed with the lump crabmeat may help. And perhaps the Cholula hot sauce has an impact — there’s a touch both in the crab cake itself and in the mild tartar sauce on the side. As a $9 appetizer or in an $11.25 sandwich with waffle-cut fries, these delicate beauties are enough to make a restaurant’s reputation all by themselves.

Best crepes
Josephine Crêperie and Bistro
241 W. Nine Mile, Ferndale
248-399-1366

Here the crepes only begin the fun: From the French and French-inspired menu you can also order house-made wines, patés and coq au vin. The crepes are made with buckwheat flour and stuffed and topped with plenty of filling. Served with vegetable sides, one makes a substantial meal. For an entrée, choose from chicken-asparagus with mustard cream sauce, wild mushrooms and beef bourguignon. For dessert try mixed berries or Nutella with fresh whipped cream. All this and much more (such as mimosas, eggs Benedict and eggs Norwegian) is available for Sunday brunch.

Best Ethiopian
Blue Nile
545 W. Nine Mile Road, Ferndale
248-547-6699
221 E. Washington, Ann Arbor
734-998-4746

Diners come back to this perennial “best” because the flavors are so intense they almost vibrate. (Or is it because we love eating with our fingers?) Vegetarians in particular are well-served here, although the chicken, lamb and beef are just as good. Dark green collards, a puree of red lentils, bright yellow split peas and cabbage sautéed with jalapeño — each is exquisitely spiced, often with onion and garlic, or with a barbecue-like berbere sauce. Juices mingle as they soak into the injera, which then becomes the best part of the meal. Full bar too.

Best food in a sports bar
Harry’s Detroit
2482 Clifford, Detroit
313-964-1575

A gourmet sports bar? Do Lions fans care? Apparently, enough do. Harry’s has a split personality, with burgers, chili and fish-and-chips on the one hand, and Gulf shrimp pasta with artichoke hearts and basil chiffonade on the other. Sometimes chef Jim Lamb mixes genres — like flatiron steak over fried gnocchi, or ribs with roasted asparagus. Salad can be field greens with sun-dried tomatoes and Parmesan, or loaded with bacon, blue cheese, eggs and red onion. A plurality of dishes, including the shrimp quesadilla, carry a fiery component — which makes them well-matched with beer. Unless, that is, you’re ordering a Key lime martini.

Best Mexican
Señor López Taqueria
7146 Michigan Avenue (near Cecil), Detroit
313-551-0685

Beans are the measure of a Mexican restaurant, and Sr. López does them right. Cooked fresh every day with onions, they’re whole, not mashed and refried. Standouts are the crusty whole tilapia, chiles rellenos (two poblanos barely dipped in egg batter, grilled and peeled for a smoky flavor and filled with creamy Muenster), guacamole (chunky and infused with lime), the simple $1.25 taco (slathered with cilantro), and chicken soup. A dish not to miss is the Carne de Puerco en Chile Verde — tender chunks of pork braised in a tomatillo and green chile sauce (possibly the best $7 meal in town). Instead of the usual gringo favorites, branch out and try ceviche, mole (red or green) and Mexican drinks like horchata, tamarindo and jamaica. Bonus: Sr. López eschews lard.

Best fajitas
Juan’s Hacienda
31313 Dequindre, Madison Heights
248-583-9792

The menu declares that Juan’s is the home of the flaming fajita; this we had to see. These are excellent fajitas: lots of charred green peppers and onions, grilled chicken and steak, well-seasoned. It’s great fun to watch the server pour brandy around the perimeter of the cast iron griddle and set it aflame with a click from a lighter. The liquor gives it a mellow flavor. Go ahead and splurge for the extra cheese ($1) because the flames melt it so nicely.

Best night out when you’re not paying
McCormick and Schmick’s Seafood Restaurant
2850 Coolidge Road, Somerset South, Troy
248-637-6400

The McC&S chain is in 22 states, and with its clubby, dark wood paneling, velvet-curtained private booths and cigar-friendly bar, the atmosphere is intimate. The menu changes daily as 35-42 fresh seafood offerings are flown in. But you’ll pay $14 for a hamburger, $32 for a steak and $26/lb. for live lobster.

Best place to take the parental units
Traffic Jam
511 W. Canfield, Detroit
313-831-9470

If you and Dad always fight for the check, here’s one place where you don’t have to let him win (entrées are $10-$17). If the ’rents always ask, “Just why is it you live in Detroit, again, son?” you can tell them that TJ’s is a Detroit institution (39 years and counting) and that it makes its own beer, bread, ice cream and cheese — how cool is that? It’s a beautiful and cozy place to eat too: wooden with fireplaces, neat antiques, old glass, and lovely interior architecture. The variety of dishes will please the palates of all generations (meatloaf and lentil burgers, fish-and-chips and goat cheese tart), and no one goes home crabby after TJ’s decadent desserts.

Best restaurant to splurge
Tribute
31425 W. 12 Mile Road, Farmington Hills
248-848-9393

When money is no object, make Tribute your objective. It is, quite simply, the best taste experience you’re likely to find, in an atmosphere of pampering without too much posturing. Award-winning chef Takashi Yagihashi changes the French-with-touches-of-Asian menu daily. Yagihashi uses local ingredients as much as possible while focusing on seafood. A typical bill on the á là carte menu is $100 per person. The eight-course tasting menu — Yagihashi’s whims of the day — is $90, and a different wine comes with each course.

Best restaurant renovation
La Cuisine
417 Pelissier St., Windsor
519-253-6432

It’s not easy taking over a 28-year bastion of old-school French cuisine, but the verdict is in: The new owners have won back François Sully’s loyal fans. Chef Harvey Cross still cooks French, of course, but he’s updated the formerly static menu. Alongside standbys like duck confit (now added to salad) and bouillabaisse, Sully serves pepper-crusted salmon with saffron sauce, tournedos Rossini (that’s with foie gras and Madeira sauce) and tournedos St. Andre — a fancy version of beef and melted cheese. The regulars are happy, and so are newcomers.

Best restaurant for a romantic night out
Nico
851 Erie St. E., Windsor
519-255-7548

It’s the sensuality of the cuisine that makes this place romantic, although the candles, Italian wines and gracious service also ease diners toward after-dinner delights. Nico sets only 14 tables, so no bustle will distract you from the subject at hand. After melt-in-your-mouth provimi veal with four-mushroom cream sauce, all resistance dissolves. The extravagance of salmon stuffed with crab, shrimp and artichokes could make a nun say yes. If you order pasta, make it a short one, like penne salmone with caviar, so you won’t ruin the evening with a slurp.

Best now-defunct restaurant
Alan Manor
3203 Peter St., Windsor

When chef Perihan Alan decided to retire after 21 years, a cry went up from the unique Alan Manor’s longtime fans. What can take the place of an 1877 house filled with antiques and serving a sensuous eggplant dish called “The Priest Fainted”? Where will we get our Manor Delight (phyllo with apricot, coconut and liqueur)? Everyone’s favorite host, handsome Dhirendra Miyanger, is moving to Vancouver, the better to pursue his acting career. Fans of Dhirendra in the “Jinnah” series can look for him in a 13-part CBC anthology about love. Is love of food included?

Best now-defunct restaurant — lunch
Small World Café
111 E. Kirby, Detroit

When Small World closed July 30, after 11 years, workers in the Cultural Center were deprived of their favorite good-lunch-at-good-prices option. Just as important to the legions of heartbroken regulars were the friendly vibes. Unable to agree on a new lease with management of the International Institute, Small World closed. Let’s hope chef Rita Ahluwalia opens anew.

Best place to blow your casino winnings
Iridescence (inside Motor City Casino)
2901 Grand River Ave., Detroit
313-237-7711

If you’ve hit it big at the tables, this is the place to celebrate. The wine list runs up to $499. Ingredients are extravagant: Gnocchi are truffled, foie gras is served with caramelized fruit. The seafood sampler includes lobster terrine, a drunken Kamoto oyster shooter in a cucumber martini and caviar sushi. Entrées start at $36 for breast of pheasant. The $41 short ribs won the gold medal for the U.S. team at the Culinary World Cup. Remember that Lady Luck can smile on anyone — there’s no dress code and your fellow diners may be wearing sweat pants.

Best steakhouse
Shiraz
30100 Telegraph Road, Bingham Farms
248-645-5289

Now that steak is considered health food, at least by the Atkins-addled, it’s even more important to know where to get your fix of the bleeding red. Top-dollar Shiraz serves only the fattiest grade, prime, which makes for intensely flavored filet mignons, New York strips, porterhouses (20 oz.) and short ribs ($29-$39). The meat is expertly complemented by a selection of sauces: port wine veal essence, béarnaise, morel, horseradish cream or Detroit zip. A side of baked potato is $4, but you weren’t going to order that anyway.

Best sushi noir
Oslo
1456 Woodward Ave., Detroit
313-963-0300

The design is noir but the vibes are not. The owner-architect’s “ahistorical” layout surrounds the diner in wooden forms painted black. The cellar dance floor is the same, with just a few red lights to lessen the murk. In this stylish and informal space, Tokyo-born chef Kaku Usui is sticking to Japanese traditions only as far as he feels like it, and his blend is working. Try the salty river eel, or the spicy tuna, with heat that builds up on you after you eat it. Ask for deep-fried shrimp head, which is not on the menu: Usui calls it his “good-looking potato chip.”

Best sushi — West Side
OJ’s Sushi Bar
29429 Orchard Lake Road, Farmington Hills
248-553-5080

OJ Suzuki creates sushi with the grace of a Kurosawa samurai handling his dai-tachi. OJ feels strongly about serving traditional sushi with the focus on the quality of the food, not gimmicks. His creations are as stunning as they are delicious. “Making food requires an artistic heart,” he says. The menu is a little confusing, but OJ is happiest if you leave the ordering to him. Let him know you are not afraid to try the unusual and you’ll be in for a treat.

Best sushi — East Side
Noble Fish
45 E. 14 Mile Road, Clawson
248-585-2314

One of the best places for sushi is also one of the least pretentious. You get what you see: a tiny sushi bar in the back of a Japanese grocery. It’s the freshness of the fish and the artfulness of the preparation that makes Noble Fish stand out. Reasonable prices don’t hurt either. Check off what you want on the menu and fill your own Styrofoam cup with water or green tea from a communal pot. Outstanding is the spider roll: a slender cylinder of rice wrapped with nori and featuring the little legs of a (fried) soft shell crab escaping from either end. Thumbs up for the Michigan roll, an inside-out roll filled with tuna, cucumber, avocado, and a spicy sauce.

Best Japanese
Cherry Blossom
43588 W. Oaks Drive, Novi
248-380-9169

The menu is more extensive than many other Japanese restaurants, and the restaurant houses a yakitori (grill) bar as well as a sushi bar. Everything is prepared and presented in the graceful Japanese style, with intricate attention to detail. All the standard entrées are offered, as well as items we haven’t seen elsewhere, such as kamonabe — sliced duck cooked in broth at your table, with vegetables, tofu and noodles. Ten zaru combines chilled buckwheat noodles with shrimp and vegetable tempura. Another suggestion: oyako cha, fish broth served in a little iron cauldron with salmon roe, salmon, rice, egg and seaweed.

Best tamales
El Comal
3456 W. Vernor Highway, Detroit
313-841-7753

Forget the dry tamales you may have sampled elsewhere — El Comal serves Colombian and Guatemalan tamales that are far superior to the Mexican version — juicier, with more stuffing (and perhaps more lard?). Wrapped in a banana leaf, of course, the Colombian tamale encloses chicken and bacon (or just chicken) and is accompanied by arepa (a corn cake), rice and beans. The simpler Guatemalan tamale comes with a secret sauce made only by owner Elda Castellano, and is served with coffee, per Guatemalan tradition.

Best tapas
Three, a Tasting Bar
63 Pitt St. E., Windsor
519-258-3303

Three makes the most of the tapas concept with a menu that borrows from Asian, Spanish, French and more. Every dish tastes like the chef’s specialty. The best way to order is the “plato,” an assortment of five or six dishes, bigger than most tapas: choose vegetarian, meat, seafood or “chef’s mood.” Standout dishes are tempura, a platter of smoky asparagus, artichoke heart and endive, lamb chops in balsamic sauce, and tapenade duck quesadillas. The resident pastry chef makes a sublime dessert plato that, if you’re lucky, will include raspberry crème brûlée. The spirit of tapas infuses the wine choices too: you can order by the glass, the bottle, or the “taste.” If you share, a fun evening is guaranteed.

Best tea
The Upper Crust
75 Kercheval, Grosse Pointe Farms
313-884-5637

Tea doesn’t have to be harsh or bitter. The secret is to buy the very best varieties, which will have big leaves, says Upper Crust owner Alison Boomer, and then not to cramp them, nor subject them to light or heat. Her selection is from Grace Rare Tea, and she uses an extra-long filter to let the leaves open out. Pure Assam Irish Breakfast (an Indian black), for example, is smoky and silk-smooth. Although it’s perfect on its own, a spot of milk doesn’t compromise it, and it’s served with a fresh artisanal honey. Try Winey Keemun English Breakfast or Darjeeling Superb 6000 (black), or Gunpowder Pearl Pinhead, a green tea hand-rolled into pellets. You can drink at Upper Crust or take the tea home.

Best Thai soup
Thai Bangkok
9737 Joseph Campau, Hamtramck
313-875-5770

A giant bowl of Tom Kha for $2 is medium fiery but so much more — sweet with coconut milk, earthy with cilantro, rich with meat. The flavors play off each other while remaining differentiated. Tom Yum, without the coconut milk, is almost as good, and includes tomato slices along with the lemon grass and kaffir lime leaves. Don’t look only in the “Soups” section: some of the “Noodles” dishes are soups too. Ba-Mee-Mu-Dang combines egg noodles, red roasted pork, bean sprouts, fried garlic, crushed peanuts, cilantro and scallions in a sublime broth. The result is complex and filling yet light — just what you want in Thai soup.

Best Vietnamese
Annam Restaurant Vietnamien
22053 Michigan Ave., Dearborn
313-565-8744

Annam is still the best because of the ethereal delicacy of its food matched by the spare elegance of the surroundings. The Nguyen family’s secret is to use fresh herbs — cilantro, mint, lemon grass — and to stir-fry with few oils. Customers’ favorites are chicken lemon grass and catfish cooked in a clay pot with a caramelized sauce. Equally good are the warm bean sprouts with shrimp (a light salad), the appetizer sampler, bouillabaisse, and ginger chicken with eggplant. There’s a wine list and full bar, with Japanese and Chinese beers. Ask your server which wines to order with beef satay or ginger chicken.

Best soul food
Magnolia
1440 E. Franklin St., Detroit
313-393-0018

Impeccably dressed couples mingle with those in T-shirts and jeans; romantic twosomes sit alongside big families that bow their heads and say grace before they eat. The combination of elegance and accessibility makes Magnolia unusual and refreshing. Entrées are reasonably priced, portions are beyond hearty. Highlights include ribs, chicken-fried steak, buttermilk-battered catfish and meatloaf. There is a Cajun subplot with specialties like gumbo, po’ boys and chicken voodoo. Two sides come with most entrées: great mashed potatoes, yams baked in syrup, creamy macaroni and cheese, spicy Cajun fries, peppery greens. Fantastic desserts only $4. Open daily, full bar.

Best deli
Steve’s Deli
6646 Telegraph Road, Bloomfield Hills
248-932-0800

Everyone has their own yardstick for measuring the quality of a deli. Ours is a pastrami sandwich. Like corned beef, pastrami starts as a brisket pickled in brine, but then the two meats part company. Pastrami is coated with cracked peppercorns, garlic and other spices, then smoked. Steve’s makes a great pastrami sandwich on hand-cut rye bread with a crunchy crust. It’s piled high with meat, but not so high that you can’t get your mouth around it. The sandwich is not too fatty, but not without fat, served with good mustard, and two dill pickles.

Best before the theater
Cuisine
670 Lothrop St., Detroit
313-872-5110

Located in the shadow of the Fisher Building, Cuisine attracts a bustling theater crowd. The 1920s house is simple but elegant — there’s a full bar and seating both upstairs and down. Paul Groz’s French-American menu is ambitious and creative, sophisticated and memorable. Each entrée on the short list is classically presented and perfectly executed; desserts are marvelous. The staff knows how to get you out before the curtain rises.

Best sinful lunch
New Center Eatery
3100 W. Grand Blvd., Detroit
313-875-0088

The hot item here is fried chicken wings with waffles. Four chicken wings surround a huge Belgian waffle with a big scoop of butter in the middle, topped with a luscious red strawberry. It’s almost X-rated. Lunch offerings are divided between simple sandwiches and salads and more elaborate entrées. If it’s a special day, or if you have a long lunch break (or if you’re the boss), look to the entrées for chicken Marsala, fajitas, jerk-dusted baby-back ribs, lemon-garlic shrimp and more. A side salad of diverse baby greens comes with.

Best trend
New restaurants in Detroit
Who would’ve thought that so many new restaurants would open in the so-called Murder Capital? Some are in the hot locales, clustered around Comerica Park. Others are in practically deserted areas, such as Magnolia, which opened this summer in the (once thriving) warehouse district (now abandoned thanks to casino politics), or Altas Global Bistro, which opened on a tattered strip of Woodward not far from the Medical and Cultural Centers. A leader in this trend, Sweet Georgia Brown, found an enthusiastic audience for its high-end Southern cooking in Greektown. Oslo, all the way downtown, was described by our reviewer as “the intersection of Japan and techno, a club and a restaurant, sushi and American sensibility.” Tom’s Oyster Bar, across from the RenCen, is a hot place to meet after work. Coach Insignia just opened for business inside the RenCen with a bird’s-eye view of the Detroit River. Also in the RenCen: Seldom Blues, a 300-seat restaurant and jazz club. Royal Oak, you’ve met the competition, and it is fierce.

Best Cuban
Café Habana
417 S. Main St., Royal Oak
248-544-6255

Café Habana brings an interesting new cuisine to the metro area, in a funky-chic setting, with Latin music, a full bar and good times to be had. Cuban food is simple but substantial. Grilled meats dominate the platos principales, and they are enhanced by fresh and spicy salsas and marinades. Carne asado is flank steak marinated in mojo, a combination of sour orange juice, garlic and cilantro. Dip it into the chimichurri sauce (parsley, cilantro, garlic, olive oil and red wine vinegar). It’s an outstanding merger: the charred-grilled meat with the zesty, fresh flavors of the dipping sauce. The drink of choice: mojitos — club soda with rum, sugar and lime poured over fresh mint.

Best Belgian
Bastone
419 S. Main St., Royal Oak
248-544-6250

The concept here is a Belgian brewpub, and beer is brewed on premises. A sampler served on a plank of wood includes five 3-ounce pours. On the menu are quintessential Belgian dishes, such as moule (mussels), seafood waterzooi (a variation of bouillabaisse), brandade de morue (puree of salt cod, potatoes and olive oil, a staple of the poor for centuries) and twice-fried Belgian frites served with mayonnaise. The house salad is as perfect a salad as we’ve ever had: Belgian endive mixed with baby greens and garnished with cubes of roasted beets, sun-dried cherries and sugary-spicy walnuts. The warm chocolate cake comes with an incredible espresso ice cream.

Best reason to SHAME new restaurant owner
Bastone
419 S. Main St., Royal Oak
248-544-6250

The restaurant is gorgeous. The upper floor is reminiscent of a Grand Central Terminal seafood restaurant, and downstairs, the bar area is ultra-chic with televisions playing sick cartoons and little tables and low couches for hanging out — smoking is allowed — big plus. But where is the selection of Belgian beers? Belgian beers are some of the oldest and best on the planet, and hard to find in this part of the United States. But Bastone serves only their home brews, which are mediocre at best. Who’s idea was that? Please, Bastone, bring us some imported Tappist Ale, some Orvall, Duvall and the exotics! They’ve been doing it for hundreds of years in Belgium, don’t even try to compete!

Best vegetarian
Inn Season Café
500 E. Fourth St., Royal Oak
248-547-7916

It’s always the best vegetarian restaurant in the metro area, and it seems as if it always will be. Open since 1981 and now under new ownership, Inn Season has only grown better with age. The cozy dining room is filled with people of all ages in politically correct T-shirts. Fine, organic ingredients are used, and many dishes are available in vegan variations. Look for a menu that changes seasonally, with interesting pizzas, salads, Mexican-inspired dishes, and more. The desserts may be made with organic ingredients but they don’t taste “healthy.”

Best noodles
Noodle House
24267 Novi Road, Novi
248-348-5580

Dining at the Noodle House is a genuine Japanese experience; it’s a modest establishment with impressive dishes inside. Most diners are of Asian heritage, and there’s a big selection of Japanese comic books to read during dinner. Choose among the many varieties of soup offered: 16 variations of luxurious ramen (egg noodles), seven of udon (soft wheat noodles), and five of delicious soba (buckwheat noodles).

Best place to convince someone to move to Detroit
Sweet Georgia Brown
1045 Brush, Detroit
313-965-1245

Last Valentine’s Day, a reader wrote and asked where to take her Big Apple boyfriend for dinner, a place that might make him feel positively about Detroit. We suggested Sweet Georgia Brown, and the New Yorker was impressed. It’s a place that reflects and celebrates Detroit, from the Southern-inspired menu to the live jazz to the downtown location — and it’s done in an atmosphere that is classy and exciting, gracious and welcoming. Sure, it’s a splurge, but if you’ve really got to impress someone, it will do the trick.

Best kosher
Milk & Honey
6600 W. Maple, West Bloomfield
248-661-2327

Located inside the Jewish Community Center, Milk & Honey is a gourmet restaurant that happens to be kosher. Fish entrées are featured; the luscious red ahi tuna and the pistachio-crusted sea bass are both perfectly prepared. The selection of vegetarian entrées is creative enough to rejuvenate the diet of lifelong vegetarians, and some of the menu items are so good, you won’t be able to resist them on a return visit.

Best Chinese — northeast burbs
Golden Harvest
6880 12 Mile Road, Warren
586-751-5288

There are two menus at Golden Harvest; pretend to be Chinese-savvy and you will be offered the authentic one. Try the walnut shrimp; the presentation is reminiscent of a wedding cake, with the first tier being neatly arranged broccoli flowerets, the next tier shrimp, which are fried without breading, so plump and puffy that they seem to have been reconstituted as clouds. The last tier is a scattering of candied walnuts and sesame seeds. The “icing,” a sweet white sauce, is tempered by the sharp citrus flavor of lemons. It’s an outstanding dish, and there are many others.

Best Chinese — northwest burbs
Hong Hua
27925 Orchard Lake Road, Farmington Hills
248-489-2280

“Fine Chinese Dining” reads the menu, and in most respects, that promise is fulfilled. The dishes are prepared with attention to detail, and the menu features many unusual items, such as bird’s nest soup. Salad-seafood rolls are wrapped in bean curd skins and crisply fried. A standout entrée is the squid wrapped around shrimp mousse. Served on wooden skewers, this dish is so beautiful and so delicious that you’ll return for it often. Order it with a glass of white wine for relief from the hot pepper flakes.

Best kid-friendly
Guernsey Farms Family Dairy Restaurant
21300 Novi Road, Northville
248-349-1466

We’re of the school that doesn’t believe kids need larger-than-life cartoon characters to dine with them. If you want to give your kids a real Americana experience, try this stuck-in-the-’50s spot, part of a real dairy that produces unbelievably delicious milk, buttermilk and ice cream. The food is all kid-friendly, including broasted chicken, meatloaf, pork chops, burgers and sandwiches. The chicken is memorable, the rest is ordinary, but who cares, because you’re saving room for dessert, right? Get a sundae inside, or a cone to eat outdoors under a 100-year-old burled oak. A ring of boulders around the tree provides seating and endless climbing fun for the tykes.

Best Indian
Rangoli Indian Cuisine
3055 E. Walton Blvd., Auburn Hills
248-377-3800

The delicious samosas will win you over: flaky pastry wrapped around a filling of minced lamb or mildly spiced potatoes and peas. Entrées come in small copper tureens; among our favorites: nargisi aloo, a potato scooped out and stuffed with a mix of nuts, vegetables and cottage cheese; tikka masala, chunks of breast meat roasted in a tandoori oven then cooked in a thick and luscious sauce; chettinadu, pepper chicken cooked with fiery peppers in a coconut curry (you need a strong stomach for this one); and paneer tikka, a roasted form of marinated cheese, served with a thick tomato-cream sauce on the side.

Best Latin music with Latin food
The Alamo
15100 E. 10 Mile Road, EastpoinSend comments to [emailprotected]

Best place to have your tea leaves read

Boston Tea Room

121 Elm St., Wyandotte

734-281-2244

The sages here will never miss a prediction if they say they see a mild, warm beverage in your future. That's because at the Boston Tea Room you can get a reading — and some swell tea. Also complementary are coffee and snacks, and the pleasant conversation you'll have in the comfy surroundings with other patrons of the extrasensory. There are 10 readers on staff, providing everything from tealeaf deciphering to palmistry, tarot readings and chats with the dearly departed. It's a great place to take a group of friends for a reading, and then hang to discuss the psychic implications. For $2 more, you get an audio tape of your reading. How futuristic!

Best Detroit product no longer made in Detroit

(tie) Stroh’s Beer and Vernor’s Ginger Ale

Over the recent decades, many Detroit-born products have taken the route many Detroiters have — that is, hightailing it out of the city for perhaps greener pastures. But no matter where their current factories of production may reside, true Detroit products such as Vernor’s Ginger Ale and Stroh’s Beer will always be rooted in the city that gave them their birth. The classic "Boston Cooler" (Vernor’s and vanilla ice cream) should rightfully be referred to as the "Motown Cooler," and Stroh’s, with its rich, fire-brewed flavor and bargain price, is always the perfect companion for a shot and a smile. Bring back Stroh’s Signature!

Best place to get up to no good

Ford-Wyoming Drive-In Theater

10499 Ford Road, Dearborn

313-846-6910

Next time someone asks if you want to screw around, don’t decline because you’re still living with your parents. Instead, take a passage from Danny Zuko's Art of Seduction and woo your date at the drive-in. The Ford-Wyoming features first-run films and a double-feature deal, 16 screens and more action than a by-the-hour motel.

Best salon for checking out firm male assets

Alex & Emilio Salon

409 S. Main, Royal Oak

248-414-7600

Yes, they have amazing cuts and color, but perhaps the best reason to frequent Alex & Emilio Salon is for checking out the staff. Male stylists seduce your scalp with luxurious shampoos and pamper you with full attention. This salon is a perfect place to practice your "Sex & the City" innuendoes while pretending to browse Vogue. There are also a few hot ladies on hand for the male clientele. A little harmless flirting, yes, but don’t let all that peroxide go to your head.

Best place to unleash your inner product whor*

Sephora

2800 W. Big Beaver Road, Suite 218, Troy

248-458-0100

Sephora knows product possession addiction (beauty supplies, potions, etc.). This emporium is fully devoted to giving product whor*s a surreal, org*smic experience — providing the latest and chicest shades, scents and textures. Sephora carries a number of rare brands such as Fresh, Frederic Fekkai and Nars. Attractive women in white gloves will happily seduce you with this season’s blush, gloss, bath picks and other superfluous cravings. For anyone who has to have the "in" thing, stop by Sephora to fulfill your fix.

Best costume jewelry

Royal Oak Farmer’s Market

316 E. 11 Mile Road, Royal Oak

Cheap, cool and sparkly are the watchwords of every costume jewelry junky. Their addiction can be satisfied every weekend at the Royal Oak Farmer’s Market. From gaudy paste diamond confections to sterling silver charm bracelets featuring a pantheon of lesser-known Christian saints, there’s something for everyone. The market is open every Sunday.

Best name for a hair salon

Babes N Braids

20534 W. Seven Mile Road, Detroit

313-537-7700

If a clever slogan is all you need, try this on for size: "If your hair is not becoming to you, you should be coming to us." Babes N Braids goes beyond clever wordplay, offering a wide range of services including, but not limited to, perms, weaves, braids and something called a "pump-a-dor."

Best place for a hair weave or fly hairdo

Shades of Gray Salon

230 W. Nine Mile Road, Ferndale

248-541-4611

Is your kitchen busted? Or did you just end up with a bad haircut? Either way, hair engineer Ja’Niece Gray, co-owner of Shades of Gray Salon, can dye, fry and lay your hair. And if you need a little extra length, Gray will take that pressing comb, blow on it and tell you to "hold your ear," before she adds a little length. Whether you want it curly, straight, temporary or sewn in for a few months, Gray can tighten ya’ up.

Best place for dreads

Golden Goddess

1248 Washington Boulevard, Detroit

313-965-6200

Dreadlocks are often seen as a lifestyle, more than a hairstyle. Along with the long twists may come more spirituality and a higher connection with African ethnicity and heritage. Golden Goddess, a full-service salon that specializes in natural hair care, is the place many visit when they want to start wearing dreads or want to re-twist the already-present locks.

Best independent pharmacy

Mills Pharmacy

1740 W. Maple, Birmingham

248-644-5060

Mills Pharmacy is a quaint, wholesome, neighborhood drugstore, where, even in this age of TV and video games, kids can still spend their allowances on cheap candy and comic books. The pharmacists and staff are knowledgeable and very experienced. A range of convenience-store products in a clean, upscale environment makes Mills Pharmacy a pleasant drug-buying experience.

Best cheap fun for kids

Arts & Scraps

17820 E. Warren, Detroit

313-640-4411

This place is the answer to everyone’s prayers — from designers and business owners to teachers and interior designers. For moms, it’s an even greater treasure. It is also the answer to those endless questions of "Mooom, what are we going to do today?" on rainy Saturday afternoons. Inside this magical store, kids can fill up a grocery bag for a couple dollars with art supplies that will busy them for hours. Arts & Scraps has an extensive range of art materials including wallpaper, old photo frames, colored sand, bottle caps, stickies and whatever else might be needed for a unique work of art. Arts & Scraps is a nonprofit organization that recycles tons of industrial waste into fun art materials each year.

Best nursery

Wiegand’s Nursery & Garden Center

47747 Romeo Plank, Macomb Township

586-286-3655

Wiegand’s qualifies as the best nursery in the Detroit area for both landscaping and home needs. They offer 10,000 square feet of flowers, plants, trees and shrubs for every gardening enthusiast. It features the garden center, glass greenhouse and an adjacent sales yard that hold more than 540 varieties of trees, shrubs and perennials carefully selected from Wiegand’s 350-acre farm in Lenox Township. This family-owned operation is the best place to go to for friendly service, reasonable prices and a wonderful gardening experience.

Best place to buy a Christmas tree

Blake's Orchard and Cider Mill

17985 Armada Center Road, Armada

810-784-5343

There’s nothing quite like heading to the country to hack down your own tree come Christmas. And Blake’s is the place to do it. With 80 acres of trees, and about 10 varieties ranging from Scotch pine to Norway spruce to firs, there’s plenty to choose from. But that’s only part of the fun. A tractor-pulled hay wagon takes you to the trees. Hot cider, made at the farm’s cider press, keeps the chill off. Grilled Italian sausage sandwiches and a bakery offering fresh donuts and all sorts of other yummy baked goods make the experience complete.

Best place to buy eyewear

Wizard of Eyes

407 S. Main, Royal Oak

248-584-4880

If you’re looking for funk and function in a pair of glasses, then check out the Wizard of Eyes in Royal Oak. They not only offer great vintage frames, but quirky new styles and eye exams as well. The staff is friendly and honest, so you can rest assured that you won’t end up with frames that would make Poindexter feel like a geek.

Best arcade

Marvin’s Marvelous Mechanical Museum

31005 Orchard Lake Road, Farmington Hills

248-626-5020

Everyone has a hobby that sets them apart from others. Marvin Yagoda, however, brought his hobby to the public in his specialty arcade. The 60-year-old pharmacist’s business is listed in the 100 Most Unusual Museums in the U.S. and holds that title with honor. His museum has everything from drunkard dummies to more than 40 gliding airplanes on the ceiling, ancient fans and the newest arcade games for those seeking the latest gaming innovations. The place is a perfect weekend escape to set the kids free and kick back and enjoy a few games yourself. Also available for birthday parties.

Best swimwear

Bobette’s Lingerie

945 W. Huron, Waterford

248-681-2727

For those seeking all the accessories to go along with a bathing suit, travel to Bobette’s in Waterford for friendly staff and a pleasing shopping experience. The store comes equipped with form-fitting suits to flatter any figure, as well as specialty lingerie that makes every man drool.

Best place to buy women’s underwear (affordable)

Target

15901 Ford Road, Dearborn

313-336-5000 (or call for a location near you)

Men can pick up a pack of BVDs in just about any department store and wear them without complaint. But for the curvaceous gender, finding a decent pair of undies that don’t droop or creep up one’s crack is no easy feat. For a reliable pair of cotton briefs in all cuts, colors and sizes, Target is a sure bet. And it won’t break your pocket book.

Best place to buy women’s underwear (moderately priced)

Victoria’s Secret

Fairlane Town Center, Dearborn

313-271-2480 (or call for a location near you)

It’s fun to watch women drag hubbies and boyfriends in this store and ask, "Do you think I would look good in a G-string? How about tap pants? Do you prefer French-cut panties or bikinis?" Most men sheepishly look at the floor and grunt inaudibly. But, don’t be fooled, ladies. Men pay attention to underwear. If you want to treat yourself to sexy yet comfortable panties, shop here. You and your partner won’t be disappointed.

Best place to buy women’s underwear (expensive)

Nordstrom

Somerset North, 2850 West Big Beaver Road, Troy

248-816-5100

For primo panties at a primo price this is the place. The store carries designs by Felina, Shantel and Cosabella — whoever they are. Calvin Klein bras are the best — not only pretty, but comfortable and form-fitting. If you want to blow a wad, it’s well worth it.

Best date flick of the year

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

This comedy tops the list as the most enjoyable Friday night flick of the year. Scriptwriter Nia Vardolos portrays a thirtysomething daughter of the most traditional Greek parents in the world, according to her. She works at Dancing Zorba’s, her family’s restaurant, leading a miserable life and aching for some color. Her bleak world changes the instant the man of her dreams walks in to have lunch, flipping her world upside down. It’s a humorous tale of separating from parents, marrying a "Non-Greek," and dealing with a loud and obnoxious family. This movie appeals to both women and men through its endless family banter and wisecracks that everyone comes to love.

Best game place for a cheap ladies’ night out

Gameworks

4316 Baldwin Road, Auburn Hills

248-745-9675

Gameworks (in the Star Theatres’ side of Great Lakes Crossing) offers an irresistible event for ladies over 18. From 8 to 10 p.m. on Thursday nights, all ladies receive a free game card that can be used at all arcade games. You can play each one as many times as you’d like, as often as you’d like. It’s a great chance to meet up with the girls and let loose for a few hours, kicking each other’s butts on the NASCAR game or one of the other 200 newest games. There’s also a hip and trendy bar for those over 21 and the Gameworks restaurant at the front of the building for a before-gaming meal.

Best place to buy homemade herbal products

5th Element Products

33 N. Washington, Oxford

248-628-5858

5th Element is an excellent place to get a shampoo-soap bar, flax-seed pillow or whatever your interest might be. Owner Debra Chaffins works in the early morning hours before the store opens, making all of the soap and other quality items sporting the "5th Element" logo. Chaffins also supplies the store with an extensive selection of herbs and oils, candles and health remedies for any illness. Visit Chaffins, also a student of neuropathy, and her store in Oxford for a sweet trip into a land of herbs and smells made for relaxation.

Best magazine selection

Borders Books & Music

612 E. Liberty St., Ann Arbor

734-668-7652

You may think that all Borders bookstores are alike. Not so, particularly when it comes to periodicals. The Ann Arbor location carries the mother lode. Where else can you find Reptiles USA, a guide to buying and caring for reptiles and amphibians, or KMT, a modern journal of ancient Egypt? Of course there’s also the standard fare: People, The New Yorker, Opera News, etc. Whatever your interest, be it motorcycles, music, film, spirituality, Eastern philosophy, travel or skateboarding, it’s there.

Best place to buy Krishna paraphernalia

Lotus Imports

419 S. Washington, Royal Oak

248-546-8820

If you’re looking to find Zen in the teenybopper-biker scene on the streets of Royal Oak, look no further than Lotus Imports. Surround yourself in serenity as the sounds of chimes and the scents of spices from faraway lands enliven your senses. This hidden gem of retail refuge offers shoppers a constantly evolving array of finds from the tranquil East. Silk saris, gold-bellied Buddhas and Kali pendants flank the displays. Lotus also offers a selection of offbeat gifts such as newspaper purses and a cowgirl-themed board game.

Best place to buy your first guitar

Mars Music

28223 Telegraph, Southfield

248-354-6444

Let’s face some facts: The huge, corporate-owned guitar supercenter chains have driven a stake through the heart of the mom-and-pop instrument shops using the cruel basics of Economics 101. If you want to buy a guitar on the cheap, you have little choice but to buy it from the "man" (who in this case is probably adorned with "hockey hair" and plays in a cheesy East Side-Double Trouble cover band.) But unlike the condescending wankers at all of the various Guitar Center locations, the guys at Mars are actually helpful, kind and exceptionally good at concealing the fact that they are frothing at the mouth for their commission. If you’re going to drop a whole summer’s lawn-moving wages on a physical token of the rock ’n’ roll dream, Mars is the place.

Best place to buy your last guitar

Boss Guitars & Vintage Musical Equipment

Best vintage musical equipment

Boss Guitars & Vintage Musical Equipment

613 N. Main, Ann Arbor

734-327-2677

When you step into Boss, it’s immediately apparent that you’re in the right place to spend a slightly regrettable amount of money on the object of your dreams. In addition to a hand-selected collection of guitars and amps, Boss also deals in buying and selling a fairly stunning collection of vintage electric pianos, organs and the occasional set of traps — all fairly priced (though bartering will get you nowhere). The shop’s owner, Eric Stollsteimer, seems to live behind the counter and is a no-nonsense guide to great vintage gear. He’s convincing enough to be a good salesman, frugal enough to be a good shop owner and rightfully proud of his jaw-dropping collection of instruments. Word on the street is that he may try opening an appointment-only location in Detroit. We’ll keep you posted.

Biggest prick behind the counter

New To You Connection

172 W. Nine Mile Road, Ferndale

248-545-4570

Understanding the truth in the adage "even bad press is good press," we’ll keep this one short. If you want to go completely broke by spending your life savings, 401k cash-out and dead Uncle Dick’s inheritance on a guitar, amp or vintage keyboard, New To You might look good through the front window. The problem is the guy behind the counter has the manner of a penny-pinching love child of Ebenezer Scrooge and the Grim Reaper. Widely reputed as the rudest (and most overpriced) guy in the instrument biz, the proprietor (and only employee) of New To You Music wins this dubious prize.

Best recording studio

Ghetto Recorders

www.ghettorecorders.com

Don’t think his collection of cool old tape machines and analogue gadgets is the only thing responsible for Jim Diamond’s successful track record in the last few years (his client list includes a who’s-who of Detroit rock notables, including the Von Bondies, the Soledad Brothers, Bantam Rooster and more). It probably also has something to do with his vintage soft-core p*rn mags and never-ending supply of beer. In short, this place is a rock and roller’s paradise.

Best indie record label

Ghostly International

www.ghostly.com

So like its apparitional (CQ) name, Ghostly International seems to have simply appeared out of nowhere (well, actually Ann Arbor) and grabbed a slice of the spotlight. How? It seems mostly to do with Sam Valenti IV, a young man whose methodical takeover of underground electronic music is stunning. Releases include Tangent 2002 (a compilation featuring ever-buzzworthy locals Adult.) and Midwest Product’s Specific CD, both of which have made this start up … well, international

Best affordable audio equipment

Salvation Army

1627 W. Fort St., Detroit

313-962-5960

Digging through the stacks of unloved donations at Detroit’s largest Salvation Army location can be a somewhat daunting task. But because of its size and downtown location, the place is stacked with great finds. The thrift shop’s large selection of stereo equipment is sure to have a well-made dinosaur or two from the glory days of 1970s high fidelity. For hardcore bargain hunters, head for the basem*nt where there are huge, unsorted lots of treasure in various states of repair for next to nothing.

Best alley for the serious bowler

Thunderbird Lanes

400 W. Maple Road, Troy

248-362-1660

It may not have the indie-rock charm of the Garden Bowl, but Thunderbird Lanes has the best bowling around. This is not the place to go to show off your oh-so-vintage new T-shirt. This is where to go to punish some pins. The lanes are in great shape; ther are frequent specials (usually $5 all you can bowl), and the ball selection is truly awe-inspiring.

Best Michigan microbrew

Bell’s Brewery

Kalamazoo

Does anything taste better on a hot summer evening than a cold bottle of Bell’s Oberon? We think not. Bell’s Brewery offerings not only taste great, they're potent. Pass up those 15 cans of MGD and have a couple Bell’s instead. It's available in most grocery or specialty stores.

Best independent bookstore

Book Beat

26010 Greenfield, Oak Park

248-968-1190

Break the chains. Expand your borders. Find books on barns and nobles (and a whole lot more) in this small-but-mighty spot tucked into the corner of yet another anonymous suburban strip mall. It’s jammed ceiling to floor with books, ethnic masks and other literate goodies, and staffed by people who seem to know more about what you want than you do yourself. The in-store gallery exhibits art too edgy for other places. Always worth the trip.

Best used bookstore

The Library Bookstore

169 W. Nine Mile Road, Ferndale

248-545-4300

Now, of course, John K. King Books (Detroit and Ferndale) is the undisputed King Kong of used publications, with more square footage and floors of titles than anyone else. But the Library is an intimate alternative, perfect for browsing, where you always seem to find just the right Zen text or poetry book or mystery novel for your mood. With A Woman’s Prerogative, Paperbacks Unlimited and John K. King Books North in the immediate neighborhood, it makes Ferndale the most literate town in the sprawl.

Best poetry section in a bookstore

Shaman Drum Bookshop

311-315 S. State St., Ann Arbor

734-662-7407

Though not specializing in poetry, these folks do a terrific job of stocking their shelves with bards from John Ashbery and Amiri Baraka to Anne Waldman and Louis Zukofsky, while representing the local scenes and small presses, and planting that unexpected chapbook treasure here and there that turns browsing into a real adventure.

Best art movie house

Main Art Theatre

118 N. Main, Royal Oak

248-542-0180

Pretenders come and go, but the Main Art endures for good reason. Once the home of simply "The Main," a neighborhood house specializing in kids’ matinees and mainstream fare, the redesigned space has become the anytime-you-need-a-buzz favorite of serious film buffs, continuing its deluge of titles (domestic and foreign — great, bad, but hardly ever indifferent) and avoiding the commercial crassness of the anonymous cineplex. Plus it’s got the cutest, snottiest and most helpful staff in town.

Best movie snack bar

Star Theatres

It’s a trend in movie theaters to jack up prices so that you pay a dime for every kernel of popcorn. Every movie theater considered for this position has inflated prices for all of their sweet goods. This being said, Star Theatres get the award for best movie snack bar. Their Southfield location includes a restaurant; the Auburn Hills location includes a coffee shop and an ice cream parlor, all items of which can be taken into the actual screening rooms. These two locations, the biggest of the Star chain, have kitchens to prepare hot dogs and pretzels, and adjacent shops for ice cream or coffee. If you’re on a budget and can’t afford the high-priced items, just revert to the old-fashioned trend of sneaking candy bars in.

Best used record store

Encore Records

417 E. Liberty St., Ann Arbor

734-662-6776

A proverbial candy store for music junkies in the Detroit area, Encore records stands alone as the crowning jewel of the area’s record outlets. The inside is of the place seems to defy the laws of physics — thousands upon thousands of hours of music are filed along the tall shelves and narrow corridors of the tiny store. Novices, collectors and wax addicts alike could sped gleeful hours in the cramped isles rifling though volumes of stock for that perfect something. Encore deals in buying, selling and trading the finest sounds in all formats and boasts a massive selection of all genres (classical buffs and jazz heads will delight in their rare and out-of-print vinyl selection). Best of all, the turnover of the place is stunning, so if they don’t have what you’re looking for on the first visit, the next time it might just be waiting for you.

Most knowledgeable record store staff

Car City Records

29118 Harper, St. Clair Shores

586-775-4770

All your buddies keep on telling you that you’d love The Flamin’ Groovies, but you don’t know if they mean 1971’s Teenage Head or 1993’s Rock Juice. You need answers … fast. You need to ask around at Car City, where the members of the staff (many of whom are members of Detroit bands) treat rock ’n’ roll "Jeopardy" like a life and death matter.

Best place to get bent over the counter when selling CDs

Record Exchange

149 West Nine Mile Road, Ferndale

248-546-3244

Staring at a sizeable pile of CDs that you swore up and down you’d never pawn but because of certain economic woe you are forced to? Well, if you take a good year’s worth of hard-earned CD purchases to the trade counter at the Record Exchange in Ferndale, you’ll most likely walk out with just enough dough for a medium pizza, a six-pack of Stroh’s and maybe, if God is on your side, a pack of smokes. What’s more, you may also leave with sense of having been humiliated, what with the marked patronization of at least one of the store’s employees.

Best bicycle shop

Bill Freund’s Olympic Schwinn and Fitness Center

22031 Coolidge, Oak Park

248-541-8500

There’s something timeless about Bill Freund’s bicycle shop. Instead of a store cluttered with gaudy, hot-rod bikes and a commission-hungry staff, Freund’s has the kind of mom-and-pop atmosphere that makes you want to buy something (Bill himself has been coming into the shop to oversee operations for the past 43 years). But the best part of the place is their repair shop in the back — a room where mechanical miracle workers can transform the rusting hunk of junk in your basem*nt into a smooth-riding vehicle of youthful escape.

Best thrift store (furniture)

Rescued Treasures

43584 Van Dyke, Sterling Heights

586-997-9942

Sure, when you think of the blue-blooded, SUV-cluttered streets of Sterling Heights, a thrift store doesn’t make much sense. But maybe that’s the secret to Rescued Treasures’ load of gems. The place is jammed with great furniture finds — everything from lamps, rugs and other home accessories to huge dressers, tables and an occasional piano, parlor organ or musical instrument. The real kicker is that on the first Saturday of every month everything in the whole place is half off — making for ridiculously great deals.

Best thrift store (clothes)

Salvation Army

5600 E. Eight Mile Rd., Detroit

313-892-6644

Shopping at a "Salvys" can be kind of sketchy, but the Salvation Army location on E. Eight Mile is a fashionable cheapskate’s dream. The clothes are clean and sorted by style and color, and the deals will have you dressed to the nines for under $5. This is the crème de la crème for cheap style.

Best hat store

Henry the Hatter

1307 Broadway, Detroit

313-962-0970

Henry the Hatter has been a Detroit institution for 100 years, (making it this city’s oldest retailer) and walking through the shop’s door is like taking a walk into a bit of Detroit history. The A-list of designer hatmakers are all present and neatly displayed along the walls and the staff is more than happy to lend a hand. They have felt evening hats with colorful plumes, plaid and leather urban caps, fur winter hats, engineer’s caps, and even a selection of baseball lids. There’s truly something for everyone.

Best place to buy hip-hop clothing

4 Men

Eastland Mall (313-372-9923)

and Fairlane Town Center (313-323-3600)

If you’re looking for the perfect hook-up, whether you’re just chillin’ or actually stepping out, 4 Men has something for you. With racks and racks of the latest trends and the hottest label names, including Girbaud, Guess and Sean Jehn, you can dress like a rapper even if you don’t have the skills. And, if you don’t know what to buy, just ask Gary or Reese, they’ll hook you up with the proper hook-up.

Best place to buy ’gators

City Slicker Shoes

164 Monroe, Detroit

313-963-1963

Some might say you’re not really a baller unless you own at least one pair of ’gators — preferably a pastel color. Although the shoes average $700, the clientele at City Slicker easily fork over the dollars and walk out in style — often with a matching baby-pink or lime-green suit from the Broadway to match. Celebrities such as Steve Harvey have made a pit stop at City Slicker to complete their ensemble and stock up on Detroit’s flava. City Slicker has been serving those who like fine shoes for 22 years. Although the ’gator isn’t extinct, if Detroit players have their way, it soon will be.

Best overpriced vintage

Mother Fletcher’s

234 W. Nine Mile Road, Ferndale

248-398-4816

Not only does Mother Fletcher’s have just what you want, they also have you just where they want you. You see the shirt of your dreams and try it on. It’s the perfect color, the perfect fit, the perfect everything. Then … you look at the price tag. For both men’s and women’s apparel, Mother Fletcher’s is the place.

Best ill-mannered clothing store owner

Dan Tatarian at Showtime Clothing

5708 Woodward Ave., Detroit

313-875-9280

Showtime owner Dan Tatarian often offers an ill-timed insult to welcome you into his clothing store. Tatarian — a big guy with affable eyes and a gentle demeanor — may fire insults in your direction; he may smirk too, but it’s really all in jest. Turns out that, for whatever reason, the man is actually a sweetheart masquerading as a hard-ass. What’s more, Showtime offers the best selection of new and used clothes for the B&D-rock ’n’ roll-garage set in greater Detroit. 1960s pearl-button western shirts mix with Easy Rider-era biker jackets; Clash (cq) creepers mix with fetish wear and sheer knee-high stockings, antique deco watches, hot pants and leopard-print jackets. What’s more, the Showtime stock could easily be filed under affordable. Take the piss on, indeed!

Best pottery

Pewabic Pottery

10125 E. Jefferson Ave., Detroit

313-822-0954

Thanks to Mary Chase Perry Stranton, Pewabic Pottery was established in Detroit in 1907 at the Jefferson Avenue location where her innovative iridescent and blue-green glazes are still produced. Stop by to see the potters in action. Or learn how to do it yourself by signing up for one of the many classes offered year round. Pewabic pieces are also on display and available for purchase. They’re open Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

Best bead and oil shop

Djenne Beads and Art African Imports

1045 Beaubien, Suite No. 153 (International Building), Detroit

313-965-6620.

Hidden in Greektown’s Atheneum Hotel, facing the Greektown Casino, sits a gem of downtown Detroit. Here you’ll find a plentiful collection of African beads, including antiques, perfume oils, incense, African clothing, great jewelry and other items of interest. Mahamadou Sumareh, the owner, travels to Africa several times a year so you can enjoy the fruits of the continent.

Best hidden gift shops

Little Things

633 Beaubien, Detroit

313-964-5091

Spirit in the Park

635 Beaubien, Detroit

313-961-8995

Unless you hang out at the Detroiter Bar or live downtown, you aren’t likely to find the two little gift shops next door to each other on Beaubien. But Spirit in the Park and Little Things are well worth a visit, offering gifts from the inexpensive to the expensive, from little shaving kits for men to beautiful pottery bowls and hand-made stationary. No matter who or what you’re shopping for, one of these two exquisite boutiques will have what you are looking for.

Best place to buy incense

Eastern Market

Who needs Glade Air Freshener and Plug Ins when you can buy a stick of incense and enjoy the slow burn? There’s a guy at Eastern Market — who’s there every week on the main drag — who sells incense at $14 for 100 sticks in exotic scents like Tranquility, Sensational and Blue Nile. That’s a great price considering you can buy a "name brand" box of about 20 sticks incense at the same price. Throw on some cooling-out music, kick back and allow the incense to do its thing.

Best pawnshop

Zeidman’s Loan OFC

2669 Gratiot, Detroit

313-567-7170

Zeidman’s is the pawnshop that does all of the advertising. Of course, it has radios, DVDs and big-screen TVs, but its real claim to fame is the "previously enjoyed" collection of Rolex watches. Starting at $1,800 for a lady’s Oyster Perpetual, the store also carries Presidential and Masterpiece Datejust, to name a few. One other advantage to a "previously enjoyed" Rolex from Zeidman’s is that, with 10 percent down, you can layaway the watch and make monthly payments until the watch is yours. What time is it?

Best of Detroit 2002:

Civic pride
Party loyalty
Strong bodies
The wrong stuff
People's picks

Best movie line about Detroit

in Airplane!

Detroiters have become accustomed to Hollywood's cheap smack-talk. Jabs at Motown come via a boatload of mainstream films such as Working Girl, Grosse Pointe Blank, True Romance and The Goonies. But this line from Airplane! tops ’em all: Ted Striker: [flashback] I remember when we first met. It was during the war. I was in the Air Force stationed in Drambui, off the Barbary Coast. I used to hang out at the Magumba bar. It was a rough place, the seediest dive on the wharf. Populated with every reject and cutthroat from Bombay to Calcutta. It was worse than Detroit.

Best church names

In no particular order, as culled from the Yellow Pages

Jaws for Jesus; Fully Persuaded Church of the Apostolic Faith; Meeting the Needs of God's People Outreach Ministry; Straight Gate Church; Old Pathway Oneness Apostolic Church; Outreach Apostolic Overcoming Holy Church of God, Inc.; Chain Link Ministry For Christ; Faithful Mount Triumph; I Am Temple; Puritan Avenue Baptist; Cleansing Springs Missionary Baptist; Pillar and Ground Baptist; St. Mel's Catholic Church; Leap of Faith Community Church; Precious Blood Church; Last Days Ministry; For Such A Time As This Ministry; More Excellent Way Cathedral Church of God in Christ; The Lord's Team; Holy Ghost & Fire Deliverance; Power House Temple; Strictly Biblical; Military Avenue Church; Beam of Light Spiritual Temple; Encouragement Corner Ministries; Tell It Like It Is Ministry.

Best local TV show

"Detroit's Most Wanted"

Cable Channel 6, various times

OK, so the production values ain't so great, but no channel surfer could be disappointed with the content. Bad lite-jazz plays as this public service spot unfolds. The number of murderers at large is astonishing. Their photos appear in grim progression as an alarmingly upbeat announcer blurts lines like: "Earl Smith (pause for dramatic effect) Murder and sexual assault!" Some of the photos are predictably unflattering. But a disconcerting number of them look like full-on fashion portfolio shots. And we get the sinking feeling that somewhere, some tot is yelling, "Mommy, Uncle Earl is on the tay-vee again!"

Best place to hang with deadheads

Elmwood Cemetery

East Lafayette and McDougall, Detroit

313-567-3453

The roads and graves aside, here is your only glimpse of what Detroit’s hilly landscape looked like before the Cadillac conquest and all that followed (including the 1763 Battle of Bloody Run at the cemetery pond where Chief Pontiac and the redcoats (cq) got it on). Names out of our geography — Canfield, Joy, Lodge, Woodbridge and Buhl, for instance — dot the landscape. Some 29 former mayors, Coleman A. Young included, are here, along with other folks both noteworthy and forgotten, who have been arriving since 1846.

Best bottle return

Kroger’s

33300 W. 14 Mile Road, West Bloomfield Township

248-737-7280

Michigan’s refundable bottle law is a mixed blessing. Sure the money is great and really adds up after late-night house parties (often giving you enough for a pizza the next day), but taking back the stacks of stinky, cigarette butt-filled bottles for your refund can be tiring and gruesome. Even with the invention of the bottle machine that does most of the work for you, that doesn’t necessarily stop it from being a filthy procedure. Kroger’s in West Bloomfield Township offers up a quiet, clean area with unjammed-up machines, no lines and hand soap-aplenty, combining to make it the most enjoyable return in the metro area.

Best grassless urban park

Pope Park

Joseph Campau, downtown Hamtramck

Make sure you bring lots of sun block and an umbrella. While offering up a lot of colorful characters and semisolitude from the often-hectic city lifestyle, one thing that Hamtramck’s Pope Park doesn’t offer its inhabitants is the usual landscape befitting of most parks — grass. You can bask in the shade of the statue of Pope John Paul II which was erected in honor of his 1987 visit, feed the pigeons and in general get a hell of a lot of sun.

Best place for mullet sightings

Downtown Hoedown

Hart Plaza, Detroit

Mid-May

Flannels and 40s of Bud give Detroit’s annual Downtown Hoedown true back-country flair, but perhaps the best reason to attend the free country music fest is for an entertaining eyeful of mullet, aka, the ape drape, the Tennessee waterfall, the mud flap. Hart Plaza becomes a magnet for drunk-off-their-ass, Camaro-cut honky-tonkers. It’s an even better place to get at least one hearty gratuitous laugh. Eat your heart out, Billy Ray!

Best local music festival

Concert of Colors

Chene Park, Detroit

Mid-July

You started small in 1993, just one show on one stage on one day. But, baby, look at you now. You’re a whole weekend’s worth of fun and music; a marketplace with crafts and goodies from all over the planet; a gathering that bridges cultures, colors and communities. We’ll even forgive Chene Park’s dubious acoustics because we love you like we do.

Best place to perform a glowstick enema

DEMF

Okay, look kids. We've had it. Put those goddamned glowsticks away before we do something really, really nasty. They're not cool and they're annoying to the point of forced insanity. We don't care how entrancing those waving little glowing buggers are to your chemical-riddled brain; put them the hell away or you won't need a night light anymore.

Best place to rock

Planet Rock

34 Rapid St., Pontiac

248-334-3904

82 April Dr., Ann Arbor

734-827-2680

Whether you’re a novice climbing for the first time or an old hand, Planet Rock is a primo place to go scaling. The Ann Arbor facility is a cavernous 22,000 square feet with walls up to 50 feet high, while the Pontiac spot offers walls up to 55 feet high in a 13,500-square-foot space. Both feature motorized climbing walls (like treadmills, only a hell of a lot more fun) and bouldering caves. We say, rock on.

Best place to roll

Airborne Skate Park

28070 Hayes, Roseville

586-776-7500

In-line skaters, skateboarders and BMX bicyclists (on selected days) can all spin on in style. Airborne offers 22,000 square feet of thrills and spills with an 11-foot half pipe, a bowl more than 6 feet deep and a 14-foot vertical wall. A daredevil’s delight.

Best place to watch drug deals and hookers

McNichols and Woodward Ave., Detroit

This particular crossroads of urban blight seems to be the spot of choice for Detroit's hard-working ladies of the night, as well as pushers, pimps and other shady characters from the wrong side of I-75. For a late-night cruise, it's not exactly romantic, but definitely fascinating — just be sure to lock your doors and load your Glock.

Best jam session for singers

Bert’s Marketplace

2727 Russell St., Detroit

313-567-2030

Lug your axe to Baker’s Keyboard on Wednesdays to have jam session leader Teddy Harris Jr. tighten up your craft. Take that axe to Bomac’s Lounge on Thursdays to let it all hang out. But if you’re a singer, the place is to pipe is Bert’s Marketplace on Thursdays where a different vocalist plays host each month. "The Shadow of Your Smile," "All Blues," "Cherokee" — you call the tune and the resident SBH Trio will swing ’em so you can sing ’em all night.

Best place to hear street buskers

Greektown

Beaubien and Monroe, Detroit.

Judging by the small number of participants, busking isn’t a very lucrative occupation in Detroit. Most street-corner crooners who give it a go tend to gravitate to the heart of Greektown, where on any given night you might be able to hear tenor sax "Pink Panther"-isms or twangy acoustic guitar blues. People who pay their dues and keep a keen eye out for buskers might even be blessed with the rare sighting of a charming middle-aged transvestite who tears through Strayhorn’s "Lush Life" in a falsetto tender enough to bring a tear to the eye.

Best new use of inner city space (large-scale)

Downtown Detroit

Complain all you want about "it might not be enough" or "who really wants to move here?" but the Motor City core is on its way back, and big-time. From the Campus Martius to Grand Circus Park, from Ford Field to Comerica Park, from the Gem and Century Theatres to the new Orchestra Hall high school for the performing arts, big projects are happening, and so are a whole lot of smaller ones, including mucho lofts and condos. Coming soon: Streetlights that work (just kidding).

Best new use of inner city space (medium-scale)

G.R. N’Namdi Gallery

66 E. Forest, Detroit

313-831-8700

Proprietor George N’Namdi has taken over a large building complex just east of Woodward Ave., renovated nearly half of it for his gallery and drawn up plans for a project that includes gourmet restaurants, other galleries and a bookstore. As it comes together, it’ll plug in another great addition to the quality of everyone’s everyday life, and help bring back the fine art of walking from one spot to another in the Cultural Center.

Best new use of inner city space (small-scale)

Southwest Detroit Business Association

7752 W. Vernor, Detroit

313-842-0986

Sun pours through skylights made from car windshields. A small plane wing serves as a handrail. Steel joists and drive shafts form two crooked columns. Scraps such as these were used to renovate a 70-year old building for the nonprofit group whose mission is to revitalize neighborhood commercial districts — and these digs fulfill this goal. It’s one of Detroit’s best-kept secrets. Visit Monday-Friday, 9 a.m.-5 p.m.

Best film series

Detroit Film Theatre

The Detroit Institute of Arts

5200 Woodward Ave., Detroit

313-833-3237

Now in its 28th year (yes, that’s right), the DFT is simply one of the cinematic wonders of the world. Bringing us movies that we’d never see otherwise, in languages and styles we’ve never encountered before, it’s been the venue for breakouts, the place we saw our first Jim Jarmusch or Zhang Yimou masterpieces, our first Errol Morris documentary, our first Alloy Orchestra performance — along with restored prints of classics, retrospectives of great directors, premieres and all great things cinematic.

Best place to see planes, trains and automobiles

Henry Ford Museum

20900 Oakwood, Dearborn

313-271-1620

And Lincoln's death chair. OK, he didn't really die in the chair. He was merely sitting in it when John Wilkes Booth did the deed at — how eerie is this? — Ford's Theatre? The chair, fascinating as it is, is but a mote in the grand constellation of mind-bending stuff you'll see at the Ford. This is the Smithsonian Midwest. Seemingly everything under the sun, from prehistoric recreational vehicles and vacuum cleaners to the largest badass locomotive you'll ever want to see. And, of course, beaucoup cars. Plan to spend hours.

Best place to roll in your new set of wheels

East Jefferson, Detroit

You just got your new set of wheels. Of course, you want to style and profile, so you head down to East Jefferson. There’s always a crowd, so the traffic is slow enough for you to lean wa-ay back in your seat, pump your music and drive the dang thang. Except for the police telling you to speed it up, East Jefferson is the place to take your car for a Friday-night stroll.

Best public library

Royal Oak Public Library

222 E. 11 Mile Road, Royal Oak

947-246-3700

This library firmly believes in the tradition of saving old valuables. It houses everything from old movies to magazines from the 1950s. It's one of the oldest library organizations in the state, dating to the mid-19th century, when Dr. Brewster allowed fellow Royal Oak Township citizens to turn his reading room into a book exchange. Today, the multilevel building houses more than 112,000 book titles alone.

Best park that has everything

Kensington Metropark

2240 W. Buno Road, Milford

248-685-1561

This place is perfect for those weekend getaways to the trees and water. It's one of the most beautiful areas in Michigan. The park has areas for barbecuing, a lake (including a concession stand) for swimming, picnic shelters, playgrounds, trails, a petting farm and many other amenities.

Best new attraction worth its hype

Polar bear exhibit, Detroit Zoo

8450 W. 10 Mile Road, Royal Oak

248-398-0900

You ain't lived till you've seen a white, 800-pound Arctic carnivore do the American crawl over your head. With its see-through tunnels under the bear pond, the Zoo gives new meaning to creative habitat. The graceful creatures put on an unforgettable show, delighting kids of all ages while undoubtedly making the seals in the nearby tank very nervous. Bathing bears alone are worth the price of admission. Hey, do wolverines swim?

Best mall for elderly walkers

Great Lakes Crossing

4000 Baldwin Road, Auburn Hills

877-SHOP-GLC

The megaplex will kick off its mall-walking program on Saturday, Sept. 28, 1-2 p.m. The mall, built in an oval shape, is a mile around and perfect for those early-morning get-up-and-goers. The kiosks act as hurdles, but the restaurants, play area and stores serve as eye candy to help pass the time while exercising those limbs.

Best Michigan vacation spot

Warren Dunes State Park

12032 Red Arrow Highway, Sawyer

616-426-4013

For $9 a night, camp at the Warren Dunes State Park, where miles of dunes stretch along Lake Michigan. If you insist on electricity and a real toilet, the price is only $20 a night. Nearby towns like Union Pier are sprinkled with cafés, restaurants, galleries and inns. Need a break from the beach? Chicago is about an hour’s drive. It’s a great place to visit, but you might wind up wanting to live there.

Best Michigan tourist trap

The Mystery Spot

150 Martin Lake Road, St. Ignace

"Amazing!" "Weird!" Baffling!" These are only some of the words those lucky enough to survive their visits use to describe The Mystery Spot, which appears to have a unique sort of anti-gravity that upsets the proper functioning of the hand that controls the wallets of dazed tourists. The Mystery Spot's discoverers were so kind to share their discovery with the general public for only $5 a tour. Their compassion also inspired them to add such exhilarating attractions as a maze, mini-golf, an arcade, a gift shop and picnic benches. Wow, dad, are we there yet?

Best way to show tourists downtown

Detroit People Mover

At 50 cents a round trip, there’s no better way to provide visitors a tour of Detroit than the venerable People Mover. The art work — particularly that guy always there reading a newspaper — is fun, the view of the river spectacular, and some of the architecture amazing.

Best place to entertain out-of-towners

Heidelberg Project

Heidelberg Street (between Mt. Elliot and Gratiot), Detroit

This crazy, colorful collection of junk is the perfect introduction to Detroit. It draws attention to the city’s seemingly inescapable blight and, at the same time, manages to convey a wellspring of hope. The fact that its creator, artist Tyree Guyton, has made this neighborhood project thrive, despite the efforts of some city officials to bulldoze it, makes Heidelberg the quintessential Motown metaphor. From downtown, take Gratiot to Mack, turn right on Mack and go to Mt. Elliot, turn right on Mt. Elliot, go about a quarter mile and turn right on Heidelberg Street and behold. Or just follow the polka dots.

Best place to stroll for a fee

Cranbrook House and Gardens

380 Lone Pine Road, Bloomfield Hills

248-645-3149

More than 300 acres of gardens, ponds, lakes, fountains and sculptures make this magical destination perfect for a spring stroll or winter hike. The fall colors are breathtaking. But summer is great for sneaking a dip in the private pool north of the Lone Pine entrance. Admission is $5, $4 for seniors and students. The grounds are open 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Monday-Saturday; 11 a.m.-5 p.m., Sun.

Best place for a first date

Detroit Zoo

8450 W. 10 Mile Road, Royal Oak

248-398-0900

The zoo is the ideal locale for a no-pressure, no-hassle date. Dress is by necessity casual. The fledgling couple can wander from exhibit to exhibit, spending more time watching the playful animals (prairie dogs, polar bears, penguins, otters), speeding past the less energetic ones (rhinos, lions). The animals are can't-miss conversation pieces. If you can't amuse each other in this setting, you're doomed. It’s cheap, fun and a chance to see if any of the critters turn out to be more intelligent than your companion.

Best political spouse

Judy Bonior

Since her husband, David, won’t be a politician much longer (Democratic gubernatorial nominee Jennifer Granholm trounced him in the primary and he finishes his 13th term as a U.S. Representative in December), it’s time to honor Judy. Like David, the feisty woman has dedicated her life to protecting the environment and the rights of minorities, women and workers. No doubt she and David will continue to fight the good fight.

Best gay advocates

Triangle Foundation

19641 W. Seven Mile Road, Detroit

313-537-3323 or www.tri.org

First things first: The Triangle Foundation doesn’t just serve gay interests. Lesbians, bisexuals and transgender persons also benefit from the work of this group, which battles discrimination. Whether its drawing attention to hate crimes, or fighting anachronisms like Detroit’s constitutionally questionable "annoying persons" law — which, until TF stepped in, was being used by Detroit police to harass gays at Rouge Park — the foundation is always ready to enter the fray.

Best labor news

Labor Notes

7435 Michigan Ave., Detroit

313-842-626 or www.labornotes.org

Since 1979, the nonprofit Labor Notes has been an organization that puts "the movement back in the labor movement." It’s not an idle boast. Relentlessly progressive, Labor Notes produces a monthly magazine that, in their words, "reports news about the labor movement that you won’t find anywhere else." In addition, the organization holds a national conference every two years that attracts activists from across the United States, as well as from Canada, Mexico and abroad.

Best new slogan for Detroit Public Schools

Democracy? We don’t need no stinkin’ democracy!

Best new slogan for Detroit

Our mayor can kick your mayor’s ass. Guaranteed.

Best bureaucrat

John Eddings

City of Detroit Ombudsman

If you have a question or complaint about city government, Eddings is your man. The jovial fellow, appointed to the 10-year, one-term post in 1995, loves serving Detroit’s citizens. He has held various civil service jobs since 1975 and claims to not have taken a single sick day. He uses vacation time instead. Eddings retires in December 2004, so catch him at 313-224-6000.

Best preacher

Dr. Charles Adams

Hartford Memorial Baptist Church

18700 James Couzens, Detroit

Jesse Jackson has nothing on Adams, who always provides a lesson in enlightened alliteration. At Coleman A. Young’s funeral, for instance, the pastor said that the former mayor fought racism and emerged, "unbroken, unbruised, unbent and uninhibited." He explained why his departed friend used expletives: "He would not stop cussing because his words articulated the feelings of those who suffered from marginalization, frustration and ghettoization. Adams is inspiring and entertaining. Services are Sunday at 7:30 a.m. and 11:00 a.m.

Best place to hold your nose

Michigan Humane Society Detroit Shelter

7401 Chrysler Drive, Detroit

313-872-3400

It’s no surprise that a shelter containing animals and their droppings should stink. But some days are worse than others. Weekends are particularly bad since crowds pack the place to pick up and drop off sad strays. The summer is also pretty ripe. Go adopt a pet, please, but take nose plugs.

Best Detroit golf course for Jekyll-and-Hyde golfers

Rouge Park Golf Course

11701 Burt Road, Detroit

313-837-5900

There are good, average and bad golfers. Some are all three, turning par-buster Jekyll to duffer Hyde — sometimes on the same hole. Rouge Park Golf Course plays into the minds of such whiz-bums. Cross the yawning Rouge River twice on the 440-yard first. The 11th requires a titanic drive and a midiron over water. Three short holes relieve, as the river waits suspiciously. Lose your balls here, even a club, but all return to Rouge.

Best golf course deals

(three-way tie)

Fern Hill G.C.,

17600 Clinton River Road, Clinton Township

586-286-4700

Hampton G.C.

2600 Club Drive, Rochester

248-852-3250

Southgate Municipal

14600 Reaume Parkway, Southgate

734-246-1358

A golfer who asks not "How many?" but "How much?" and angles for a higher score "to get my money’s worth" prefers playing with a light wallet. First, get a 2-for-1 golf coupon book (e.g., Michigan Golfers Map & Guide, PO Box 2612, Dearborn Heights 48123-2612). Then walk Fern Hill or Hampton for, oh, $15. Southgate Municipal is lively and cheap. Rates tumble like leaves in fall and spring. Senior rates abound. Play up that gray on top, then play all day for a 10-spot.

Best serenity

Belle Isle

off East Grand Blvd. and East Jefferson, Detroit

313-852-4075

Our Belle Isle has served many needs: Picnics. Runners. Grand Prix. Yachts. Serenity is sitting at a charred picnic table near a bush-lined pond. Friends, beer, a primitive grill flickering, cooking salmon till blinding sunset and mosquitoes descend. Again, at dawn, walk idly on shore pebbles, looking across to Waterworks Park – at the works of God and man in immense quiet. A whirring peaceful memory: riding round the island with close friends, 3 a.m., radio turned to WJR, just going on and on …

Best building to save

Book-Cadillac Hotel

Corner of Michigan Avenue and Washington Boulevard, Detroit

Officially, the jury is out as to whether the landmark structure on Washington Boulevard is salvageable. But people who know about such things say there’s enough steel supporting the place to sustain a nuclear blast. The hotel that once played host to royalty and celebrities has been vacant for too long now, bringing down an entire neighborhood. Reopen the Book and the boulevard will blossom again. To learn more about the effort to save this venerable building, visit the Friends of the Book-Cadillac Web site at www.book-cadillac.org.

Best haunted theatre

Grande Ballroom

Grand River and Beverly, Detroit.

Do yourself a favor and break into the Grande Ballroom — the abandoned theater at the corner of Grand River and Beverly which houses the ghosts of the best rock shows to ever happen in Detroit. Under the leadership of the one and only Russ Gibb, the Grande was something of a second home to the MC5 and The Stooges and its hallowed halls saw performances by the greatest ’60s rock groups (including Led Zeppelin, Hendrix, Canned Heat and Cream to name a few). When Gibb stepped down and the shows started to trickle out at the end of the ’60s it was truly the close of an era. Though now in danger of demolition, the Grande still stands at that corner for urban explorers willing to risk a minor ticket to commune with the ghosts of legends.

Best place for free radiation therapy

The Metropolitan Building

25-107 John R, Detroit

The glorious Metropolitan Building has served as a retail and manufacturing hub for jewelers and watchmakers. The 1925 architectural delight would be a perfect candidate for urban renewal, but unfortunately the previous tenants left a mess of radioactive waste — radium, the detritus of years of watch repairs. The Metropolitan closed its doors in 1979 and has remained vacant since. The city did make an attempt in 1997 to free the Metropolitan from its toxic burden.

Best vacant hospital

North Detroit General Hospital

3105 Carpenter, Detroit

No health care to be found here. North Detroit General, soon making its Hollywood debut in Eminem’s new film, 8 Mile, is the place you wouldn’t want to end up if you’re in any serious pain. Located on the Detroit-Hamtramck border, the hospital’s busted-out windows and glass-covered parking lots and sidewalks are perfect for re-opening any existing wounds. Be sure not to miss out on the milk-crate recliners and the stripped chunks of cars and colorful trash that line the entire grounds and seem to change and grow on an almost daily basis.

Best place for illegal, urban spelunking

Michigan Central Train Depot

Michigan Ave. at 14th, Detroit

One of Detroit's most haunting reminders of better days, the hulking, crumbling mass of the former train station is an ominous, haunted beauty. Adventure-seekers have been known to sneak onto the premises after dark, dipping under the barbed wire with single beams of light guiding the way. Though thrilling, this urban exploration is also highly dangerous. Aside from the risk of getting arrested, you never know when those old floorboards may give way.

Best and biggest non sequitur

The Wyland Whaling Wall "Whale Tower"

David Broderick Tower

10 Witherell, Detroit

One would think that the world’s premier ocean artist could realistically depict Detroit wildlife. There aren’t any humpbacks roaming our Great Lakes and the only Moby (sans dick) we know of appeared at Pine Knob in August. Homeboy Wyland created the Greenpeace tribute in 1997 to share the beauty of marine life. It's a lovely change of pace. Now if they'd just bring back that bitchin' faint silhouette of Barry Sanders.

Best place to see graffiti art

The Dequindre Line

St. Aubin, Detroit

Running Parallel to St. Aubin St. from Eastern Market to Jefferson Ave., the Dequindre Line is an abandoned set of railroad tracks that has become an ever-evolving canvas for Detroit graffiti artists. Inspiring explorations into color fusion and B-Boy attitude cover the walls of every overpass and abandoned car along the mile-long stretch. A fine alternative to stuffy galleries. Works range from elaborate creations to quickly thrown tags. Pieces in progress allow the observer to witness the creative process in all of its varying degrees. This constant flux provides a different experience with each visit.

Best place to watch birds

Pointe Pelée National Park of Canada

407 Robson St., R.R. #1

Leamington, Ontario

519-322-2365

Open all year, this Ontario wilderness park on a peninsula jutting into Lake Erie is a stopover spot in the migration cycles of countless North American birds and butterflies, making it an ideal place to shut up and just look. Located southeast of Windsor, it's less than an hour from Detroit. Get out there early (like just after sunrise), wear comfortable shoes and leave your litter in the car as you partake of sublime encounters with the great chain of being. An info center and designated paths show you the way.

Best neighborhood for a walk

Corktown

Off Michigan Avenue, Detroit

Located in the shadow of Tiger Stadium, Corktown, the city’s oldest neighborhood, provides a safe and pleasant foot tour. Brightly colored lofts, houses and apartments adorn the streets, giving one the impression of stepping into a van Gogh painting. The few remaining ramshackle buildings are a reminder of the hard times, but the reclaimed and dignified buildings and lovingly tended lawns provide a triumph of spirit and an example for the whole city.

Best place to people watch

Detroit Metropolitan Airport

Sure your flight is late. Again. But rather than sulk about missing that connection in Chicago, settle in and soak up the scenery. Let your mind reel with questions about each passerby. Scrutinize the crowd for possible terrorists. Why is that dude going to Rangoon with no luggage? Actually, we don't care. We just love to say Rangoon.

Best view of Detroit from a car

Northbound I-75 at mile marker 46

There is no grander view of Detroit than when you are traveling north into Detroit on I-75 about three miles south of town. The highway rises onto an overpass that takes you above the industrial yards of downtown and magically, as you come to the height of the overpass, the skyline of Detroit and Ambassador Bridge dominate the horizon. In a word: majestic.

Best landmark

Uniroyal tire

Allen Park

That giant tire — 86 feet in diameter, in fact — along I-94 started life as a Ferris wheel at the 1964 World’s Fair in New York City. Back then it had 24 gondolas and cost a quarter to ride. Now it just has a big nail sticking in it. Still, always such a treat to see we never tire of it. Get it? Tire.

Best crime syndicate

The Purple Gang

The sons of Jewish and Russian immigrants, the Purple Gang started as small-time hoods on Detroit’s infamous Hastings Street. The moniker allegedly grew from a victim's utterance: "They’re rotten, purple like the color of bad meat, they’re a purple gang." Graduating from the ranks of street thugs, the Purple Gang built such a violent reputation that even Chicago’s Al Capone eschewed their turf. The gang achieved further fame when Elvis Presley sang, "The whole rhythm section was the Purple Gang" in his 1957 hit "Jailhouse Rock."

Best unknown city

Wyandotte

Downriver often evokes images of rednecks, polluted waters and industry. And that’s a darn shame, especially for Wyandotte and its 28,000 residents. The blue-collar town, which sits about 12 miles southwest of Detroit, has come a long way. While maintaining its Mayberry-like atmosphere, it has evolved with the times. Coffee shops, art galleries and appealing retail businesses dominate its main drag, Biddle Avenue. Every third Friday of the month, stores and galleries are open late, giving the public a chance to meet the artists and shop. It’s also home to one of the state’s largest art fairs, has ethnic festivals, parades and other events all year long. But what’s best about this sweet city is Bishop Park, which sits on the Detroit River and is beautifully maintained. Give Downriver a chance.

Best local zine

Geek Monthly

Ann Arbor

[emailprotected]

With its cover-to-cover irreverence, Geek Monthly is a highly evolved product of both classic zine culture and dork lifestyle. Off-the-cuff humor and well-crafted illustrations inspire heady giggles about comics, superheroes, video games, horror movies, action figures and classic staples of the daily pursuits of the pure geek. Brilliant in concept, perfect in execution, Geek Monthly is available at local comic book stores and other geek harbors in Ann Arbor or by e-mail.

Best bartender-turned-rock star

Meg White

Memphis Smoke in Royal Oak seemed right that long-ago night for ribs, a three-chord shuffle and a cold one. Behind the bar was a short girl with long hair, moving to a jerky internal rhythm as she poured suds. We sidled up and asked for a recommendation. "What’s good with spicy food? Maybe something light but interesting, with a little flavor to it?" She smiled and offered a Red Stripe.

Best reason to think there’s hope for radio in Detroit

WDET-FM, 101.9

News without hype — thoughtfully done stories that get all the time they need to be told properly. Sounds that span all genres, cultures and countries. Show hosts who actually know something about the music they play. Want to listen to a station that assumes you have both a brain and an attention span? This must be the place. Just remember to pony up during a pledge drive; then you can enjoy the programming guilt-free.

Best rock radio host

Willy Wilson

WDET 101.9 FM

Friday Midnight-Saturday 5 a.m.

Every self-respecting fan of quality local music knows the drill: Get out of the bar on a Friday night (Saturday morning) and tune in to DTE. With Willy Wilson behind the microphone spinning a discerning mix of everything from local upstarts to deep, ageless treasures from the rock ’n’ roll canon, he should be regarded as nothing short of Detroit’s own John Peel. Pop a couple Percocets (cq) and listen until 5 a.m. We promise you’ll learn something.

Best sports-talk radio show

"Inside the Lockerroom"

WXYT 1270 AM

Mon.-Fri., 3-6 p.m.

Forget the irritating doggie howls, the endless self-promotion, the juvenile sex jokes and moronic humor that dominate most sports-talk radio in Detroit. This is the show for the thinking sports fan. With former big leaguer Kirk Gibson and ex-Lion quarterback Gary Danielson teaming up with Eli Zaret, the show is insightful, provocative and intelligent — a rare commodity, indeed.

Best talk radio

"Inside Detroit"

WCHB 1200 AM

Mon.-Fri., 6-10 a.m.

You may not always agree with her, but you can always count of Mildred Gaddis to take on tough issues. With a politically astute audience, she pulls no punches when going after the powers that be. And you just know the Mayor’s office has her tuned in every morning.

Best morning radio show to be beamed in from somewhere else

Russ Parr Morning Show

WDTJ 105.9 FM

Mon.-Fri., 6-10 a.m.

With songs that vary from Prince to the Staples Singers, Russ Parr will get you rockin’ and rollin’ in the morning. He’ll also get you laughin’. Accompanied by sidekicks Olivia Fox and Super Ken on a show that originates in Washington, D.C., Parr is renowned for his uncanny impersonations, including all the Jacksons — Magic, Michael and Jesse.

Best comedienne on morning radio

CoCo

WJLB 97.9 FM

Mon.-Fri., 5:30-10 a.m.

With her shout-outs to the big girls and jabs about "Skittle-colored ’gators," CoCo serves up plenty of laughs to the sleepy-eyed folks downing that first cup of coffee. She doesn’t hesitate trading wits with her fellow radio compadres. CoCo is large and in charge and has a comedy club named after her to prove it. Do your thang, CoCo.

Best jazz radio host

Lopez Loving, "The Jazz Show"

WDTR 90.9 FM

Saturdays, 11 a.m.-1 p.m.

Knee-jerk orthodoxy would give WDET-FM’s timeless Ed Love the prize, but truth must be told: Lopez Loving incarnates all of the great jazz broadcasting qualities. From his hard-edged, blues-inclined, always swinging play list (an awesome mix of modern jazz masters, particularly Cannonball, Coltrane, Miles and Jackie McLean, plus lesser-known stars such as Woody Shaw and more youthful fare) to his terse, hip delivery (keeping the blab to an absolute minimum), Lopez is the man.

Best alternative to alternative radio

The Internet

Screw the artists! Screw the RIAA! Forget the corporate music machine! Napster was just the beginning, and with the ever-expanding technologies of MP3 players, you can create your very own custom-tailored DJ set list for your computer at work or home. Hell, everyone else in town and their mother claims they're a DJ, so why not you too?

Best Web site about Detroit

Tie: www.forgottendetroit.com

and www.detroityes.com

David Kohrman and Lowell Boileau, creators of "Forgotten Detroit" and "Fabulous Ruins of Detroit," respectively, are waging their wars to save Detroit’s historical legacy. Both sites offer a glimpse of our city’s past, present and future with a wide selection of stories, photos and cultural ephemera. Dozens of sites on Detroit have sprung up in the past few years, but it’s no surprise that people are learning to love the originality and rich history on these pages.

Best spot for egregious cell phone abuse

Any sporting event or restaurant

It never fails. You want to enjoy a quiet dinner with your sweetie or take in a ballgame with a pal. Just when you’re really starting to enjoy things, some yahoo whips out a cell phone and starts to talk to somebody stupid about something stupid. It’s never an emergency — it’s just some show-off trying to prove how (self-) important they are.

Best place to get Medieval

Michigan Renaissance Festival

Dixie Highway (between Pontiac and Flint)

800-601-4848 or www.michrenfest.com

Surely we joust. Ribald wenches, naughty knaves, the queen and her court. Handmade handicrafts supreme, from swords to goblets to candles. Plus, the best barbecued turkey legs this side of Saxony. All this and more makes for a great time every year at the Michigan Renaissance Festival, held from mid-August until the end of September at the shire known as Mt. Holly.

Best pro sports franchise

The Detroit Pistons

No one can argue with world championships (as in three recent Stanley Cups), but the Red Wings are only the second-most-exciting club in town. What’s even more thrilling is being on board as a team shifts into gear and starts putting it all together — as in our beloved Pistons, what with a new point guard, a revamped front court, returning dynamos Barry, Robinson, Stackhouse, Wallace and Williamson, and a smart yet humble young coach. Now if they'd just move downtown!

Best stupid trade for the Tigers

Bobby Higginson for a vodka bottle and a crackhead to be named later

Mike, you traded your one good starting pitcher, Jeff Weaver, for some nobodies. You can’t fill the seats even when you give them away. You can barely make payroll. We can’t recognize most of the names on the roster. And where are all of the wonderful things that were supposed to happen in Detroit after Comerica Park was built? Why not just complete the demolition of this once-proud franchise? Not that anybody would notice.

Best trailer park

Flamingo Trailer Court

22600 Middlebelt Road, Farmington

Next time you need a dose of good old-fashioned kitsch, make a stop at the Flamingo Trailer Court. Its sign is a little piece of 1950s Americana, featuring two incandescent pink flamingos worthy of any Miami Beach shuffleboard haven. What it is, exactly, that distinguishes a trailer "court" from a trailer "park" is a mystery, but the semantic quandary only adds to the overall charm of the Flamingo Trailer Court.

Best parade

Thanksgiving Day Parade

Call us traditional, but the Thanksgiving Day Parade is the best. Whether you choose to watch it from the comfort of your living room or bundle up and head downtown to fight the crowds for some wholesome family fun, the parade is never a turkey. The grand finale with Santa is nothing compared to the clown brigade, which features corporate execs dressed in clown suits who spray the crowd thoroughly with silly string.

Best parade that’s not on Thanksgiving

Cinco De Mayo Parade

Clark Street and West Vernor, Detroit

May 5

Winding and grooving through the streets of Mexican Town, the Cinco De Mayo parade is one of metro Detroit’s most colorful celebrations all year. But a couple things make the marching fiesta a completely unique and cherished event to Detroiters. First, it is a festival that has the obvious love and support of the community that surrounds it. Even more importantly, the parade offers glimpses of what makes Detroit great: harmonious multiculturalism fusion and a spirited pride in the reviving neighborhoods south of Eight Mile.

Best Detroit statue

Gateway to Freedom memorial

Hart Plaza

Detroit is a city full of interesting statues. All of them are worth appreciation because they help to distinguish the city, but the one that deserves special recognition is the newest addition, located in Hart Plaza right on the riverfront. It is a statue commemorating the Underground Railroad that headed out of slavery and straight into the freedom of Canada. The location memorial — a bronze grouping of eight figures — as well as the history and characters represented there, could not have been done better.

Best Riverfront View

Riverwalk

Joe Louis Arena to Renaissance Center, Detroit

One of the best additions to Detroit in recent years has been the city’s riverfront promenade, which eventually will extend all the way from the Ambassador Bridge to the Belle Isle bridge. At least that’s what the hope is. But at least we have a start, and Detroiters are finally able to stroll along their river and enjoy the view. It’s a long overdue view.

Best Barbie Doll import

Pamela Anderson

Obviously the reduction wasn’t enough. Pamela continues to spread her famous cleavage throughout the Motor City. With greased-down boobies and lace-up leather minis, the former "Baywatch" babe can be frequently spotted at Bleu, X/S and cruising the Nautical Mile. If you wear a wife-beater, your hair’s long and sing songs about pimpin’, you just may have a chance to appear in your own stolen home p*rno.

Best fashion trend to kill

Overdosing on cologne or fragrance

Wandering down Main Street in Royal Oak on a Friday night, one will literally choke on the pungent clouds of Drakkar Noir and Eternity that hang thick in the air. Geez, guys, just use a little dab — don't knock the chicks out with an overpowering wall of overpriced masculine stink. And ladies? When your special man leans over to nuzzle your neck with a delicate kiss, you don't want him gagging and sputtering, desperately gesturing for water to wash the taste of your perfume out of his mouth. Talk about a mood killer.

Best cure for city blues (aka best afternoon getaway)

Downtown Windsor

OK, Windsor isn’t the pastoral oasis we crave on a gray, dirty, down-in-the-dumps Detroit day. But the lovely Canadian city’s proximity might be one of the best things about Detroit. So grab your passport, driver’s license and birth certificate, if available, and head to Canada. The tunnel will spit you into downtown in 15 minutes. Once there, you can park and actually, gasp, walk. Shops along Ouellette, the city’s main street, are plentiful and there are plenty of pleasures in the area around University West, including coffee shops, numerous bars and a great Ethiopian restaurant. The park along the river will bring out the green in any Detroiter. Plus, for our money, Detroit can look its best from a foreign country. We’ll just leave it at that.

Best art museum (best collection)

The Detroit Institute of Arts

5200 Woodward Ave., Detroit

313-833-7900

With its awe-inspiring Diego Rivera murals, its gorgeous Italian, Dutch and Flemish masters, its African treasures and stunning modern collection, the DIA wins hands down. Specific areas such as the American, Ancient, Islamic or Asian galleries are so intensely poetic that you’ll want to spend hours in each. And the Graphic Arts galleries keep expanding minds with show after show of adventurous photographs and works on paper, from Max Ernst to Robert Frank to Gordon Newton to high fashion. The DIA has no set admission price, but asks that students and children contribute $1 and adults give $4 — mere pittances for the value of what you are getting.

Best art museum (most intimate)

University of Michigan Museum of Art

525 South State St., Ann Arbor

734-764-0395

Impressive not so much for its holdings (world-class collections of Asian art and surrealism) as for its enlightened attitude and serious intellection, UMMA offers a year-round encounter with the sublime details of art. Hosting a series of fascinating, intimate shows (e.g. Joseph Beuys drawings, Monet waterscapes, ancient Chinese scroll paintings, Kara Walker silhouettes, etc.), this museum can almost be experienced in an afternoon. Don’t miss the traditional Japanese teahouse, where shakuhachi flute concerts and tea ceremonies take place each month.

Best art museum (most contemporary)

Cranbrook Art Museum

39221 Woodward, Bloomfield Hills

248-645-3323

This past year Cranbrook took a leap forward with its installation of the Dr. John & Rose M. Shuey collection, a gift of such overall quality and contemporary relevance that "leading edge" becomes a motto the museum can truly live by. Modern masterworks by Joan Mitchell, Roy Lichtenstein, Frank Stella and Larry Poons, among many others, combine with excellent year-round curating of the challenging kind to make the site a must-destination for anyone committed to the best of the new.

Best new gallery (city)

Tangent Gallery

715 E. Milwaukee, Detroit

313-873-2955

If the white, wide-open spaces of modern art turn you on, then Tangent (part of the mammoth new arts complex on East Milwaukee) is your best bet downtown. The enormous gallery project has just celebrated its first year of presenting big, blustery, color-mad shows by some of the most intriguing artists in Detroit. With mile-high walls and great expanses of floor space, Tangent can show virtually whatever it wants: large canvases, sculpture, installations and anything else its smaller cousins can’t.

Best new gallery (suburbs)

Susanne Hilberry Gallery

700 Livernois, Ferndale

248-541-4700

Relocating is often hard to do, but in the case of Susanne Hilberry’s new digs, the results are spectacular. Handsomely rethinking a 1950s light-industrial site, the gallery blends in with its green surroundings yet suggests all kinds of new aesthetic possibilities. Hilberry has created a base from which to represent her wonderful stable of contemporary artists (Richard Artschwager, Joel Shapiro and Elizabeth Murray, among them) and overnight becomes a model for anyone planning a contemporary museum in Detroit (wink, hint).

Best bar art

Cass Café

4620 Cass, Detroit

313-831-1400

It seems like many of our bar and restaurant owners fancy themselves armchair gallery curators. The result: Bar art almost always equals bad art. Almost. Sitting in a midtown bar and not being forced to look at your waiter’s girlfriend’s hackneyed attempts at aping Kirchner are few and far between. For relief, you shouldn’t look much further than the Cass Café. The shows (usually set up by midtown artist and former Creem art director Robin Sommers) are typically just as tasty as the restaurant’s avocado melts.

Best Detroit haiku

40s on Belle Isle

Abandoned house fires by night

Romance in Detroit

Best of Detroit 2002:

Celebrating capitalism
Party loyalty
Strong bodies
The wrong stuff
People's picks